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The Overprotected Kid

Let em eat the dirt, its good for them.
 
When I was 12 or so, I'd set out on my bike and ride with friends from 10 in the morning until dinner. No check-ins, no cell phones. We'd ride to the pool, go play golf, head to the bike shop or soda shop in Reynolda Village, head to a friend's house to play basketball, catch snakes in the creek, get in trouble for biking the cross country trails at Wake, etc. The only rule was to call home if I was going to be later than 8. When I was a little older, we'd ride 8-10 miles out of town, all of the way out to Lewisville to see friends. I think we even rode out and had lunch at Ted's Kickin' Chicken once it opened. My wife did similar things as a girl in Charlotte, riding from neighborhood to neighborhood to see friends and staying gone all day long.

At 5, 3, and 1, I'm all about my kids getting hurt, eating dirt, finding their own way, but I still have a hard time imagining my kids having that sort of freedom in their early teens. It doesn't seem like I see kids wandering around all summer on their own the same way we did. Where I do see it, it's in poorer urban neighborhoods rather than in the "safety" of the suburbs. Is the world really a less safe place or are we just more aware of the dangers thanks to modern media? Honestly, I'm half tempted to buy some land with a little cabin so my kids have a place where they can just go, be, wander and explore. Before moving to Winston, we lived on 5 acres of creeks, woods, etc growing up. I'd spend all day building dams, catching crawdads, hiking through the woods, shooting at bad guys, etc...at the same age, my kids are limited to our fenced in 50x50 back yard.
 
ridiculous:

"On weekdays after school she just expected me to show up for dinner; on weekends I barely saw her at all. I, on the other hand, might easily spend every waking Saturday hour with one if not all three of my children, taking one to a soccer game, the second to a theater program, the third to a friend’s house, or just hanging out with them at home. When my daughter was about 10, my husband suddenly realized that in her whole life, she had probably not spent more than 10 minutes unsupervised by an adult. Not 10 minutes in 10 years."
 
I read enough to know what the article was about and will read the rest later. Very interesting stuff and I'm going to try like hell to be aware of how much independence I'm giving my kids. We also lived by some woods and a creek and spent countless unsupervised hours there building forts and catching crawdads. I understand the temptation to hover over your kids and be fearful of everything. I would never have understood it before having kids of my own though.
 
I think it's a mostly fair article and it's something that this generation of parents all struggle with, but she leaves out a couple things. I'm not concerned about my kid so much as I am about someone else's; whether for their safety or for fear of social ostracization (we have no family here and not many friends) or lawsuits. And while I understand the risks of someone stealing my kid or serious injury occurring is very low, if it does happen to one of them, there's no coming back from that and it would make it pretty difficult to forgive myself if I could have prevented it.

That said, I hate it when there's a group of kids and an issue comes up between them and a parent immediately steps in and solves it. Let them work together and figure it out (or not). Same with people bringing toys to a playground with a lot of natural stuff to do in the immediate area. Kids will find a way to entertain themselves, especially when they're with other kids.

It's a struggle and while I consider myself more protective than not, I do force my kid to come up with some of his own games and to play by himself for awhile and when he's in a safe environment with other kids, I'm as hands-off as I possibly can be. Still a hell of a lot different from my childhood though, when we lived next to the railroad and would find and play with railroad spikes or just be left to our own devices all day in the summer as long as we were back for lunch and dinner.

ETA: and that lady whose 10 year old hasn't had 10 minutes of unsupervised play is fucking nuts. Poor kid.
 
I value my childhood and think my parents did a great job given our surroundings (safe suburb; backed up to woods/golf course; knew all the neighbors). We were really independent and especially in the summer it was outside all the time. It's really difficult to make a "when I'll have kids I'll turn them loose just like I was!" statement without a) having kids yet myself and b) knowing where we'll be living at that point.
I think a huge difference-maker is the issue of neighbors. There were so many similarly-aged kids in my neighborhood there was very much a 'it takes a village' thing going on. We ran around in packs and everyone knew and trusted the other parents. We also knew that wherever we were (as a group of kids), some parent somewhere would stick their head out the door and yell at us if we were doing something really stupid (and the parents all knew that, too, which helped them be more comfortable with letting us run around like hellions, I'm sure).
 
Royal: Chas has those boys cooped up like a pair of jackrabbits, Ethel.
Etheline: He has his reasons.
Royal: Oh, I know that. But you can't raise boys to be scared of life. You gotta brew some recklessness into them.
Etheline: I think that's terrible advice.
Royal: No you don't.
 
Had a very similar childhood to the other people that posted. And I want my kids to have the same experience. Being able to roam around freely at a young age is important.
 
I saw a field trip in my office building last week and every one of the kids in the class had a helmet on. They were all about 8 years old and not disabled. We are raising a generation of pussies.
 
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Stan Gable said:
I saw a field trip in my office building last week and the every one of the kids in the class had a helmet on. They were all about 8 years old and not disabled. We are raising a generation of pussies.
Click to expand...

Pics or I don't believe it.
 
Stan Gable said:
I saw a field trip in my office building last week and the every one of the kids in the class had a helmet on. They were all about 8 years old and not disabled. We are raising a generation of pussies.
Click to expand...

According to the CDC, helmet wearing is the number 2 cause of hair loss.
 
RacerDeac said:
When I was 12 or so, I'd set out on my bike and ride with friends from 10 in the morning until dinner. No check-ins, no cell phones. We'd ride to the pool, go play golf, head to the bike shop or soda shop in Reynolda Village, head to a friend's house to play basketball, catch snakes in the creek, get in trouble for biking the cross country trails at Wake, etc. The only rule was to call home if I was going to be later than 8. When I was a little older, we'd ride 8-10 miles out of town, all of the way out to Lewisville to see friends. I think we even rode out and had lunch at Ted's Kickin' Chicken once it opened. My wife did similar things as a girl in Charlotte, riding from neighborhood to neighborhood to see friends and staying gone all day long.

At 5, 3, and 1, I'm all about my kids getting hurt, eating dirt, finding their own way, but I still have a hard time imagining my kids having that sort of freedom in their early teens. It doesn't seem like I see kids wandering around all summer on their own the same way we did. Where I do see it, it's in poorer urban neighborhoods rather than in the "safety" of the suburbs. Is the world really a less safe place or are we just more aware of the dangers thanks to modern media? Honestly, I'm half tempted to buy some land with a little cabin so my kids have a place where they can just go, be, wander and explore. Before moving to Winston, we lived on 5 acres of creeks, woods, etc growing up. I'd spend all day building dams, catching crawdads, hiking through the woods, shooting at bad guys, etc...at the same age, my kids are limited to our fenced in 50x50 back yard.
Click to expand...

damn dude what year were you 12? That was my stomping ground and daily agenda..
 
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As much as this paints a sad picture, I think about the kids in our neighborhood. We are in what many would classify as the suburbs of Winston but still on Winston by about 100 yards. Our neighborhood is filled with kids. They still play in the streets and make up games. Back in the fall or summer they had created the hunger games but without anyone dying. I grew up on 20 acres with no neighbors my age after our neighbor moved away when I was in third grade. They probably have more of the experience that's many in this thread discuss than I did. I sometimes find myself jealous that they have friends in their neighborhood that are the same age.
 
WakeGal said:
As much as this paints a sad picture, I think about the kids in our neighborhood. We are in what many would classify as the suburbs of Winston but still on Winston by about 100 yards. Our neighborhood is filled with kids. They still play in the streets and make up games. Back in the fall or summer they had created the hunger games but without anyone dying. I grew up on 20 acres with no neighbors my age after our neighbor moved away when I was in third grade. They probably have more of the experience that's many in this thread discuss than I did. I sometimes find myself jealous that they have friends in their neighborhood that are the same age.
Click to expand...

I'll be honest- this isn't a sad picture (for them... for you, I'm sorry you missed out on that childhood experience at least as far as this stuff is concerned). It truly makes me happy/warms my heart to know that kids actually still do things like this. There are a ton of kids on our apartment complex, and they do nothing outside. It's so sad.
 
lbE08 said:
I'll be honest- this isn't a sad picture (for them... for you, I'm sorry you missed out on that childhood experience at least as far as this stuff is concerned). It truly makes me happy/warms my heart to know that kids actually still do things like this. There are a ton of kids on our apartment complex, and they do nothing outside. It's so sad.
Click to expand...

The sad picture was the article not the neighborhood.

Would I have loved to have some neighbors around my age sure. But honestly my sister and I had a blast growing up. I spent 90 percent of my time outside. From bottle rockets to gardening to my forts to my bridge I built in the woods over the creek, I wouldn't trade it for anything.
 
ahh, gotcha. mis-read your first sentence. carry on.
 
My college friends and I continued the tradition of young bucs fucking around by tossing the pigskin, having random 40 yard dash challenges and generally running amuck outside in our college nieghborhood. Never saw much of anyone else doing anything outside. Its not just the kids now. Erryone be watchin the boob tube or playin the vidjis.
 
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