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Chat Thread : welcome to the world of the plastic beach

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I had a prominent academic chairman straight up lie to me. Written job offer, told me they were going to keep interviewing while I decided, but specifically told me I had the right to first refusal, and if they found someone else they liked they would give me the opportunity to sign right away. They arranged for me to come back out with my wife, had us scheduled to meet with a realtor, etc, and the night before I was supposed to come, the chairman called me and said they already gave the job to someone else.

Big kick in the gut at the time. Fortunately I found something that ended up being a much better fit for me anyway.
 
JuiceCrewAllStar said:
it's something I'm really trying to work on: being better at being bored

i automatically go for my phone and it makes me unhappy
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Yeah, I’ve found even listening to audiobooks now I have the impulse to look at my phone instead of just silently listening in peace
 
DeacInVermont said:
As someone with openings to fill (#makosmom), we have to absolutely ride (#makosmom) our HR folks to be responsive to candidates. We've lost folks to other employers because of how slow they were to communicate an offer.
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Yeah I was going to add to this discussion to say that I almost gave up and focused on different applications during the interview process for my current job, which is one that I actually got (obviously). There would be multiple weeks long stretches where our HR wouldn't even bother responding to my emails, and then out of the blue would appear with the next step in the interview process.

Being timely seems like it would be one of the most needed attributes of an HR person, but that hasn't at all been the case in my experience. I assume the delays are not the individual HR person's choice, but still.
 
Way back in the olden times when I was interviewing for jobs, it really bugged me that there was no mechanism for feedback to learn where I came up short/what I could have done better during the interview. Now that I'm often on the other side of the table, one of the things I offer candidates is a follow up conversation to those who don't get the job to let them know what I liked and what I didn't. I get how that would be impossible for folks who do more than the handful of interviews I do in a year, but it's kind of a golden rule sort of thing for me.
 
a cool thing about big city living is that a bunch of my friends are just people from the neighborhood i met hanging out at the lake

i think denser cities have more third space-type locations to facilitate these interactions
 
DeacInVermont said:
Way back in the olden times when I was interviewing for jobs, it really bugged me that there was no mechanism for feedback to learn where I came up short/what I could have done better during the interview. Now that I'm often on the other side of the table, one of the things I offer candidates is a follow up conversation to those who don't get the job to let them know what I liked and what I didn't. I get how that would be impossible for folks who do more than the handful of interviews I do in a year, but it's kind of a golden rule sort of thing for me.
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my first round of applying for grad school, I asked to meet with the admissions director at a school I didn't get into to get feedback. He sat down with me, looked at my application, and his feedback basically amounted to: "I don't know man, your application looks good. We just have a ton of applicants for just a few spots"

Not very helpful!
 
Yeah all of my friends are work friends or friends that I've made through my wife's work (aka out at bars)
 
BeachBumDeac said:
The only friends I've made as an adult have come either through work or parents in the neighborhood who have kids that my kids play with
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We've really lucked out in that respect. We used to have a rotation of date nights with 5 different couples before the pandemic and still haven't gotten that back going. Two couples are my kids' friends. Two are my wife's co-workers and their husbands. Another is a couple I met on the playground across the street while our kids were playing.
 
BeachBumDeac said:
The only friends I've made as an adult have come either through work or parents in the neighborhood who have kids that my kids play with
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That’s pretty much what I’ve gathered. I don’t have kids and essentially work in an office by myself so that’s two strikes.
 
JuiceCrewAllStar said:
volunteer!
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I do volunteer a good amount but primarily through opportunities coordinated by work. I was doing Durham Literacy Center which I enjoyed but that was in person instruction and got sidetracked by Covid. Need to get back into something I can do regularly though. Also just gotta bite the bullet and find some people to play tennis with this fall. Could end up finding some friends there.
 
Who among you has a WSJ sub and is willing to tell me how many times you have to hit "next group" to find Wake Forest listed?

 
BeachBumDeac said:
The only friends I've made as an adult have come either through work or parents in the neighborhood who have kids that my kids play with
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WRS said:
That’s pretty much what I’ve gathered. I don’t have kids and essentially work in an office by myself so that’s two strikes.
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So both of you live in Durham?

matchmaker gif fiddler on the roof
 
One of the all time great characters on the bbc archive today, steeplejack Fred Dibnah, the legend himself.



 
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