CT 116: Is That A Margarita Runnin Down Your Leg Or Are You Just Happy to See Me?!
- Thread starter Manifest Destiny
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Multiple Miggs
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TownieDeac
words are futile devices
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the emails my dad is sending from Florence are HILARIOUS. dude is the opposite of emoTownie when it comes to art. he just doesn't get it. but he had his first real visceral experience with art when he saw the sistine chapel, said he sat in there and just gaped at the ceiling for a while and people around him just wept at the overall beauty. then today, he saw David (didn't realize it was in Galleria dell'Accademia where he is touring) and spent like 45 minutes looking at it.
i can't help but think about tom haverford
i can't help but think about tom haverford
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DeaconBrews
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No back hair on itk if those photos she sent to ArlingtonDeac aren't photoshopped
BillBrasky
#PSF
I'm OUT on lady hair. Sorry Knight. Don't want none of that shit around, unless its on the head.
marquee moon
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BillBrasky
#PSF
Deacfreak07
Ain't played nobody, PAWL!
I'm not a fan of the no grass on the field look.
awakeandready
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OF COURSE
Gross. Bald or landing strip. Otherwise go shave that shit.
marquee moon
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KickballDeac
Bernie Eskimo Bro
For me, it's either gotta be bald 'n smooth or it's gotta be long enough so that it's not all prickly (but just long enough, nothing out of control). I don't like feeling stubble down there.
Say Hey Deac
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I don't want to alarm anyone, but I think someone made a life-like synthetic version of ITK. She's the one on the left. The one on the right looks like what I imagine Boogity's goth to resemble:
http://m.theatlantic.com/health/arc...-why-one-man-advocates-synthetic-love/279361/
http://m.theatlantic.com/health/arc...-why-one-man-advocates-synthetic-love/279361/
marquee moon
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I don't want to alarm anyone, but I think someone made a life-like synthetic version of ITK. She's the one on the left. The one on the right looks like what I imagine Boogity's goth to resemble:
http://m.theatlantic.com/health/arc...-why-one-man-advocates-synthetic-love/279361/
somewhere in bumblefuck georgia, boogity just creamed his nantucket jorts
TownieDeac
words are futile devices
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the Onion was made for articles like this:
Study: Average Person Becomes Unhinged Psychotic When Alone In Own House
ITHACA, NY—Citing a range of behavior that experts could only describe as “profoundly disturbed,” a new study released by Cornell University’s psychology department Thursday revealed that most otherwise normal people transform into complete psychotics when alone in the confines of their own homes.
The study, conducted in the households of millions of Americans over an 11-month period, states that from the moment the average person sets foot inside their front door, they begin exhibiting wildly unhinged mannerisms, including loudly talking to themselves; suddenly snapping their fingers for brief, three-to-five-second bursts for no reason whatsoever; and walking into their bathrooms, staring into the mirror, inflating their cheeks while making a grotesque face, and then leaving as if what they did was completely normal.
“Before we began, none of us could have guessed at the depths of psychosis the general public sinks into every day behind closed doors,” the study’s lead author, Dr. Peter Gibbon, told reporters. “Yet, as our research points out, even the most seemingly mentally healthy person devolves into fits of hysteria once in private, performing activities such as dancing in an entirely silent room and singing snippets of nonsensical songs that they’ve made up on the spot.”
“If they did any of these activities in public, a coworker would more than likely be compelled to report the individual to human resources, who would in turn contact a local psychiatric hospital or mental health center,” Gibbon added. “And a pedestrian would just assume the individual was a raving lunatic.”
Of those subjects who were observed, the report noted that 45 percent tend to break up periods of prolonged silence with quick, random sounds like “Hup!” “Tketetata,” and “Hello!” 63 percent would enter their kitchen, look into the refrigerator, close it, and go back to their living rooms without accomplishing anything—sometimes five times in a one-hour span—and 23 percent would create bizarre physical projects for themselves such as attempting to pick up a pen near their couch using only their toes.
In what could only in most cases be described as symptoms of severe obsessive-compulsive disorder and mania, nearly 95 percent of individuals, when alone in their houses, would spend three consecutive hours mindlessly scrolling through their smartphones, then looking at the same three websites on their computers, then bouncing back and forth between the same television channels, and then picking up their smartphones, thus setting the process into motion once again.
More than 500,000 individuals engaged in imaginary arguments in which they supplied lines of dialogue for their bosses or parents, and then proceeded to win the seemingly hallucinated verbal dispute point-by-point.
“We discovered that the private mannerisms of most people, if seen in public, would be considered nearly identical to the those of a person with a severe case of schizophrenia,” Gibbon stated. “For example, if you were to witness someone on a subway car obsessively pulling their elbow skin to check its elasticity or see an individual randomly say to themselves, ‘Okay, okay, I’ll call her’ to no one in particular, your immediate reaction would be to think, ‘This person is insane and needs professional help.’”
Yet the researchers were quick to point out that by far the most mentally unstable individuals they encountered were pet owners, who, when alone, would reportedly walk amongst their animals entirely in the nude, talk to them as if they were humans by saying such things as “I don’t want to go to the gym today, Corker,” and would cover them in blankets for no discernible reason other than to indulge in their own sick curiosity.
“Many pet owners would lie naked in bed and let their cats walk on their bare bodies, an act that, if done in public, would merit that person’s admission to a psychiatric treatment ward,” the study’s co-author Dr. Erica Crain said. “And though these people seemed to love their pets, they would also purposely frustrate them by poking their stomachs, squeezing their paws slightly harder than what would be deemed acceptable, or cornering them just to see what the pets’ reaction would be.”
“These are the actions of people with deep psychological problems,” Crain added. “And based on all of our findings, from the tens of millions who, out of nowhere, made cluck sounds with their tongues, or, completely unprompted, tried out a Barack Obama impression, we have been forced to conclude that all human beings are utterly out of their minds.”
Study: Average Person Becomes Unhinged Psychotic When Alone In Own House
ITHACA, NY—Citing a range of behavior that experts could only describe as “profoundly disturbed,” a new study released by Cornell University’s psychology department Thursday revealed that most otherwise normal people transform into complete psychotics when alone in the confines of their own homes.
The study, conducted in the households of millions of Americans over an 11-month period, states that from the moment the average person sets foot inside their front door, they begin exhibiting wildly unhinged mannerisms, including loudly talking to themselves; suddenly snapping their fingers for brief, three-to-five-second bursts for no reason whatsoever; and walking into their bathrooms, staring into the mirror, inflating their cheeks while making a grotesque face, and then leaving as if what they did was completely normal.
“Before we began, none of us could have guessed at the depths of psychosis the general public sinks into every day behind closed doors,” the study’s lead author, Dr. Peter Gibbon, told reporters. “Yet, as our research points out, even the most seemingly mentally healthy person devolves into fits of hysteria once in private, performing activities such as dancing in an entirely silent room and singing snippets of nonsensical songs that they’ve made up on the spot.”
“If they did any of these activities in public, a coworker would more than likely be compelled to report the individual to human resources, who would in turn contact a local psychiatric hospital or mental health center,” Gibbon added. “And a pedestrian would just assume the individual was a raving lunatic.”
Of those subjects who were observed, the report noted that 45 percent tend to break up periods of prolonged silence with quick, random sounds like “Hup!” “Tketetata,” and “Hello!” 63 percent would enter their kitchen, look into the refrigerator, close it, and go back to their living rooms without accomplishing anything—sometimes five times in a one-hour span—and 23 percent would create bizarre physical projects for themselves such as attempting to pick up a pen near their couch using only their toes.
In what could only in most cases be described as symptoms of severe obsessive-compulsive disorder and mania, nearly 95 percent of individuals, when alone in their houses, would spend three consecutive hours mindlessly scrolling through their smartphones, then looking at the same three websites on their computers, then bouncing back and forth between the same television channels, and then picking up their smartphones, thus setting the process into motion once again.
More than 500,000 individuals engaged in imaginary arguments in which they supplied lines of dialogue for their bosses or parents, and then proceeded to win the seemingly hallucinated verbal dispute point-by-point.
“We discovered that the private mannerisms of most people, if seen in public, would be considered nearly identical to the those of a person with a severe case of schizophrenia,” Gibbon stated. “For example, if you were to witness someone on a subway car obsessively pulling their elbow skin to check its elasticity or see an individual randomly say to themselves, ‘Okay, okay, I’ll call her’ to no one in particular, your immediate reaction would be to think, ‘This person is insane and needs professional help.’”
Yet the researchers were quick to point out that by far the most mentally unstable individuals they encountered were pet owners, who, when alone, would reportedly walk amongst their animals entirely in the nude, talk to them as if they were humans by saying such things as “I don’t want to go to the gym today, Corker,” and would cover them in blankets for no discernible reason other than to indulge in their own sick curiosity.
“Many pet owners would lie naked in bed and let their cats walk on their bare bodies, an act that, if done in public, would merit that person’s admission to a psychiatric treatment ward,” the study’s co-author Dr. Erica Crain said. “And though these people seemed to love their pets, they would also purposely frustrate them by poking their stomachs, squeezing their paws slightly harder than what would be deemed acceptable, or cornering them just to see what the pets’ reaction would be.”
“These are the actions of people with deep psychological problems,” Crain added. “And based on all of our findings, from the tens of millions who, out of nowhere, made cluck sounds with their tongues, or, completely unprompted, tried out a Barack Obama impression, we have been forced to conclude that all human beings are utterly out of their minds.”
Say Hey Deac
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Is it possible that Boogity runs a side business designing and building synthetic lady sex dolls? The ITK/Goth Girl look-alikes are too strange to be a coincidence.
he just put the friday seersucker suit in the closet on labor day.
marquee moon
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I'd say boogity is on the short list around here for most likely to have a teen chained to his basement furnace
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