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rjkarl holds the copyright on the phrase, "Once bitten, thrice shy."

Rjkarl was an uncredited producer on the song "Two Princes" by the Spin Doctors.

rjkarl is on a first-name basis with the staff of the Office of the Jury Commissioner of Orange County, California as a result of his weekly call, made promptly at 8:30 AM every Monday morning, in order to see when it may once again be his turn to serve and earn what for rjkarl is a lucrative...

Rjkarl has never understood why "dumpling" is a term of endearment, because "dump" is a gross word. Reference to taking a "dump," in rjkarl's mind, denotes a particularly large and watery, probably loose, bowel movement. So calling someone a "dumpling" is like calling them a small, sloppy...

The longest rjkarl has gone without defecating is 6 days. Since that incident, he has refused to visit another Brazilian steakhouse.

rjkarl has a recurring dream in which he is eating a bowl of Corn Pops cereal and the cereal is slightly stale, but while eating it he is reading the obituary section of the Toledo Blade and he discovers his own obituary, and in the obituary it describes him eating stale Corn Pops cereal and...

rjkarl has been bitten by the following animals: - dog - cat - possums (multiple) - racoon - bees - parrotfish - wolf - Temperate Sil, winner of the 1987 Santa Anita Derby - brown recluse spider - deer - reindeer - chickens (various breeds) - cow - goat - pig (domestic) - pig (feral) - San...

Rather than use soap, rjkarl uses shampoo + conditioner to clean his entire body. He squirts it into his right hand, much as one would body wash, and rubs it all over his body, paying particular attention to his armpits, genitals, and anus. It is unorthodox, but the results speak for...

rjkarl invented techno music. He is the Father of Techno.

rjkarl is old

For self-defense purposes, the pinky toenail on rjkarl's right foot is kept sharpened to a fine point at all times. Prior to every meal, rjkarl removes his shoe and sock and inspects this toenail meticulously to ensure its continued lethality. While he has never had to attempt to slit an...

rjkarl was the first man to successfully employ the "come hither" motion as a means to initiating a female orgasm. His technique has since evolved to include simultaneous (a) oral stimulation of the clitoris, (b) aforesaid come hither motion with index and middle fingers of right hand, and (c)...

rjkarl typically masturbates once a day, at night immediately before bed. Despite owning a computer and having ready access to the internet, he prefers to pleasure himself using men's magazines, just as he did as a young man. He enjoys the photographs, but also can bring himself to completion...

rjkarl has successfully bedded four women by claiming to hold a lucrative copyright to the famous schoolyard second stanza to the Happy Birthday song: "Happy Birthday to you/You live in a zoo/You look like a monkey/And you smell like one too."

rjkarl has unsuccessfully faked his own death 3 times in an effort to elude creditors. Each time he filled a pair of slacks and long sleeve shirt with straw, animal hair and ketchup, tied off the ends, and tossed it from an overpass onto a California freeway. He then went home and spent the...

Rjkarl has cut his own hair on a monthly basis since 1973, a practice which has saved him an estimated $5,000 in barber fees.

rjkarl is a member of the rare 0.0005% of the male population capable of orgasm via stimulation of the nipples.

rjkarl invented truck nuts and installed a homemade pair on his first vehicle, a 1961 Chevrolet Corvair. Unfortunately, he never bothered to pursue a patent for his creation, a mistake that haunts him to this day.

rjkarl owns 8 pairs of white cotton briefs. The oldest pair was purchased in August 1997. The newest pair was purchased in February 2008. They are size XL. When he urinates, he pulls his penis out over top of his underwear's waistband, unless he is using a urinal in a public restroom, in...