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Career mid life crisis

Jeff Fatt

Jeff Fatt

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Last night while enjoying some wine, I was reflecting on my job satisfaction or lack thereof. Everyone says you should love what you do. I definitely do not love what I do. I don't even really like it. I make a decent living and provide for my family but I am spending so much of my life working doing something that is purely a means to an end. Sometimes I think I would be much happier living on an island working as a bartender or something along those lines, even though the financial "luxuries" I have now would no longer exist for me. I'm in my late 30s so probably too late to realistically change careers, and even if I could I don't know what I would change to. I guess the epiphany from 2 bottles of wine last night is that I really don't like to work. The prospect of spending the next 20-30 years at 50-60 hours a week doing something I really don't like just to make some money is pretty depressing. Mid life crisis perhaps but at the end of my life, is this really what I want to have spent the majority of my life doing?

So my questions for you are do people really truly love what they do? If not, what motivates you to continue spending the majority of your life doing something you don't particularly enjoy simply as a financial means to an end?
 
I face this daily. I once posted on a scuba forum I frequent asking about people who hung up their professional, white-collar careers and started working full-time in their favorite past-time (in this case, obviously scuba given the audience). Some of the stories were fascinating.

But the main theme was that everyone waited until they were financially able to do so. I think the amount of time and work you invest in yourself to get a high-paying professional job reveals a mentality that you plan and work and don't take foolish chances. So I'd say most of us are working towards an end. Retirement and doing what you want do to, not what you "have" to do.
 
Jeff Fatt said:
Last night while enjoying some wine, I was reflecting on my job satisfaction or lack thereof. Everyone says you should love what you do. I definitely do not love what I do. I don't even really like it. I make a decent living and provide for my family but I am spending so much of my life working doing something that is purely a means to an end. Sometimes I think I would be much happier living on an island working as a bartender or something along those lines, even though the financial "luxuries" I have now would no longer exist for me. I'm in my late 30s so probably too late to realistically change careers, and even if I could I don't know what I would change to. I guess the epiphany from 2 bottles of wine last night is that I really don't like to work. The prospect of spending the next 20-30 years at 50-60 hours a week doing something I really don't like just to make some money is pretty depressing. Mid life crisis perhaps but at the end of my life, is this really what I want to have spent the majority of my life doing?

So my questions for you are do people really truly love what they do? If not, what motivates you to continue spending the majority of your life doing something you don't particularly enjoy simply as a financial means to an end?
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I have this exact inner monologue almost daily. My instinct is to just run, but I love my family, so I am stuck.
 
Yikes... 2 responses that agree with the OP so far.

I'm only 2 years into my working life. I hope I don't become miserable, but I imagine it is possible.
 
To the first three posters, were you ever at one time happy with your job? Or was it always a means to an end or hopes of a brighter tomorrow sometime down the line?
 
welcome to the rest of your miserable life. at least wake sports teams are good.
 
I'm on pace for changing jobs every 2 years because of this fear
 
I've found nice coworkers make all the difference when dealing with a job you don't love. Unfortunately Jeff, from what I've gathered you work alone (am I right?. Maybe you could get a job where you are around people more.
 
^^^Why layers are so miserable. Always being surrounded by lawyers is a terrible fate.
 
Well, I think Jeff is in finance of some sort. Or he entertains children worldwide. Not sure.
 
I'm only three years into my career in local government (4 years if you count grad school for an MPA). I love what I do but I've already moved from the DC area to Roanoke after only working for two years. I'm 29 so maybe it's too early to tell but I love what I do.

Before grad school, I worked for a sub-prime finance company and hated that so I might have a different perspective or a higher tolerance for bull shit.

Could you move to a different company in the same area? Some changes in work without a total career change might help without totally uprooting everything.
 
Are you at all entrepreneurial or do you only see yourself working for someone else?
 
Entertaining the children of the world keeps me going. In all seriousness I am not a lawyer and do not work alone. Interesting responses so far. We are on this earth for such a short period of time (relatively) and I don't think a job/career exists that I could really justify as being the best use of that time. But I need $$.
 
I envy people who are doing something they love. I've enjoyed hearing the stories told this fall by some of my fellow tailgaters who are teaching. The joy & excitement on their faces as they talk about their students, preparing for their classes, ideas they have to stretch/add to the curriculum...I want to find that enthusiasm.
 
I have changed "paths" but have stayed in the corporate business side my whole professional career post MBA. I usually convince myself that I like it for about eight months and then realize it is the same old corporate, kiss ass, dead end bull shit. But, as with Mr Fatt, I need $$.
 
Hard to find enthusiasm and a good amount of money in the same place. Probably many more enthusiastic teachers than most other professions, but that makes sense - it can be rewarding in ways that other jobs cannot be. Hence, it doesn't pay much.

Really, the only way to go is to work for yourself in some respect. I am a lawyer, but work for myself in the sense that I am in an eat-what-you-kill firm with good people - they don't care if I work, play golf, go fishing, do whatever - as long as the numbers are there at the end of the day.

I used to work for a huge firm. Awful. Probably the worst professional job there is - surrounded by d-bags, playing politics, face time, pyramid scheme that rewards inefficiencies, etc., etc., etc. Same "profession" I have now, but totally different jobs.

You get some autonomy/independence, and things start looking brighter immediately - I cannot say that I love practicing law, but it is not bad at all if you remove the irrelevant and time-consuming bullshit that other lawyers seem to find necessary when they turn their practice into a corporation. On the other hand, if you spend your life looking over your shoulder wondering what "the boss" is going to think of your next move, and it is going to be miserable, no matter what the profession.
 
AnonymousDeac said:
To the first three posters, were you ever at one time happy with your job? Or was it always a means to an end or hopes of a brighter tomorrow sometime down the line?
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I actually love the work I do. It's the fucking shitbirds I have to work with that make it miserable. I have worked for myself as an independent consultant and could easily do that again. But I do see tangible, positive results where I'm at and I do enjoy the work. But I'd love to combine a favorite past-time into a profession. Is the grass ever greener? I don't think so. I mean, even being the in-house gynecologist at the Playboy Mansion must have monotonous, depressing days.
 
I could work my current job for the next 30 years.
I don't think most people (read:wives,children) appreciate the weight of this enough:
I have this exact inner monologue almost daily. My instinct is to just run, but I love my family, so I am stuck.
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