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Church hires sex offender because God "forgave" him - he proceeds to rape teenage boy

It's going to be fantastic to compare WakeandBake's posts now to in a few months when he's holding his own little bundle of joy in his arms.
 
PhDeac said:
My pastor never meets with a woman without his wife. Not a church rule. He just knows he doesn't want to be tempted or even give any grounds for someone to believe there is impropriety.
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tht's fucking weird
 
and there's a huge diff b/w adult women and children. #rapeculture
 
RChildress107 said:
Of course not. The large majority of adults would never hurt a child. I just know that it is incredibly difficult to distinguish them from those that would. Most people (including childcare professionals) overestimate their ability to spot a child predator.

That's why organizations charged with looking after children almost universally follow a rule of 3. Breaking that rule is an immediate red flag and is going to draw extra scrutiny. 99 times out of 100 it's totally innocent but by having and following that rule you are much more able to prevent or quickly respond to that 1 time in 100.
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I understand, and I will likely feel that way when my son is born and I have to leave him with someone. And for organizations like churches and scouts, I concede that that is best.

But I can't help but feel like a lot of parents nowadays think there is a child molester waiting behind every tree and in every parking lot for a child to steal and abuse if they take their eyes off of him for a second, and that there are people with a real interest in perpetuating this idea, when in fact our children are no less safe than they ever have been. And I also feel that many parents do not want to appear that they are negligent or shitty parents to their friends and neighbors and therefore take unbelievable and often unreasonable precautions to avoid this image - not for their children, but for themselves, at the child's expense. How someone wants to raise their kid and live their life is their business, but I commented that I feel the reward to the child of experiencing things like spending the day on his bike unsupervised or hanging at a park unsupervised the way my generation did was worth some of the perceived risk involved. I don't even know if that risk is real or if it is sensationalized. I feel like some parents tend strictly toward taking the least risk on every decision they make, and if their child's life is lacking in richness as a result, then so be it, he's alive and hasn't been raped or beaten. They are willing to make that trade for them, and I'm not sure it is good for the children or society as a whole.
 
It's safer today than in recent decades.

Between 1970 (when detailed figures became available) and 2009 every category of child victimization has declined: child sexual abuse down 53 percent; physical abuse down 52 percent; aggravated assault down 69 percent; robbery down 62 percent; larceny down 54 percent. Bullying has dropped by a third in the last five years. And despite the horrors and headlines of stranger abduction—this year it’s the Cleveland kidnappings; a few years ago it was Jaycee Lee Dugard—confirmed cases are so rare (perhaps 100 or so a year) that the odds of your child being kidnapped and murdered stand at about 1.5 million to one.
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http://www.psmag.com/culture/the-kids-really-are-all-right-58651/
 
PhDeac said:
All sides have lawyers.
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Defense lawyers only win when plaintiffs' lawyers win first. If juries wouldn't give such big verdicts for ridiculous shit, companies wouldn't have to hire defense lawyers to help them figure out how to put a disclaimer on a coffee cup warning that the coffee is hot. It's the same principle at work here.
 
deacphan said:
tht's fucking weird
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Billy Graham's staff would enter and check his hotel room before he entered. Several times they would find naked women and photographers in there. If you are a politician or clergy, there are some people out to get you. Why risk your reputation/marriage/freedom/job effectiveness with a "he said/she said" case?

Another example that happened in my neighborhood. A 14 yo girl was with her family at the pool. She walked by and talked to a male neighbor sitting by the pool. She went to her parents and said "he asked me to have sex with him!" Parents called the cops. He denied it. No one overheard what was said. The neighborhood was split on who they believed. Huge tension in the neighborhood, and drama in his family life. As a "he said/she said" case, it didn't go to court; but the guy's family eventually moved, as did others who couldn't take the neighborhood strife. Either he did it, or one crazy attention seeking girl almost ruined his life.
 
awaken said:
Billy Graham's staff would enter and check his hotel room before he entered. Several times they would find naked women and photographers in there. If you are a politician or clergy, there are some people out to get you. Why risk your reputation/marriage/freedom/job effectiveness with a "he said/she said" case?

Another example that happened in my neighborhood. A 14 yo girl was with her family at the pool. She walked by and talked to a male neighbor sitting by the pool. She went to her parents and said "he asked me to have sex with him!" Parents called the cops. He denied it. No one overheard what was said. The neighborhood was split on who they believed. Huge tension in the neighborhood, and drama in his family life. As a "he said/she said" case, it didn't go to court; but the guy's family eventually moved, as did others who couldn't take the neighborhood strife. Either he did it, or one crazy attention seeking girl almost ruined his life.
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better stay locked up in your house and never have a conversation with a child! why risk it??
 
WakeandBake said:
better stay locked up in your house and never have a conversation with a child! why risk it??
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You are right on the general point of our society being entirely overprotective. But having two adults in a room with children (or having an open door policy with respect to meeting with parishioners) is just good policy. Not because the pastor or adult needs to be protected from temptation (at least not 99.9% of the time) but because it precludes somebody from making up a story and turning everything into a "he said/she said" with no easy resolution.

It is the same with me as a lawyer. I have to write letters all the time putting in writing things that I have already advised my client about on the phone or in person. The sole purpose of doing that is to preclude them from trying to claim I didn't tell them about something if the case ends up going wrong.

If memory serves, you have operated your own businesses along the way. Did you have any employees? If so, can you honestly say you never did anything for the purpose of protecting you and yours from a false claim by an employee?
 
^yes I concede that it is good policy.

Yes we have employees, and on several occasions I worked alone with a 22 year-old who was attractive. I was never tempted. I suppose she could have accused me of something but it never crossed my mind. Perhaps I am naive, but goddamn I would rather be naive than in a constant state of paranoid awareness and insistence that she and I not be alone together without supervision. sheesh
 
WakeandBake said:
I would rather be naive than in a constant state of paranoid awareness and insistence that she and I not be alone together without supervision. sheesh
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It's not that I'm in a constant state of paranoia, but more like I know there are some good safeguards in place to prevent someone with evil intent from acting on it, or to prevent the case of he said/she said, and I have those rules in mind. Lots of jobs have workplace safety rules, this is just one of those.
 
RevDeac06 said:
It's not that I'm in a constant state of paranoia, but more like I know there are some good safeguards in place to prevent someone with evil intent from acting on it, or to prevent the case of he said/she said, and I have those rules in mind. Lots of jobs have workplace safety rules, this is just one of those.
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Hard to believe that any pastor or counselor wouldn't take these precautions. It isn't about losing control. It is about being completely above reproach. You are wise to do so.
 
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