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Coming Out

My cousin, with whom I was pretty close growing up, came out to me after we graduated college. It shocked me at the time, because he had had a girlfriend throughout most of high school and would relate stories about all the hot girls he hooked up with while at UMiami. But I was reminded of what Chris Rock said: "You was playing ball, he was jumping rope. He ain't turned gay, he was gay then!" Yep, pretty much... Didn't matter to me or to his devoutly Catholic immediate family, though.

 
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legacyfan said:
Don't know if this counts, but when I got on FB I found out that three of my high school friends were gay. Two were kind of a shock... one was pretty much confirmation. I had another friend I met at GSA come out MUCH later, and was surprised.
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This happened to me, too, with a guy I was really close to in HS. Apparently, after we graduated he told our whole group of close friends except me, because I was the only Christian. That sucked, but I contacted him to let him know it was cool, and we're fine since.

I've only had one other person come out to me, while I was in law school, and as hurt as I was about my HS friend (of course I realize that he was going through a lot), I felt really good about helping the guy in law school (he was coming out to his very conservative family, which was rough).

I would say that being good friends with a number of gay people has influenced my views.
 
i have had 3 guys come out to me; none were 'surprising'. for me it was a non-issue in terms of how i see them, but i thanked them for trusting me with their honest self and am thankful people feel like they can tell me things like that. i have a few gay friends (men and women both) and while i would be against the amendment anyway, it definitely makes it more personal to know exactly how specific couples/people will be affected.
 
I have never had anyone close to me come out, nor am I close to anyone that is gay (as far as I know). That said, I am opposed to the amendment, but don't really care all that much.
 
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Jeff Fatt said:
I have never had anyone close to me come out, nor am I close to anyone that is gay (as far as I know). That said, I am opposed to the amendment, but don't really care all that much.
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Cant remember that far back, but I know you were friends with the one Frat bro of ours that came out and whom I referred to in my above post. I thought, in fact, that he may be your big brother.
 
RollTheQuad06 said:
I wouldn't be For it no matter what, even if all my friends were straight, but I care more strongly on the Against side when I consider specific friends and the impacts it could/would have on them.
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i think this is me. you can be convicted about something all along, but as soon as it's personal, it is WAY different.
 
I think the biggest thing that people are scared of is their friends/family reactions to it and I would want to tell any potentially homosexual friends that they don't need to feel that way. Being a homosexual no more defines the person that you are than being a heterosexual defines who I am. I would be honored if somebody came out to me because that means they are trusting in me something that they have (presumably) masked and kept secret for their entire life.
 
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DirtySouthDeacon said:
Cant remember that far back, but I know you were friends with the one Frat bro of ours that came out and whom I referred to in my above post. I thought, in fact, that he may be your big brother.
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Thats true, and he's a good guy. But I wouldn't consider myself close to him considering I haven't spoken with him in close to 20 years. Damn we're getting old.
 
Deacsfan27 said:
I think the biggest thing that people are scared of is their friends/family reactions to it and I would want to tell any potentially homosexual friends that they don't need to feel that way. Being a homosexual no more defines the person that you are than being a heterosexual defines who I am. I would be honored if somebody came out to me because that means they are trusting in me something that they have (presumably) masked and kept secret for their entire life.
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It is unknown how far their magical abilities extend. Dwarf magic is very powerful and mysterious, primarily because dwarves are masters of keeping secrets. In fact, they specialize in secrets.
They usually keep to themselves and only share their names with other dwarves. However, if a dwarf extends friendship to another creature, he will be a fierce and loyal ally for life.
 
This is something I've kept for years and T suggested I share it:

From:tsywake
Subject:RE: Need your opinion
Sent:4/15/2008*2:43*PM*EDT
Delete Reply Prev. Message Next Message
You're welcome.* I could sense a little trepedation in your original email, but could tell it was something you really wanted to say.* Had I got the feeling you really didnt want it to be known, I'd have probably tried to talk you out of it.* I've actually been pretty impressed with the vast majority of the posters.* They may just be blowing smoke since they're on a message board, but to the majority of them, they seem like they could care less.* I'm sure there are others, so maybe you're blazing a path for them to follow?
*


From: DieHardDeacon
Sent: 4/15/2008

BTW, thanks for giving me the confidence to do it.*

From: tsywake
Sent: 4/15/2008

I'm sure.* I cant relate to what you're going through, but I really dont think it'll be much of an issue.* Its not like you're going to act any differently now, and everybody loved being around you before.* I think for some it was a shock, but it really shouldnt matter.* Being gay is much more mainstream now, and I think people are much more comfortable with the idea now.* Had you revealed it, say back in the 90's, you'd have probably elicited a different reaction.
*


From: DieHardDeacon
Sent: 4/15/2008
Still a little nervous...I would hate to feel allienated at tailgates and basketball etc...* I've never made a secret about it but don't want it to be a reason why people that I have interacted with in the past to now act differently.* Overall, I dont think that would happen but its always something on my mind.

From: tsywake
Sent: 4/15/2008
So after revealing that on the boards, how do you feel?*
*
*


From: DieHardDeacon
Sent: 4/15/2008
Hey Travis,

I need your opinion on something.* I want to post this on the WF accepting a gay player thread but am suprisingly nervous about it.* Do you think its ok to post?


It would be a topic of discussion for a while just because of its rarity for an openly gay athlete in college but would disappear as other, more interesting topics come up.* I'm sure we would hear the chants and jabs from other schools*but IMHO, you would see the WF family be supportive and even protective of one of our own.* Almost like when you were a kid - it was ok to fight among your friends but let no outsider come in and cause a problem.* Today, it is a vastly different world from just 15 years ago when I came out.* People in general are much more knowledgeable than they were in the 80s and early 90s.* I still have hesitations about being open about my sexuality but all those that know me, know that I do not hide it either.* Those in the WF community that I know, went to school with, and/or associate with have been very good to me and it has never been an issue.* To them and to me, I’m just another Deac!
 
DieHardDeacon said:
This is something I've kept for years and T suggested I share it:

From:tsywake
Subject:RE: Need your opinion
Sent:4/15/2008*2:43*PM*EDT
Delete Reply Prev. Message Next Message
You're welcome.* I could sense a little trepedation in your original email, but could tell it was something you really wanted to say.* Had I got the feeling you really didnt want it to be known, I'd have probably tried to talk you out of it.* I've actually been pretty impressed with the vast majority of the posters.* They may just be blowing smoke since they're on a message board, but to the majority of them, they seem like they could care less.* I'm sure there are others, so maybe you're blazing a path for them to follow?
*


From: DieHardDeacon
Sent: 4/15/2008

BTW, thanks for giving me the confidence to do it.*

From: tsywake
Sent: 4/15/2008

I'm sure.* I cant relate to what you're going through, but I really dont think it'll be much of an issue.* Its not like you're going to act any differently now, and everybody loved being around you before.* I think for some it was a shock, but it really shouldnt matter.* Being gay is much more mainstream now, and I think people are much more comfortable with the idea now.* Had you revealed it, say back in the 90's, you'd have probably elicited a different reaction.
*


From: DieHardDeacon
Sent: 4/15/2008
Still a little nervous...I would hate to feel allienated at tailgates and basketball etc...* I've never made a secret about it but don't want it to be a reason why people that I have interacted with in the past to now act differently.* Overall, I dont think that would happen but its always something on my mind.

From: tsywake
Sent: 4/15/2008
So after revealing that on the boards, how do you feel?*
*
*


From: DieHardDeacon
Sent: 4/15/2008
Hey Travis,

I need your opinion on something.* I want to post this on the WF accepting a gay player thread but am suprisingly nervous about it.* Do you think its ok to post?


It would be a topic of discussion for a while just because of its rarity for an openly gay athlete in college but would disappear as other, more interesting topics come up.* I'm sure we would hear the chants and jabs from other schools*but IMHO, you would see the WF family be supportive and even protective of one of our own.* Almost like when you were a kid - it was ok to fight among your friends but let no outsider come in and cause a problem.* Today, it is a vastly different world from just 15 years ago when I came out.* People in general are much more knowledgeable than they were in the 80s and early 90s.* I still have hesitations about being open about my sexuality but all those that know me, know that I do not hide it either.* Those in the WF community that I know, went to school with, and/or associate with have been very good to me and it has never been an issue.* To them and to me, I’m just another Deac!
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I am going to go find tsywake and give some pos rep.
 
DieHardDeacon said:
This is something I've kept for years and T suggested I share it
Click to expand...

Once I found out he still had the PMs I asked him to post it, since this was a pretty big deal for him. While we all knew long before that (some of us he had talked to beforehand), there were still quite a few who it was news to. To be honest, we as his friends could care less if he were gay, straight, or bi. As I mentioned in the PM to him, we all enjoyed being around him because of who he is, not what he is. I do think the acceptance of gays in society has greatly changed in the last 20 years. It is more mainstream, and as people have been exposed to it more frequently, they are growing more comfortable with it. I'm seeing a great change in the mentality from my parents generation to ours.
 
I've never had any friends or relatives come out as gay. I know of a few guys from high school that have come out or maybe even came out in high school, but they were all the type that not only did you always think they were gay but you'd have been shocked if they weren't gay. I know of two aquaintences from Wake who I have heard have since come out as gay (I didn't suspect either of them as being gay and at least one of them was fairly surprising, although in retrospect I can't recall either ever being with a girl so it kind of makes sense) but I can't say that I've seen or spoken to either since I graduated in '05 (not because they are gay, but because I just haven't seen them).
 
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