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Meeting your future spouse at a bar

ilovewfu

ilovewfu

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What are people's thoughts on meeting one's future husband/wife at a bar? I'm just curious if people go out to bars expecting to meet anyone serious. I know a lot of couples that met when going out one night, maybe hooked up, maybe didn't, but eventually dated. It's not very romantic, but in my circle of friends at least, it seems like the place where most of my buddies meet girls. It's also just an easier way to break the ice than almost anything else.

I guess I'm curious about this b/c I'm moving to D.C. soon and I've never really dated outside of a college/law school situation. I find this stuff fascinating.
 
FYI, I'm not saying I'm trying to get into anything serious. I'm not. This is purely a question of curiosity. Is it respectable to begin a serious relationship by drunkenly meeting at a bar?
 
So do you already know that she is your future spouse before you meet her?
 
Think he's saying concerned about meeting an LTR type of person in the bar scene. I reconnected with my (now) wife in a bar but we had known each other years before. I could never operate in the bar scene so that would've been a no-go for me, personally.
 
After college I met quite a few women at the bar, but nothing ever came of it. Most of them were either interested in one night stands, or just coming from a relationship and werent interested in anything long term. Just from my personal experience, I wouldnt have the expectation of finding a soulmate at a bar.
 
I think a single guy who goes to places seeking only what he expects he will find will end up sorely disappointed.
 
tsywake said:
After college I met quite a few women at the bar, but nothing ever came of it. Most of them were either interested in one night stands, or just coming from a relationship and werent interested in anything long term. Just from my personal experience, I wouldnt have the expectation of finding a soulmate at a bar.
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That's pretty much my assumption of any guy getting chatty at a bar. I don't know where one would go to meet people who are interested in relationships, but I unfortunately don't think it's at bars. Which is a shame because I don't know where else one should go. That said, I don't think there's anything wrong with meeting people that way.
 
i feel like the most "dating potential" guys I meet are usually through friends, and not like a formal set-up, but more like at a friend's birthday party outing, or maybe at someone's backyard cookout. that sorta thing. Someone with whom I share some sort of mutual acquaintance with usually winds up being more than a one-time thing.
 
dashionista said:
i feel like the most "dating potential" guys I meet are usually through friends, and not like a formal set-up, but more like at a friend's birthday party outing, or maybe at someone's backyard cookout. that sorta thing. Someone with whom I share some sort of mutual acquaintance with usually winds up being more than a one-time thing.
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Yep. Outings with friends = dates; Bars = hoodrats.
 
I know 4 or 5 couples who met at the bar I go to who were married within the past year.

My brother married a girl he met at a bar.

My good friend married a girl he met at a bar (and a DC bar to boot...actually, Rosslyn bar, IIRC).

But generally speaking, the girls I've met at bars seem a bit more likely to be headcases or (surprise, surprise) drunks than the ones you might meet elsewhere. Of course, I don't meet them anywhere else besides bars, so I really am not in a position to compare.
 
real life example: the only guy i've ever been out "on a date" with after just meeting at a bar one time previously with no other type of mutual acquaintance showed up to our date half drunk after going to a tequila tasting right before. he also bragged about his DUI about 10 minutes into the date. not a winner.
 
i feel like once you get out of the college setting, there's this awkward flailing period of 'how do i meet people?!' bars are the go-to, because they're social... but think about how you met people in college. you (presumably) did not know them ahead of time- you got to know eachotehr through classes, clubs/organizations, mutual friends, and possibly a drunken party.
I think figuring out what the 'adult version' is of these things is a good way to go. Dipping the pen in company ink isn't a good idea, but maybe a work happy hour including other friends. Join an interest club, go to the social events, join a church, get involved in some kind of committee, take a class somewhere. Expand your web. Obviously meeting someone at a bar is an option, but figuring out you already have a mutual interest (aside from drinking) can be nice, too.
 
nothing wrong with meeting a significant other at a bar. or anyone for that matter. living in and around dc happy hours are huge. there is a real happy hour culture in most workplaces i have been around. it's not just young twenty somethings out of school. it's also single 35-40 year olds. usually different places to be sure.

i think the key to meeting people is not expecting to. just being out with friends and being open to meeting their friends, co-workers etc. have fun and all that. if someone seems more interesting than a normal hook up potential have a mutual friend invite them to another happy hour or something. i have been in the nova/dc area for the last 10 years and my friends have all met their significant others at a variety of places -bars, dating website, work, friend of friend, i even have a buddy that met his wife for the first time over a game of flip cut 5 or 6 years ago.
 
deaconson said:
nothing wrong with meeting a significant other at a bar. or anyone for that matter. living in and around dc happy hours are huge. there is a real happy hour culture in most workplaces i have been around. it's not just young twenty somethings out of school. it's also single 35-40 year olds. usually different places to be sure.

i think the key to meeting people is not expecting to. just being out with friends and being open to meeting their friends, co-workers etc. have fun and all that. if someone seems more interesting than a normal hook up potential have a mutual friend invite them to another happy hour or something. i have been in the nova/dc area for the last 10 years and my friends have all met their significant others at a variety of places -bars, dating website, work, friend of friend, i even have a buddy that met his wife for the first time over a game of flip cut 5 or 6 years ago.
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SPOUSAL ABUSE!
 
Met my spouse in a bar. It turns out she barely drinks. If you are young and single and looking to meet people, I dont see why its such a big deal to go to an establishment where young/single people tend to hang out.

Not everyone meets their significant other at Sunday school or in a flower shop.
 
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