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Thank You, Jeff [Redacted]!

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GoDeacs1834

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Thank You, Jeff [Redacted]!

Every year, Senior Night is one of the most emotional events on the college basketball calendar. On this night, fans are encouraged to pay tribute to the people who have given four years of service to their beloved program.
OG Boards, tonight is Head Coach Jeff [Redacted]’s senior night. In honor of his last game at the Joel Coliseum, I feel it is high time to step back and reflect on the past four years.

I hope, at the end of the day, Wake Forest fans will always remember that the Deacs improved each year under Coach [Redacted]. After eight wins [Redacted]’s freshman year, the Deacs posted back-to-back-to-back double-digit win seasons over the next three years, jumping from 13 wins in Year 2 and Year 3 to 15 wins here in Year 4.
The improvement is unmistakable. In 2011, [Redacted] lost 15 conference games by double digits. In 2012, that number dropped to 10. Last year, the Deacs only suffered 9 double-digit conference losses. With only 3 conference games remaining this season, and only 7 double-digit conference losses to this point, [Redacted] is poised to once again post improvement. I would wager no team in the ACC has improved more over the past 4 years than Wake Forest. Let’s take a minute to look back at some of the most memorable achievements of [Redacted]’s career in Winston-Salem.

[Redacted]’s Freshman Year: A Conference Victory

I think we all knew we had a special coach on our hands by the end of [Redacted]’s very first game. Many fans were alarmed about hiring a coach who went 36-58 at Colorado (10-38 in conference play), but the 79-point offensive explosion in his Wake Forest debut against Stetson certainly eased some concerns. During that first season, [Redacted] demonstrated his competitive fight. After a convincing home loss to Winthrop, the Deacs responded the very next night with a dominant win over Marist. Similarly, after being throttled by UNC-Wilmington a few weeks later, Wake Forest fought back and earned a tight win in their next game, a battle with UNC-Greensboro for Triad supremacy.
This resolve carried over into conference play. After losing his first five conference games – by 21, 19, 29, 35, and 24 points, respectively – [Redacted] responded with an emphatic 5-point win over Virginia. Even during the 11-game losing streak to end the season immediately following the Virginia win, the Deacs never gave up. In fact, in one of those 11 games, [Redacted] held the margin of loss to under 10 points.
While the Deacs certainly struggled in conference play, I’ll always remember [Redacted] grinding his way to a 7-8 non-conference record in his first year. To win almost half of those games – against a non-conference schedule that nearly ranked in the top 300 nationally – after inheriting only 5 top 100 recruits – is nothing short of remarkable. As a result, Wake Forest fans knew it was only a matter of time before the Deacs began to flex their muscle in conference play as well.

[Redacted]’s Sophomore Year: Multiple Conference Victories in the Same Season

On the back of that 8-win season – which included an ACC win – [Redacted] was able to sign a signature 3-man recruiting class of Chase Fischer, Daniel Green, and Anthony Fields. While none of the three managed to play a meaningful minute for the Deacs this season, this recruiting class proved that [Redacted] could in fact convince prospective student-athletes to play for Wake Forest.
Deacon fans knew that this group was going to be counted on immediately, as [Redacted] had to overcome significant attrition due to off-the-court incidents following his inaugural season. In the face of this adversity, [Redacted] started his sophomore campaign 3-0 – the team’s best start since 2010. While [Redacted]’s magical start to the season abruptly came to an end (Wake Forest lost to Dayton by 4, and then to Arizona State by 28 the next day), there were a number of notable accomplishments throughout the year. After a disappointing loss to Wofford, [Redacted] once again demonstrated his tenacity, recording a win over Virginia Tech which ushered the Deacs into the double-digit win club on the season. This was the first of not one, not two, not three, but four conference wins on the season. Think about this: no other ACC school quadrupled their conference win total at any point over the past four years. [Redacted]’s 2nd year also saw Dino Gaudio-recruit CJ Harris earn All-ACC Honors, the only Demon Deacon to do so under [Redacted].
Perhaps the most impressive accomplishment during [Redacted]’s sophomore year was his road win at Boston College. After losing his first 10 conference road games, many Wake Forest fans openly wondered if the coaching staff might be part of the problem. [Redacted] swiftly put those concerns to rest, notching a resounding 15 point win over a Boston College squad which won four conference games of their own that season.

[Redacted]’s Junior Year: Another Top 10 Finish in the ACC

Despite another round of attrition, hopes were high entering [Redacted]’s junior year. For one thing, [Redacted]’s 2nd recruiting class, the self-titled “Sensational Seven,” included multiple ACC caliber players. As a result, the Deacs were picked 10th in the preseason media poll, their highest placing in any of [Redacted]’s four years. Under [Redacted]’s guidance, the Deacs delivered on their potential (and then some!), claiming a tie for ninth place in the final conference standings. This marked the Deacs’ 2nd consecutive top-10 finish in the ACC standings.
As expected, [Redacted] delivered a number of notable highs in his junior season. The Deacs once again defeated High Point and UNC-Greensboro, thus cementing their status as the Triad’s premier basketball program. And who can forget the fight he instilled in the team during the Iona game? Down 41-5 in the middle of the first half, the Deacs rallied to post a respectable 94-68 defeat against their MAAC opponent. This ability to bounce back, even when the going gets tough, is what separates [Redacted] from a number of his counterparts. Case in point: the [Redacted] Year 3 Demon Deacons managed to avoid a losing streak of 5 games or more the entire season – no other Demon Deacon team in the past four years has accomplished that feat. It’s also important to give [Redacted] credit for doing his part to help increase ACC attendance. By losing all nine of his conference road games, [Redacted] ensured that nine other fanbases would leave the arena happy.

[Redacted]’s Senior Year: Undefeated against mid-majors

By [Redacted]’s senior year, expectations among the Demon Deacon faithful reached almost unfathomable heights. Many fans expected a postseason appearance, some going as far as to dream about making the NCAA Tournament. While this was obviously far too much to ask for, [Redacted] delivered a number of memorable triumphs. Of course, I have to start with the road win at Virginia Tech, which broke a streak of 17 consecutive conference road losses. As a result, even if [Redacted] loses his last conference road game (Saturday @ Miami), his career ACC road win percentage will still exceed 5%. It’s important to remember how hard it is to win multiple conference road games; for example, Hall of Famer Jim Boeheim did not win his 2nd ACC road game until January 13th of this year.
In some ways, this season will be memorable for what didn’t happen: [Redacted] did not lose a single game against a team from a non-power conference. Again, the improvement cannot be missed or overstated. After his first three years featured losses to teams from the Atlantic Sun, CAA, Big South, WCC, A10, Southern, and MAAC, it’s great to see that this year, all of Wake Forest’s losses have been to major conference programs.
In some ways, it’s fitting that [Redacted]’s last game at the Joel is against Duke. This provides him with the possibility of an incredible crowning achievement: with a win tonight against Duke, [Redacted] will hit the trifecta – he already has won a game against North Carolina State and North Carolina. It surely would not be a shock for [Redacted] to complete the career triangle sweep – out of his six losses to Duke over the past four years, only four of them have been by 18 or more points.

Summary: An Unforgettable Coaching Career

Obviously, no career can hit every milestone. It’s unfortunate that [Redacted] never had the opportunity to coach in the NCAA Tournament or NIT. And sure, the winless record in the ACC Tournament is a bit of a sore spot among Wake Forest fans who think we should win a postseason game more than 0 times every 4 years. But overall, I think we can all agree that much was accomplished during [Redacted]’s four year reign. Here’s a quick rundown of some of the most notable…

[Redacted]’s Crowning Accomplishments at Wake Forest:
• Won over 40% of all games (49 career victories)
• Won over 20% of his conference games (16 career conference victories)
• Won over 10% of all games in February & March (6 late-season victories)
• Won over 5% of his conference road games (2 conference road victories)
• Finished top 10 in the ACC in 2 of his 4 seasons
• Potentially could finish with a winning overall record in 1 of his 4 seasons
• Won at least 1 conference game in every season
• Never lost a game in the NCAA Tournament
• 4th winningest coach in Wake Forest Men’s Basketball history (modern era, since 1985)
• 2nd winningest Wake Forest Men’s Basketball Coach during my undergraduate years (2008-2012)
• Recorded wins over 10 of 14 conference opponents

All in all, I expect tonight to be emotional. As the final seconds tick off the clock, I sincerely hope Wake Forest fans have the courage to show their feelings for Coach [Redacted] during his last game at the Joel. He deserves a proper send-off. Let’s see to it that he knows how much he means to us. I hope to see you all at the game, and as always, Go Deacs!
 
Does Bzzzz get one of his ties in a frame tonight to honor him before he gets booted out the door?
 
Looks like we have another graduate of the re-education camp!

Hi DeaconSports!

I just spent a fun-filled week at the Wake Forest sports reeducation camp, and boy, was it swell. I learned all about the Wake Forest Way, the importance of proper sock length, and why I’ve been so wrong about Premier Wellman and Grand Master Flash [Redacted]. Most significantly, I learned that LOWF doesn’t stand for “Little Ole’ Wake Forest” – it actually stands for “Likable, Obliging Wake Forest!” So being LOWF is a good thing! Because being liked and polite is much more important than competing and being respected. Those kinds of things are for the birds! And for j-e-r-k-s. Tee hee.

Guess who was in my camp class – Dan Collins and RULZ! Dan was there for writing something bad, and not getting approval first. RULZ was there for being “overtly offensive” too much. Dan and I graduated together, but RULZ has to repeat. Something about him knowing no other way to be offensive.

Anyways, it was an action-packed time, and I thought I’d share some notes with all of my e-pals. For six days, we worked the mines for the Athletic Department, i.e. skewing online polls with great silence and greater effectiveness, under the supervision of the Goon Squad, a bunch of former athletes wearing tucked in Polos and khakis that now work for the Athletic Department. The last day though, was class day! They wouldn’t let me blog about it for some reason, but the reeducation camp counselors said it was okay to write about the classes after the fact, contingent upon me sending it to them first. Oops, I knew I forgot to do something!

The Wake Forest Way Part I, with Ron Wellman: Premier Wellman, as he prefers to be called, started the camp with a speech about the Wake Forest Way. And gee whilikers, was it rousing. He talked a lot about culture, tattoos, and street ball. We are a new Wake Forest! We want to be everyone else’s second favorite team! This must happen. And that can’t happen with punks, thugs, and talented athletes on our teams. Someone asked about motorcycles and a jungle and tie-dyes, and Wellman said they’re going to be gone soon, because they aren’t classy and they make other coaches mad. After all, getting that other coach to say nice things after the game matters a lot. We want gym rats, scrappers and hustle plays, not a circus. Then some smartbutt in the front row asked if there were racial undertones in this culture talk, and Wellman said “of course not. That’s a disgusting insinuation. But I wouldn’t have hired Vince Lombardi, either. Go Deacs!”

At the end of his class, he asked us what the Wake Forest Way meant to us. I raised my hand and told him, “malt liquor, ‘No Means No’ signs directed at Shelden Williams, and building up awesome expectations in the regular season only to fold like a Bzzz suit come postseason.” I was subsequently tasered.
Public Relations and Expectations Management, with Jeff [Redacted]: “Hey! You paying attention, buddy!” That’s how Bzzz started his class, but he wasn’t talking to anyone in particular, just staring at the ground and shaking his head. What a crack-up! Then he talked about how it’s important to destroy something, totally and completely. “Why fix it when you can ruin it?” was my favorite quote. In fact, his whole class was about destruction; we actually ran out of time before we got to the reconstruction part! That was really funny.
The next class Bzzz taught was Expectations Management. “It’s absolutely vital,” he told us, “to establish minimal expectations for any job you get. That way, even small successes can be overblown, and those minor improvements will keep you in a position you don’t deserve.”

At this point, Bzzz started mumbling about how everyone hates him because he’s the anti-Skip, and started drooling on himself. A camp counselor intervened, and we broke for lunch. We had Lunchables, the turkey ones with cheese blocks and Capri Suns. It was yummy.

Analyzing Basketball Statistics, with Appetite, Tilt, and a calculator: This class started off with us being told, “None of you will get this class, because you’re stupid and human and stupid and lie.” Numbers don’t lie, though. That was repeated like 400 times! Then there was something about coaches never having records? I thought that part was weird. Then a big Buddha statue was carried out, and we sang and danced around it, calling it kenpom or something. Appetite kept licking its belly.
History of the Eskimo Brother, with a bunch of Wake Forest athletes from every era. Wake’s a small school, you know?
Hating Greeks, with Nathan O. Hatch: Greeks are short! And smelly! And hairy! RULZ was good at this class. I didn’t know we had so many Greek people at Wake Forest, but Dr. Hatch said so, so it must be true. I mean, Jesus H. Smith, they put Joey Fatone in a movie. What a terrible people.
The Wake Forest Way Part II, with Josh Howard: I don’t remember too much about this class, to be honest. It’s all rather … hazy. I crushed an entire box of Fruity Pebbles afterwards, though! But the guy’s jersey hangs in the rafters, he Pwned Lenox Rawlings in an Iraq War debate, and he actually played in postseason games (!) for us, so I trust he knows the real Wake Forest Way, you know? (Real talk: J-Ho is awesome. If you think this is mocking him, you’re reading it wrong.)
Equivocation, with PhDeac and Demun: This class was easy. Just ask loaded, leading questions and avoid declarative statements that might get you into trouble in the future. Hate on EVERYTHING (Ph) or ANYTHING WITH POPULAR SUPPORT (Demun.) Then Ph and Demun argued about semantics for an hour, and the entire camp class squeezed in a much needed nap.
How to turn the Sprinkler into Corporate Sponsorships, with NazTDeac. Naz rolled up in a new Escalade with tinted windows, blasting Weezy quite audibly. He and his posse got out of the car, flashing gang signs our way, and then he yelled “straight cash, homie” at us. End of class.
How not to Boo Opposing Teams, with our Assistant Athletic Directors: Did you know that some punk undergrad actually yelled at an opposing player in the Joel recently? That’s terrible! And not conducive to our new Wake Forest culture. Lording our academic superiority over other schools, especially when those schools are dominating us in sports, hurts a lot of people’s feelings. Especially especially when those schools are the alma maters of our assistant athletic directors. Don’t be a meanface! Cheer for our academic inferiors and applaud their not attending class!
Whisper Campaigns and Shilling, with the poster Mendacious: When starting salacious rumors about someone, it’s crucial to separate yourself from the source of those rumors, even when you are, in fact, the source of said rumors. This is quite easily done, and probably something we all learned how to do in middle school. All you have to do is include the disclaimers “I heard this,” “this is old news,” and “I thought everyone knew this, already.”
For example: “I heard Mendacious works for the athletic department, even though he claims not to. I mean, it’s old news that he does Premier Wellman’s e-bidding. I thought everyone knew this, already.”
Then I’d post on a bunch of threads acting clueless and in the dark when the fallout occurs a couple weeks later.

Easy, right? Oh, and real sweet handle, bro! Like, totally ironical and stuff.
The Wake Forest Way Part III, with Fan Man: After a scrumptious dinner at Subway (some things haven’t changed), we had a very special guest speaker – Fan Man! He paraglided in with two Swedish supermodel twins. It was Boss. Then he yelled incoherently into a microphone and we clapped our hands and got excited. Fan Man was subsequently removed from campus by Wellman’s Goon Squad, because “sweat bands and noise and passion aren't the Wake Forest Way anymore.” Fan Man upset the Monocle Society overlooking us from the Deacon Tower, apparently. (Insert joke about lectro being on the wrong floor of the Deacon Tower here.) The Swedish twins were last seen in the company of Jamaal Levy’s third leg.
Conclusion and Final Exam, with Premier Wellman: Before our final exam, Premier Wellman walked us around an empty Joel Coliseum. It was completely empty and eerily quiet, much quieter than I’d ever seen it before. “Isn’t it beautiful in here?” Premier Wellman whispered. “So classy. So likable. So obliging!”

Just then, the Joel went completely dark! And then a flashing light appeared at the top of the rafters, where the Demon Deacon stood! We started cheering and swaying back and forth, like we’d been taught to do many years before.

“NOOOOOO!” Premier Wellman screamed. “I’m almost done reprogramming them!”

The Demon Deacon hooked himself up to rappel, and pointed at Skip’s banner. We went crazy! We could do it, we thought! We can be the best of the best! We believe in Final Fours and not backing down and going toe to toe with Duke and UNC every year!

When the Demon Deacon finished rappelling and got to the ground, the Goon Squad beat the hell out of him and carried him away. Premier Wellman handed out our tests, which was an interpretive coloring book, because Wake doesn’t believe in standardized testing anymore.

I colored in a little brother wearing Wake colors smiling while his big brothers in blue step on him and punch him and laugh at him. The graders said I did perfect and got a 100%! “You understand the Wake Forest Way,” they told me.

Five minutes later, while I waited for the rest of the class to finish the test, a mascot with a modified Deacon head walked out of the locker room. They’d removed the Deacon’s smile and dulled out his eyes a bit, and someone had attached an extraneous layer of fat to his chin area. It looked like a gobbler. He wore a sweater vest and sat in the front row, crossing his legs, clapping politely, looking both disinterested and above it all.

“Finally,” Premier Wellman mumbled to himself, “we’ve finally taken the Demon out of Deacon.”

Then I signed a bunch of legal waivers and went home.
***

Regarding my temporary ban: to clarify, I was banned for reposting a personal observation of activity on the boards, not for reposting the content of Dan Collins’ since-deleted blog post about “rumors,” as was later suggested. More specifically, I reposted the fact that a poster here had brought the same rumor to our sports board a good two weeks before DC wrote about it, without e-repercussion. I found, and still find, the timing of these posts curious, as they occurred the same week as Ron Wellman’s PR blitz. Further, the poster in question is an admitted Wake Forest employee, and I’ve since learned he’s been PMing the same rumor to posters without provocation.
In my best Joe Friday voice from Dragnet, “Just the facts, ma’am.”


By repeatedly reposting these observations after a mod deleted it, I was deliberately being antagonistic, and it was certainly within this moderator’s parameters to ban me for such an action. However, when pressed by other posters about my ban, a moderator and a senior writer on this forum suggested I reposted the entire contents of Dan’s article – something not only incorrect, but borderline intellectually dishonest. (Unless I misread the nature of their posts. And I certainly hope I did.) That’s all I have to say about that.

***
Oh yeah, here are some random asterisks for the mods, in case Premier Wellman is disturbed by satire. ***. With authority. And such.
In case someone accuses me of taking the Internetz too seriously, here’s a link (View)
to a Party in the USA remix with Notorious B.I.G.
Oh yeah, someone should save this. No telling how long until it’s deleted.
#BUZZOUT, Free Deacvision7, and Go Deacs.
 
Well done, sir. LOL

This resolve carried over into conference play. After losing his first five conference games – by 21, 19, 29, 35, and 24 points, respectively – [Redacted] responded with an emphatic 5-point win over Virginia. Even during the 11-game losing streak to end the season immediately following the Virginia win, the Deacs never gave up. In fact, in one of those 11 games, [Redacted] held the margin of loss to under 10 points.
Click to expand...
 
I wish I could share with you his achievements in the sack!
 
Thank you Jeff [Redacted] for making sure I'm not distracted by Wake Forest Basketball during tax season the last 4 years, made more much more productive!!!
 
so much gold I'll just pick two

GoDeacs1834 said:
I'll always remember [Redacted] grinding his way to a 7-8 non-conference record in his first year. To win almost half of those games – against a non-conference schedule that nearly ranked in the top 300 nationally – after inheriting only 5 top 100 recruits – is nothing short of remarkable. As a result, Wake Forest fans knew it was only a matter of time before the Deacs began to flex their muscle in conference play as well.

After losing his first 10 conference road games, many Wake Forest fans openly wondered if the coaching staff might be part of the problem. [Redacted] swiftly put those concerns to rest, notching a resounding 15 point win over a Boston College squad which won four conference games of their own
Click to expand...
 
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