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The Pit Parenting Thread

Deacon92 said:
So in the feeling bad for myself category.

Oldest is 13 year old male, outside of a broken bone or two no issues beyond the norm. Came back from NC for Thanksgiving and he as been sick as a dog. 3 trips to ER, multiple trips to pediatrician, peds neurosurgeon for consult 2x. Each step forward uncovers something else. Peds questions why neuro did or didn't do x.. Wife doesn't have FMLA coverage yet, so I may be taking the time if we can't figure out what's going on. Worried about him repeating a grade. Me taking the time from work. Deductibles resetting with the new year.

I go home early yesterday and he is curled on the recliner, no lights, no TV. His eyes tearing up because he hurts.

Frustration is looking in the crying eyes of your teenager not knowing how to make him better, not really knowing any magic next step, and realizing the stuff I was stressing about wasn't helping him at all.

End feeling bad for myself post.
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Sorry to hear this. On the insurance front, check to see if you have "4th quarter carryover" which takes expenses from Q4 and also applies them to the next year's deductible. Not an uncommon feature in plans.
 
CDeacMan said:
My 8 month old has had a sleep regression and it's been pretty tough the last few weeks. From probably around 3 months to 6 months baby slept pretty well through the night; would go down between 7-7:30, and sleep all the way until 5-5:30 with minimal wakeups during the night. Now there are usually multiple cries with varying degrees of being awake (so ranging from just letting baby fuss for a few minutes and doing nothing to getting baby up and feeding/rocking for 30-45 minutes) and the full wakeup time is somewhere in the 4 am neighborhood. Baby is still sleeping in the crib in our bedroom. We're trying to follow the general advice from various books/sites about sleeping, but I guess now we are coming to the point where we'll have to make some decisions regarding the sleep training (cry-it-out vs. immediate attention) after being spoiled for several months. Anything anyone tried that worked in similar circumstances? Or maybe just tell me someday I'll get to sleep a full night again?
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We did this training I think called the happy sleeper

But the baby is in their own room and you only come in after five minutes of continuous crying with a standard saying (ours is "its time for sleeping, I'm right outside, I love you") and you do these five min waves until they calm down

Will never tell a parent how to parent, but might be time to consider moving your little human to their own room
 
I have 3 kids, all now over 21.
My wife nursed each around 10 months. During that time frequently the child slept between us. Ain't nothing like waking and seeing mom and child asleep, one with milk dripping out and the other with milk in the corners of the mouth.
My youngest slept between us till she was 6 or 7.
Do whatever you think works for your kids. None of the books I read about child rearing helped us at all except one about basic medical stuff like fevers, throwing up, the runs.
 
On my second kid now, both were in their own room from the day we got them home from the hospital. #1 was a better sleeper earlier, but at 4 months our current little guy is sleeping from 9:30-10:00 until 7AM, with maybe two or three very brief cries during the night. Sometimes he takes a bit longer to go to sleep than others, but every day can be an adventure at that age. Just proves that every child and family is different, and no one will know your child better than you in these matters. They are resilient little things, and if something doesn't work, you can always change it back.
 
CHDeac said:
Sorry to hear this. On the insurance front, check to see if you have "4th quarter carryover" which takes expenses from Q4 and also applies them to the next year's deductible. Not an uncommon feature in plans.
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Thanks. (and to everyone else).

He is also doing much better and looking forward to getting back to school. (so he says).
 
CDeacMan said:
Thanks. I think various authorities and our pediatricians are recommending keeping the baby in our room for a year, but at this rate we might advance that timeline to now
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06deacon said:
I don’t think we made it much past 6 months in the room for either of mine. Once they were rolling well I felt better about it, plus they never slept on their backs anyway.
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leftcoastdeac said:
My kids were both out of my room around 6 months as well.
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Six to twelve months ? WTF ? 2-3 months tops and GTFO !
 
We’re about a week over 3 months, and I’m ready for the move. My wife OTOH seems to spend a considerably larger portion of her day contemplating scenarios that are going to kill our child, so she wants to wait until 6 months at least.
 
We had our first kid in the room with us for about a week until we decided that just didn't work for us.

#2 and #3 were in own room from day one.

They've all been good sleepers, but #3 (~4 months) is still not quite all the way through the night... Some nights 5am (great!) some nights 1am (less great!). But these things aren't linear... He'll get there. Soon, hopefully.

The bigger issue we've had with this one has been naps. He hasn't been able to put himself to sleep without rocking until very recently. We've started to let him cry for about 5 minutes and that's usually long enough to where he'll pass out. Our first two kids loved naps and this guy doesn't seem to... But it is still early.
 
I have a 7-month old still in our room. My wife is a physician so wants to go with the guidelines of 12 months. Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of leverage on this one.
 
TBDeac said:
I have a 7-month old still in our room. My wife is a physician so wants to go with the guidelines of 12 months. Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of leverage on this one.
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Our pediatrician wasn’t real high on the guidelines which aren’t exactly from a controlled study (how could you do one anyway?). The two biggest correlations with SIDS seem to be smoking and socio-economic status. I totally get being uneasy about going against the guidelines given the consequences. You gotta do what works for you.
 
TBDeac said:
I have a 7-month old still in our room. My wife is a physician so wants to go with the guidelines of 12 months. Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of leverage on this one.
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She's a doctor, not a god, no matter what she wants you to think.

Our son slept with us for a couple of days, then he slept in his own room.
 
Our son has been in his own room since Day 1. In the early days my wife slept in the guest room with the monitor. As of this weekend, our guidelines say to keep him in his room with no feedings and let him workout any fussiness.
 
are all of these "kid is not in room from day 1" families breast fed or formula kids
 
mdmh baby is 9months now and has been sleeping in her own room since month 3. She still requires 2 attempts to go down almost every night, but is always asleep by 8:30 and sleeps till 7 or 8
 
ImTheCaptain said:
are all of these "kid is not in room from day 1" families breast fed or formula kids
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Breast, but my wife also pumps milk. In the early weeks, I would take the overnight feeding (around 2AM) and feed with a bottle. Letting her get a solid 5-6 hours of overnight sleep early on was very important to everyone's health and sanity.

Honestly not sure how kid in room or kid not in room really affects the mother's ability to sleep. Either way, they would need to wake up to feed for the first couple months.
 
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