• Welcome to OGBoards 10.0, keep in mind that we will be making LOTS of changes to smooth out the experience here and make it as close as possible functionally to the old software, but feel free to drop suggestions or requests in the Tech Support subforum!

What are the funniest things that you have witnessed?

yodeacsgo

yodeacsgo

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 20, 2011
Messages
1,248
Reaction score
71
I'll start off with 3 of the hardest laughs I've ever had.

#1. I was playing Cranium with my wife and in-laws. The father in-law was acting out "Rolling Stones" and decided to roll into a tumble as a clue. Halfway through the tumble, he unleashes a massive fart. My stomach hurt for days from laughter.

#2. I was slightly pyro when I was younger. A friend and I were spraying butane into a toilet and tossing matches into it for small explosions. We get the awesome idea of closing the lid, pump in the butane, then slide in a lit match. I opted to be the audience for this trick. My friend pumped in the butane and kept trying to strike a match. The damn thing wouldn't light. By the time he got it lit, the butane had risen out of the toilet. There was an immediate boom when he lit the match. I asked him if he was okay and I got a yes. He then started whiffing and asked if I smelled something burning. He turned around toward me and his hair was on fire. I immediately tossed a towel over his head and then fell down laughing. His mom arrived home from work less than 20 seconds after the hair fire and saw me rolling on the floor hysterically laughing and said, "I don't even want to know what just happened." She got back in her car and left. That caused more laughter.

#3 BY FAR THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. This was also witnessed by KnightAtWake. 2 part story. Part 1 - We had a German roommate that loved the hell out of orange juice. We all had wooden wardrobes in our bedrooms to store clothing. He also used his to store the cardboard jugs of OJ. Several times we tried to tell him that OJ in the US has to be kept in the fridge or it would spoil. He didn't listen. Over spring break, when the AC was turned off, the OJ bottles in his wardrobe exploded and soured all over his clothing. He had to wash everything, mop, and air out his room for days. Slightly funny, but you needed to understand his anger toward orange juice to explain the hilarity of part 2.

Part 2 - KAW, the German roommate, and I all went to Walmart for supplies. The German, I keep saying German because that fact is VERY important, proceeded to the juice isle to replenish his supply. After gathering what I needed, I walked over the the juice isle to find him. Upon turning the corner, I see a bottle of OJ slip from his hand and explode on the ground at his feet. All of a sudden, in a very thick German accent, he starts yelling "DAMN JUICE, DAMN JUICE, DAMN JUICE!" I'm pretty sure I mentally checked out for a while. I remember gasping and then collapsing. The next thing I remember is climbing out of KAW's car back at the dorm with no purchases. I have absolutely no memory of leaving the store.
 
I know there's more I can't think of but Nonny at the 1st Bob's eating contest was a quality moment and the first thing that came to mind.
 
My mother, while walking from the beautiful fountain near the Olympic Stadium in Barcelona, tripped and stumbled for probably 50 feet before finally face-planting. It happened in slo-mo and was so funny I almost wet myself.
 
Looking at craigslist on Saturday night with GSDIY and finding an ad with a picture of cum toast might not have been the funniest thing I've EVER witnessed, but it was up there.
 
I was sitting in Tribble in English class during one summer session. The windows were open and a bee flew into the classroom. It was an angry bee. The bee kept swooping at people. Class had basically stopped as everyone was trying to avoid this bee. A football player (who will remain anonymous but is now in the NFL) is sitting in front of me and is very, very concerned about this bee. He's trying to be cool about it but I can tell he doesn't want to get stung. The bee swoops at him, he smacks it and in a girlish scream yells "AH, bee!!!" When he hits it the bee goes flying into the girl in front of him and gets lodged in her curly hair. At this point said football player has stood up and left and the girl is freaking out. Finally the bee gets out and is furious. At least half the class was standing trying to dodge this angry bee. Eventually it flies out.
 
kind of small ball here but one nice day not much different from today, while at Wake, I was about to go down the steps to the Mag Quad by Benson. There happened to be a banana peel in front of the door to Benson. I stopped and watched for not even a minute when some girl caught the peel and hit the floor. I laughed pretty hard out loud to myself, having never witnessed that feat in person before.
 
I was visiting a friend at Georgetown and we're drunk. I mean really drunk. So we lose track of my buddy, Anthony, who we were staying with but have his apartment key. I pass out on the couch and Owen, my other friend, passes out on the floor. Around 5am Anthony stumbles in absolutely hammered wearing only boxers. He's making a shit load of noise so I wake up but Owen doesn't. Anthony takes out his dick and proceeds to pee on Owen. I'm stunned. I yell "Dude what the fuck you peed on Owen," Anthony looks at me and said "No, you peed on Owen" then walks out. Owen wakes up, sees that he's soaked in urine and says "O fuck, it happened again."
 
years ago my drinking buddies were walking down the street in Buckhead when there were still all the bars around. My drunken idiot friend sees a bachlorette party and immediately runs up to them. He grabs the penus squirt gun from the bride to be and starts his idiot James Bond impression, "Shaken not stirred, blah blah blah". He then grabs a pacifer around the girl's neck and starts to suck on it. When he pulls it out, he sees it's in the shape of a penis and before we can say anything he turns to us and says "Fuck you". Any time he tried to talk shit in the future was met by an immediate response of "cock sucker".
 
1) From just a few days ago: Some dude who is ostensibly going out to put refill his meter with some change sees that the meter maid is already there. He starts sprinting towards his car yelling, but the meter maid ignores him so he just chucks a quarter at the meter. He made a pretty good throw but he got a ticket anyway.

2) Sophomore year, WFUWaldo tripped over a power cord while in my room and fell towards the open wardrobe. Before he completely fell he managed to hold himself up against the clothes. But they didn't hold his weight so then he completely fell into the closet. It was like a two-part, slow-motion fall.

3) What looked to be a basketball team were trying to catch the bus after grabbing some food from the Jack in the Box across the street. When the bus shows up, one guy is still on the other side of the street. The rest of the team tells the bus driver to hold on while their friend runs across the busy road to get on the bus, but the driver says no, closes the door and starts driving away. The guys all start cursing out the driver, a few of them starts kicking the bus. The dude on the other side of the street then decides to chuck his drink at the bus. Obviously he misses, instead hitting the hood of a car. The drink was full and splatters all over a woman crossing the street. I laughed.
 
your mom?


I'm honestly struggling with this one. Some of you people have fantastic memories.
 
Sophomore year I was living on the Lambda Chi halls. I had mono, so I was taking it really easy. Friday night rolls around and one of my brothers who had finished a really hard exam wants to get hammered. He ropes in two others, and between the three of them they polish off a fifth of Jaquins Peach Brandy and two fifths of Jack Daniels. Then my buddy who had started the whole thing chugs a bottle of Boone's Farm - in literally two gulps. He walks out into the hall, and just starts screaming random obscenities. On the wall were five foot tall painted letters of the fraternity, and he starts humping the Lambda, screaming "Hump the Lambda, Baby. Hump the Lambda." Meanwhile another one of the brothers who had been drinking goes into one of the open rooms (not his) and grabs a nine iron. He then proceeds to tell us he's sober as a moose and wants to go play golf on the Quad. Before he can make good on his endeavor he runs smack into the brother who was humping the Lambda. He goes flying, and the nine iron skitters down the hallway. There were countless other shenanigans that night, including duct-taping the night golfer to a chair. I was so sick, but I have never laughed so freaking hard. Thank god someone had the presence of mind to film that.
 
I once convinced a very drunken KAW to jump in the large water fountain at UNCG fully clothed and doggie paddle. It was February and 3am. He then ran across campus screaming about how cold and wet he was. We were both ripped on Jose gold. Good times.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top