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What are the funniest things that you have witnessed?

Post exams 2004
I was a rising senior and me and 10-12 of my fraternity brothers rented a beach house in North Mrytle. it was 3rd row back from the beach but there was a boat dock on this tidal creek (the creek was way to shallow for a boat, but there was a little dock none the less). Anyway the lot probably isn't more than .15 acres and is almost completely paved. We're hanging out in the back yard drinking our faces off and some of us are drunker than others, one unfortunate soul who was particularly drunk and particularly stupid for some reason got it in his head that he was going to jump off the dock into this tidal creek. Even at high tide this would be a stupid move, but it was dead low tide and there was no water in the creek, just mud and exposed oysters. This was explained ad nasuem to the unfortunate soul, but for some reason he felt compelled to jump off the dock. I had to physically restain him several times because anyone who jumped off this dock could be seriously hurt by the oysters....again, this was explained ad nasuem. Finally I thought the issue had died and the unfortunate soul had come to his senses and he and I were walking away from the dock, we were both walking freely but I had my hand on his shoulder as if to guide him and be able to quickly grab him if he changed his mind (which he did several times before). We got about 20 or 25 ft away from the dock and I took my hand off his shoulder. As soon as I did that, he did an about face, then sprinted and jumped off the dock into the mud/oysters. At least 15 people saw this (everyone we were there with plus a few). Of course, as suspected, he landed and completely cut his feet and legs to shit on the oysters and let out this blood curtling scream that I can only describe as a cross between a terrified woman and a houndog's howl...it's a miracle that he didn't sever any tendons, but I do believe we had to take him to the hospital to get some stitches. At the time i didn't think it was funny because I was annoyed, but just about everyone else pissed themselves laughing at this guy because he's such a retard...thinking back on it now, its extremely funny. For the remaineder of the week he walked around on the sides of his feet (the only parts that didn't get cut up) with toilet paper wrapped all over them wallowing in self pity.
 
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Oh god, thinking about post exams 2010 now gives me a couple stories.

These probably aren't the funniest things I've ever seen happen, but I get a good laugh when thinking about them.

1) fellow Wake student walking around the beach at Myrtle wearing a jellyfish as a hat
2) I didn't explicitly witness this one - I should be so lucky - but Juice doing the dirty on the picnic table next to our house has to be here
 
Oh god, also this.

3) On one of my drunken nights in Myrtle, I was with a friend at a Wake house on the other side of town. He decided he wanted a go with a certain lady there, so I took the cooler containing our beer and proceeded to walk home. Yale was Myrtle at the time, and I stumble upon a house party of theirs quite near to my house and eventual destination. The party was raging, with quite a few drunken Yalies spilling out onto the front yard. Cops come in and bust the place. The two cops get out of the car, start yelling at EVERYONE and lining up all the Yale men against a wall. Cops begin to lecture the guys, yelling at them some, and generally being intimidating. Finally he grabs one of them and tells him to get in the back of the squad car.

As all the women look on in shock, the men are standing against the wall, and the poor kid is getting in the car, the cop starts grinning. He turns to everyone, laughs, and just yells "Just kidding! You kids be safe and have fun. And STAY IN THE HOUSE!" All the dudes along the wall got beat red. Cop punked them good.

Shortly after this I stumbled back to my house to meet up with ILDeac and others. I made it about 3/4 there (about 150 feet) and passed out in a bush.
 
I didn't see all of this, but the story in its entirety is pretty funny to me.

Goofy, but good, guy named Ben, who eventually became a doctor.

Night before his birthday, gets trashed, gets some ugly girl to shack up with him, who eventually sleeps with his best friend.

That night, he wakes up in the middle of the night and pees on the floor. He uses his bath towel to sop it up.

He wakes up in the morning, everyone makes fun of the guy for his buddy robbing his ugly chick. He then takes a shower and dries off . . . with the same towel he peed on in the middle of the night. He allegedly had forgotten all about that.

It's his birthday, so his parents come into town. His mom is way over-protective, way too proud of her only child, and super-annoying and everyone does an impression of her. He goes out to eat, comes back, and plays UNO with them. He was still hungover this entire time, and pukes on the table he was playing UNO at. Mom is pissed and embarrassed, and leaves. On his birthday.

He calls it the worst 24 hours of his life. It would probably be funnier if you knew the guy, but still, what an awful, yet funny 24 hours.
 
Sitting on the beach with a friend and after about 20 minutes of taking off our coverups/towels looking over and realizing she is still in her underwear and never changed into her bathing suit.
 
TexasDeac10 said:
Oh god, also this.

3) On one of my drunken nights in Myrtle, I was with a friend at a Wake house on the other side of town. He decided he wanted a go with a certain lady there, so I took the cooler containing our beer and proceeded to walk home. Yale was Myrtle at the time, and I stumble upon a house party of theirs quite near to my house and eventual destination. The party was raging, with quite a few drunken Yalies spilling out onto the front yard. Cops come in and bust the place. The two cops get out of the car, start yelling at EVERYONE and lining up all the Yale men against a wall. Cops begin to lecture the guys, yelling at them some, and generally being intimidating. Finally he grabs one of them and tells him to get in the back of the squad car.

As all the women look on in shock, the men are standing against the wall, and the poor kid is getting in the car, the cop starts grinning. He turns to everyone, laughs, and just yells "Just kidding! You kids be safe and have fun. And STAY IN THE HOUSE!" All the dudes along the wall got beat red. Cop punked them good.

Shortly after this I stumbled back to my house to meet up with ILDeac and others. I made it about 3/4 there (about 150 feet) and passed out in a bush.
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I remember sitting on the "other" picnic table and explaining to a cop that you, face down in the grass, were just very intoxicated and I would make sure you didn't wander onto the street.
 
TexasDeac10 said:
Oh god, thinking about post exams 2010 now gives me a couple stories.

These probably aren't the funniest things I've ever seen happen, but I get a good laugh when thinking about them.

1) fellow Wake student walking around the beach at Myrtle wearing a jellyfish as a hat
2) I didn't explicitly witness this one - I should be so lucky - but Juice doing the dirty on the picnic table next to our house has to be here
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:wiggle:
 
I've seen numbers dance like that a few times and they are all equally funny. I'll keep my videos of him reserved for a time that he pisses me off.
 
I've still got a video on my phone of TexasDeac after day-drinking a heineken mini keg hitting it with a golf club (which I think got bent) and then generally proceeding to continue making a fool of himself.

I'm tempted to post it, but I'd rather hold it over his head for awhile.
 
ZDeac said:
I've still got a video on my phone of TexasDeac after day-drinking a heineken mini keg hitting it with a golf club (which I think got bent) and then generally proceeding to continue making a fool of himself.

I'm tempted to post it, but I'd rather hold it over his head for awhile.
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this was brilliant. he was at it forever. we went to shortys, had beers, came back, and he was still at it.
 
Juice said:
[/B]

I remember sitting on the "other" picnic table and explaining to a cop that you, face down in the grass, were just very intoxicated and I would make sure you didn't wander onto the street.
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:plos:
 
TexasDeac10 said:
Oh god, also this.

3) On one of my drunken nights in Myrtle, I was with a friend at a Wake house on the other side of town. He decided he wanted a go with a certain lady there, so I took the cooler containing our beer and proceeded to walk home. Yale was Myrtle at the time, and I stumble upon a house party of theirs quite near to my house and eventual destination. The party was raging, with quite a few drunken Yalies spilling out onto the front yard. Cops come in and bust the place. The two cops get out of the car, start yelling at EVERYONE and lining up all the Yale men against a wall. Cops begin to lecture the guys, yelling at them some, and generally being intimidating. Finally he grabs one of them and tells him to get in the back of the squad car.

As all the women look on in shock, the men are standing against the wall, and the poor kid is getting in the car, the cop starts grinning. He turns to everyone, laughs, and just yells "Just kidding! You kids be safe and have fun. And STAY IN THE HOUSE!" All the dudes along the wall got beat red. Cop punked them good.

Shortly after this I stumbled back to my house to meet up with ILDeac and others. I made it about 3/4 there (about 150 feet) and passed out in a bush.
Click to expand...

Why don't cops do shit like this more often? It gets the message across and doesn't fuck up people's lives.
 
I was out to dinner the other night and this little kid maybe about 5 years old pitched a fit for some little kid reason. He began pouting and his mom just ignored him. Finally after a few minutes the kid goes "This pout is tiresome" and was happy again. I LOLed.
 
Caturday said:
Why don't cops do shit like this more often? It gets the message across and doesn't fuck up people's lives.
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No joke. It was a hilarious use of his power. He played tough guy for about 10 minutes, made some poor dudes look like little bitches in front of their girls, and then he just left. Everyone went in the house. Problem solved.
 
Caturday said:
I was out to dinner the other night and this little kid maybe about 5 years old pitched a fit for some little kid reason. He began pouting and his mom just ignored him. Finally after a few minutes the kid goes "This pout is tiresome" and was happy again. I LOLed.
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That is AMAZING! I love when little kids say adult shit like that.
 
My freshman year, Kyle Visser was a junior and was generally crappy on the court. He was getting about 15 minutes a game and shooting pretty poorly most of the season. On top of this (as many of you know), he was basically a douche. One of his favorite pastimes that year involved driving around South Campus with a friend in the passenger seat - this friend would pretend to be unconscious while Visser would roll up to some unsuspecting freshmen imploring to "please help my friend!". The idea was the freshman would approach the passenger window and they'd scare the kid, blare the horn, and speed off. Really childish shit. Shortly after a poor outing, he tries this on my roommate and I. My roommate, about ten feet away from the car says "When you make two baskets in a game, I'll be here to help." Visser has a pretty big middle finger.




Same roommate was out of weed, and his regular dealer was unreachable. He had gotten Trent Strickland's number a while back, and knowing that he dealt, decided he would give him a call. Trent tells my roommate to meet him in the back of the Collins lot at x time. Later that evening, Trent rolls up with his crew in a hotboxed SUV and asks for 60 bones. My roommate hands it over, to which Trent replies "I left my good shit on the other side of campus, I'll be right back". He never got his weed - he was PISSED. Funny story now.




One of my buds got tanked one evening and decided to pee all over his bed. A couple guys walk in on him doing this and try to stop him, but the damage was done. Immediately afterward, another friend says "Dude, you just pissed all over your bed, you idiot," to which wasted friend replies "THAT'S A BOLDFACE LIE!" and then walks out of the room like nothing happened.




I was a freshmen RA, and one of the ways I liked to orient my residents to campus/Winston-Salem was a trip to Cookout. Not unlike others on this board, I talked the place up as a must-have late night meal. One night during freshmen orientation I end up driving 4 guys to cookout for their first time. We go to the Akron cookout, which in general is a suspect place, especially afterhours. The first thing we all see pulling into the parking lot? A couple knocking boots on the hood of a car. Welcome to Wake, guys.
 
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HailToTheDeacons said:
Numbers in a dog cage.

Numbers, wearing only boxers, laying in DF2009's tub waiting to get peed on.
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Numbers.jpg
 
KnightAtWake said:
When I saw the thread title and the person who created the thread I knew the DAMN JEWS story was gonna make an appearance. I'll have to come back later and relate my recent canoe story.
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This had me LOL'ing again. I need to e-follow yodeacs. His office prank thread back on the old board was the thing of legends.
 
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