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You're Fired Stories

I worked for a British-owned company back in the day which gave annual reviews & any raises on April 1st which was the first day of their fiscal year. So one year on April 1st, I went into my manager's office for our normal annual review conversation and she told me that the HR function was being outsourced and today was our five person team's last day of work. I looked at her blankly and thought, "ah, April Fool's joke". Nope, she handed me a severance package, my last check, and said I had the rest of the day to pack up my desk. :rulz:
 
Always funny to me that lawyers call going to school "training"
 
I used to work with a guy in a government office in DC. His wife recently got fired. She was walking with her 2-year-old granddaughter to a mall in the burbs. Rumor is she never really was a fan of her daughter's marriage, so she dropped the child off a pedestrian bridge 50 feet, killing her.

So yeah, she was fired. Maybe soon going to be fired from life.
 
I used to work with a guy in a government office in DC. His wife recently got fired. She was walking with her 2-year-old granddaughter to a mall in the burbs. Rumor is she never really was a fan of her daughter's marriage, so she dropped the child off a pedestrian bridge 50 feet, killing her.

So yeah, she was fired. Maybe soon going to be fired from life.

I remember hearing about this. Makes me sick.
 
The reason given to one of my friends for being fired from a telemarketing job after 2 weeks was that he "sounded gay" over the phone. :wtfgay: :rulz: One of the bigger favors anyone's done for him, however.
 
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My first atty job there was this candy candy hotness 20 year old blonde that was a receptionist at out office. She was dumb as a rock but looked great. A week into my job there she was let go. Apparently she was taking a lot of afternoons off for 'doctor's appts' and in reality she was going to do porn photoshoots. She told one of the younger paralegals that she worked with, and then, of course, in typical female fashion, the first time she pissed that other girl off over something trivial, that girl sent a link to a partner, and *poof*, my little pornstar receptionist was gone.

The REALLY sad part is that I only found out about this after she was gone, and none of the other girls in the office would give me her number at that point. Sad story, I know.

Also, she looked super young and did like diaper porn where she was in these oversized cribs with giant pacifiers, etc. Awesome.
 
I'm on a board of directors that oversees a legal services program. The managing attorney had developed something of a habit popping pills (allegedly) and left his wife and kids and started living with his secretary in a shady apartment complex. And he had quit coming to work for several weeks, as had his secretary. I wanted to fire him for a couple of years but the other board members wanted to keep him. After some serious personnel issues came to light, as well as knowledge that the $100K capital expenditure account had disappeared, the rest of the board decided to fire him (what a great idea!) if I would do the dirty work. I went to his office, and 3 male coworkers were their. I told them why I was there, and said I guess I'd have to call him to come up and meet me. All 3 guys got extremely nervous, and the older attorney told me that the managing attorney kept a loaded 9mm in his right front desk drawer. He and I got the gun, took out the clip, locked the clip in 1 file cabinet and locked the gun in the other.

I call the guy and tell him to meet me at his office in 1 hour. He started making excuses, and I told him that this was extremely important. An hour later I come back and the office is totally empty except for the guy I'm about to fire, whos obviously high on something. I tell him that things are working out and that I was asking for his resignation, and if he refused the board had already voted to terminate him. He starts breathing heavy, and all he could say was "where was Walt" (his main supporter on the board) and I told him that Walt was in the meeting when we voted to fire him. He then pulled out the top right drawer of his desk really hard, and had a look of disappointment on his face when he saw the gun was missing. I just smiled and said "I'm sorry to be in this situation, but I'll leave you alone to clear out your things, just lock the door on your way out". The next day he calls Walt and says that I was verbally abusive to him and that he had to go to the hospital for a mini-stroke after I left, again making me the bad guy. He disappeared within a week, never to be heard from again.
 
This is "I quit" rather than "you're fired." My husband was working for a psycho engineer/designer guy who owned his own very small firm. Psycho boss would just come in and yell at his employees, call them names, etc. My husband is one of the most mild-mannered guys you've ever seen. In addition, we had just moved to this area and I was still looking for a job. So he just dealt with it for several months. Finally psycho boss comes in my husband's office and told him his work sucked, that he sucked and that he was a waste of oxygen. (That's a quote.) My husband stood up, said, "Well, then I guess you'll be glad you don't have to deal with me anymore, because I quit," packed his calculator and other small items in his briefcase, and walked out with psycho boss standing there staring at him.
 
I wasn't fired from the job but flirted with firing for about 10 months. I was working for this subprime loan company which was formerly owned by AIG. It was had to sell loans with 25% interest rates and mortgages at 14% interest to people, especially in a small community. I was on a written warning and corrective action plan shit for a while.

By this time I had taken the GRE and was applying to grad school so I really didn't give a damn at all. I had gotten my acceptance letter and found out I would have an assistantship so my mind was made up but I was going to tough it out a bit longer to save some money before I dropped the resignation on them. I worked hard at this place but my loan volume was low and well short of the goals the company set (God how I hate sales).

Anyway, the rope is getting pretty short with the company and I find out my "file" has been sent to this termination review committee at the company headquarters. This process takes about a month apparently. Turns out they didn't fire me because my idiot bitch of a boss didn't document things properly. This Director of Operations (like a regional manager) did and office visit and said to me "your volume has been pretty low. What do you plan to do about it?" I replied "well sir, I've taken the GRE, applied to grad school, been accepted, have been offered an assistantship, and will work to get my MPA then start a career in government." He didn't believe me until a month later I resigned. It was a nicely worded fuck you letter. That day, June 4, 2007, when I resigned was one of the best days of my life. I gave them hell in the exit interview too.
 
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I got fired a few months ago from a nonprofit. Seems my personal twitter account (which made no mention of the organization I worked for) was a little too honest about the BS that went on in my office. Someone read it, knew I was talking about them (no names mentioned) and boom...One Outlook invite to a "Quick meeting" turned into "Pack your stuff & leave now."

Can't say I'm all that bummed. Even though I'm unemployed now, my quality of life is vastly superior to when I worked there.
 
I used to work with a guy in a government office in DC. His wife recently got fired. She was walking with her 2-year-old granddaughter to a mall in the burbs. Rumor is she never really was a fan of her daughter's marriage, so she dropped the child off a pedestrian bridge 50 feet, killing her.

So yeah, she was fired. Maybe soon going to be fired from life.

Tyson's Corner?
 
I've never once felt bad about defending a client. You don't have to like them or agree with them, but everyone deserves to have someone in their corner.

Every client deserves the best legal defense to which they are entitled.
 
My first consulting job after I got out of college, I was let go because "nobody will take a 22 year old consultant seriously" and "you're just too young for this job."

Oddly enough, I ran into my old boss a few days ago in the Detroit airport. He was friendlier to me than he ever was when I worked for him. I've heard from people I used to work with he never felt good about letting me go. I always thought it was strange.
 
My first atty job there was this candy candy hotness 20 year old blonde that was a receptionist at out office. She was dumb as a rock but looked great. A week into my job there she was let go. Apparently she was taking a lot of afternoons off for 'doctor's appts' and in reality she was going to do porn photoshoots. She told one of the younger paralegals that she worked with, and then, of course, in typical female fashion, the first time she pissed that other girl off over something trivial, that girl sent a link to a partner, and *poof*, my little pornstar receptionist was gone.

The REALLY sad part is that I only found out about this after she was gone, and none of the other girls in the office would give me her number at that point. Sad story, I know.

Also, she looked super young and did like diaper porn where she was in these oversized cribs with giant pacifiers, etc. Awesome.

True story I've seen the pics

HOT
 
Sherman Myers squirmed like a maggot at the bottom of a trash heap. With his pocket protector and duct-taped glasses, he looked like the kind of wimp who stayed home on Friday nights to play video games on his computer. Nothing gave me more joy than to watch him suffer. I'd finally found an excuse to fire the worthless prick, and he knew it. Sweat beaded on his forehead. I felt no desire to help. Instead, I glowered menacingly. It was me versus him. He sat in the straight-back visitor's chair. On the other side of a mahogany desk, I leaned back in a leather swivel chair. This was no contest.

Oh, how I love to be bitch. Just because I can.

"Sales dropped 30 percent last quarter," I said. "How do you explain this?"

Sherman froze for a minute and shifted from one ass cheek to another as if he had a bad case of hemrroids.

"Uh, well, the market just wasn't there to --"

I cut him off.

"Bullshit," I said. "You're my marketing director. You didn't do your job. I didn't get to be the vice president of a Fortune 500 automaker by listening to excuses. Now get the hell out of my office. You're fired!"

The words tripped off my tongue like poetry. Sherman broke down in tears.

"How am I going to tell my wife?" he sobbed.

"Not my problem," I said. "Now go."

Sherman shuffled out of my office with his shoulders slumped. After he shut the door, I pushed back from my desk and spun victoriously in my chair. Breaking the weak to the point of tears always makes my day.

By now, you probably think I'm a heartless cunt. You know what?

I don't care.

The fact is, life is all about power. Either you have it or you don't. Here's the difference: Sherman probably went home to his suburban, ranch-style house where he ate greenbean casserole and pork chops before telling his wife he just got canned. Meanwhile, I told my driver to head uptown where dined with my friend, P. Diddy, and went clubbing with Britney Spears and Christina Aguliera.

I'm a 32-year-old multi-millionaie. I can have anything I want, anytime I want it. A condo in Miami Beach? Write a check. A lift in the company jet? One phone call, and it'll be ready in the time it takes to drive to the airport. Whatever money can't buy, I turn over to my DD tits and long, red hair. I want for nothing.

Everyone wants my fringe benefits, but few are prepared to do what's necessary to earn them. It takes hard work, dedication and -- most importantly -- superior cock-sucking ability.

Every couple months, I have to treat Larry, the CEO, and a few of his associates to a nasty, cum-filled gang bang. They jam their pricks into my every hole. I used to hate myself for allowing them to treat me like a living pin cushion. But I like it now. I'm so used to having control of my life, it's a relief to surrendur to men even more powerful than me.

Of course, I always get the control back. By the time the last glop of splooge has been shot, I have a chunk of evidence that would sink any powerful executive forever. But more on that later.

Larry calls for a fuck fest whenever he's in the mood or needs to close a deal. He tips me off by saying he needs to go over some "DPS reports."

So, I knew what was up when he rang my cell the Friday morning after I fired Sherman.

"Diane," he said. "I need you to meet me in Conference Room A at 3 today. We need to go over some DPS reports."

"I'll be there with bells on," I said.

He chuckled. "Not for long."

If you read The Wall Street Journal, you've probably heard of my boss and the two associates he brought with him that day, but I'm going to use only their first names for reasons that will soon become clear.

They were kicking backand laughing about something when I walked into the conference room. The top-floor room had a panoramic view of the whole city on all four sides. The only way in was a special elevator that allowed access only to a few select executives, including me.

Jim, the soda exec, stopped instantly as I sashayed in. He peered shamelessly at my cleavage. The rest of them quickly followed suit.

"Wow, Larry," Jim said. "She's even prettier than you described."

Larry smiled.

"Fellas,"he said. "This is Diane."

I quickly sized them up. Jim was built like linebacker. I would've fucked him even if my job didn't depend on it. Michael, the legendary venture capitalist, leaned forward. He already had his jacket slung over the back of his chair and his shirt sleeves pushed up, revealing strong forearms. I dug his enthusiasm. Larry was a skinny guy with an average-size dick, but I already knew that he could use it.

Without saying a word, I threw my purse on the confence table and tore off my blouse. The guys were dumbstruck at the way my lacy, black push-up bra accentuated my tits.

"Hey boys," I said. "Wanna fuck?"

They hollered and whooped like frat boys at a strip club. I slid my skirt around my spike heels. A garter belt held up a pair fishnet stockings, but I wasn't wearing panties. The fellas shamelessly stared at my neatly trimmed bush.

Michael couldn't help himself. He whipped out his cock and started jerking off. I kneeled in front of him and looked longingly into his eyes. He tensed, as if he were about to cum. But I pried his hand off his cock before he could blow.

"I'd be more than happy to help you with that," I said.

"She will!" Larry said. "Believe you me!"

The others chuckled as I teasingly licked the bulging head of Michael's fuckstick before jumping back.

My next move was to mount the table and strut like a stripper. This gave them a chance to check out the goods. Using the tip of my right heel, I punched a single button on a console at the end of the table. The blinds closed and the lights dimmed as a bouncing techno beat boomed from the speakers. A movie screen descended from the ceiling and my nearly naked body appeared on it 10 feet tall, thanks to a hidden camera in the wall. Anything that happened on the table was televised on the screen in larger-than-life proportions. All this was planned, of course. We did this for all our gang bangs. Larry would have a secretary set it up under the pretense that we were considering an ad campaigned aimed at hip 20-somethings.

With the mood set, I tried a few moves that Amy, a dancer friend of mine, taught me when I visited her in Vegas. Jim looked the hungriest so I started with him. I knelt in front of him and unhooked my bra. Extending my arms straight out, I let it slide down my arms and fall into his lap. Jim did nothing to hide his desperate, drooling lust as I pulled his head into my cleavage. Swining my body side to side, I slapped his cheeks with my tits.

"Damn!" he said. "Don't leave a mark! I don't know how I'd explan it to my wife!"

Next up was Larry. I slid off the table and dropped to my knees in front of him. A beautiful boner strained against his Brooks Brothers suit. I put my lips on his cock, over his pants, and blew a warm breath. He shook with ecstasy but had the discipline to keep the cum in his nuts. For now.

The guys were beyond whoops and catcalls now. They were groaning and staring like hungry lions. It was time for the closer, the move that would make them pounce.

I went for my purse. First, I pulled out a tube of KY Jelly and set it on the table, knowing we would soon need it. Next, I went for a chrome dildo. Bending over doggy style on top of the table, I turned the dial to high and reached between my legs. I slowly slid the humming stick into my wet pussy. Juice trickled down my thighs. I fucked myself gently before pulling out and pressing the dildo against my clit. Finally, Jim just couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm gonna fuck this bitch 'til she bleeds!" he said.

He lept up and hastily unfastened his belt.

"Shit yeah!" Micheal yelled.

Larry smiled, knowing he had another round of satisfied partners. I threw the dildo aside.

They all stripped naked. Each one had bodies wilted by age with wiry, gray chest hair and flabs of fat rolling off their stomachs. But they all had stiff cocks, and that's all that mattered.

Jim was the first to join me on the table. He uncapped the KY and spread my ass cheeks. When he squeezed the tube, it farted a dollop of gel onto his hand. He greased up his forefinger and shoved it up my ass. A lusty groan oozed from my chest.

"Fuck me," I rasped.

"Gladly," Jim said.

Larry and Michael stood back and watched, licking their lips, as Jim positioned himself behind me. I felt the head of his cock nuzzle my bunghole as his fingertips firlmy grasped my hips. He rocked back and forth, knocking but not coming in. I gritted my teeth and balled my hands into fists. The last thing I saw before squeezing my eyes shut was Larry and Michael stroking their own cocks.

Anyone who has been fucked in the ass knows it's a mix of pleasure and pain. When cock rushes in, it's a shock to the system. You're insides feel like they're on fire. But then the body adjusts, and it's the most exhilirating high on earth.

So, I stuck with it when Jim thrust all eight inches of his hump muscle into my ass at once. He had the best ass-reaming technique on Wall Street. Jim would pull back slowly, then shove himself back inside me fast and hard. The slap of his balls against my wet pussy set a rhythm that matched the bass thumping through the conference room. He was pumping the full length of his cock into me every two seconds. My poop shoot quickly adapted to Jim's high-powered thrusts. All I felt was pleasure by the time the CD switched to a harder, faster beat. Jim matched the pace of the music. With each thrust, he unleashed an animalistic "grrrr." An indescribable pleasure rippled through my body like waves through a pond. My entire body tingled. I heard myself moaning.

I knew Jim was close to jizzing when I felt him shake.

"Turn over," he said. "I want to see your face when I cum on you."
 
I laid on my back. Jim positioned himself between my spread legs. As he furiously stroked himself, his face scrunched up so tight I thought he was having a heart attack. But he wasn't. When the cork popped, Jim unleashed an unholy torrent of cum. He exploded with such force that his first few blasts of jisum sailed over my pubes, stomach and tits, and landed on my face. The second shot left a streak across my lips

As Jim unloaded on me, I turned my head and shot Michael and Larry my sexiest look. He and Larry were still jerking off in their chairs. Larry was smiling devilishly. Michael looked like he could barely keep the cum in his nuts. When he registered that I was looking at him, I licked the warm, salty jizz off my lips. He instinctively stood up.

"Your turn," Jim said as he squeezed the last drop of cum onto my stomach.

Michael slid into Jim's place and beelined for the fresh jizz droplets on my tummy. He lapped them up like a hungry kittne. Then he worked his way up my body, furiously licking and sucking the cum. This was a new one for me. But I liked it. And he loved it. Michael lingered at my tits, sucking my nipples, before vacuuming my cleavage. When he finished lapping the last drop, he grabbed my chin and jerked my head so our eyes met.

"Know what a snowball is?" he asked.

I nodded.

"Then start sucking," Michael said.

He stood. I got on my knees. Judging from the way his cock was pulsating, I could tell this was a BJ that woudln't last long.

Our eyes locked in a tense, lustful gaze as if held in place by a laser beam. I wet my lips and wrapped them around the head of Michael's fuckstick. I slowly slid them down his shaft, then pulled back gently. My tongue dragged along the underside of his dick as my head bobbed, steadily gaining speed. Michael put his hands on my shoulders, threw back his head and groaned. Each time my head went down, more of his cock slid into my throat. When I tasted pre-cum, I made myself suck harder. I had his entire stick in my mouth on the downstroke. His pubes blasted me in the nose. The head of his cock bumped against my tonsils. Then came that oh-so-familiar shake. Michael must've loosed a gallon of jizz. He held my head in place while pumping me full of it. I did my best to contain it all, but there was just too much. Little streams oozed out of the corners of my mouth and dribbled down my chin.

When he finished, Michael laid on his back, said "gimmie a taste" and opened his mouth wide. I positioned my lips about two inches above his open mouth and let the jizz slowly drain from my mouth to his. I could hear Jim and Larry clappiing and playfully teasing Michael.

"You sick fuck!" Jim yelled.

Michael didn't seem to hear. He was rapturously swallowing his own cum.

When the transfer was complete, I jumped off the table and smiled at Larry.

"Another job complete," he said.

I laughed. Michael and Jim chuckled, too, but I could tell they had no idea what Larry and I were talking about. This was our little, inside joke. But more on that in a minute.

"Wanna celebrate?" I asked.

"Definitely," I said.

I pushed his chair to a corner of the room I knew the camera's gaze couldn't reach. He stood. I fell to my knees. Sucking Larry is easy. I just open up my throat, keep my teeth out of the way and let him fuck my face.

Larry grabbed a handful of hair and went like hell. This was a man who knew what he wanted and went after it. No questions asked. He jizzed hard after about 100 strokes. I gladly swallowed every drop. We smiled at each other as the cum slid down my throat.

We all began to pluck our clothes off the floor and get dressed.

"Wow!" Michael said. "I haven't had fun like that in years!"

"Hell, yeah!" Jim said.

They slapped high-fives like a couple of football players.

Larry chuckled.

"Yeah," he said, "it was fun. But wait 'till you find out what it's going to cost you."

One mention of money instantly changed the mood from frat-house party to high-stakes business meeting. Larry buckled his belt and punched a button on the console that controlled our multi-media display. The music stopped and the screen went blank for a moment.

"You see, fellas," Larry said, "I have a video here that your wives, shareholders and the press might find interesting."

Our nasty, little adventure played on the screen.There I was, stripping on the table.

"You bastard!" Jim yelled. "You set us up!"

Larry fast-forwarded to the parts where Jim told me to flip over, then to the section where Michael was eating his own cum.

Michael dejectedly fell into a chair and slumped down.

"How much?" he asked.

"Ten million," Larry said. "Each. Deposit the money in a bank account we'll provide for you, and this will never get out."

Jim fell into the chair next to Michael. Now both of them were slumping. Jim looked at me.

"You know," he said, "you're the most expensive piece of ass I've ever had."

"Yeah," I said while fastening my bra, "but was it worth it?"

Jim smiled.

"Let me put it like this," he said. "If you ever want a job, come see me."
 
My junior year in high school I worked as a busboy at an upscale restaurant in MD. One of my dad's coworkers knew the restaurant owner so that's how I got the job. A few months after I start the job, my dad's coworker sleeps with the owner's wife. I get a call about a week later from the hiring manager saying, "Your work has been a little off so we're going to need to let you go."

About a year ago I went to show up at a real estate mortgage company (contractor) and I got a call at 7am from my boss saying I didn't need to show up to work. I asked why and he said I was clearly disinterested in the position since I was checking my phone (reading the boards) during training. I remember posting frantically on the chat thread as I waited outside of the work building that day. I wanted to bust into that building so badly. Thankfully I didn't.
 
I used to work with a guy in a government office in DC. His wife recently got fired. She was walking with her 2-year-old granddaughter to a mall in the burbs. Rumor is she never really was a fan of her daughter's marriage, so she dropped the child off a pedestrian bridge 50 feet, killing her.

So yeah, she was fired. Maybe soon going to be fired from life.

Tyson's Corner?

Yep. One of the worst things I've ever heard of. I never met her, but there were a lot of reports from those that did that she was not ok.

This was only a year after another guy associated with our project (CBP) had his house broken into by the police - they tracked his IP address and found a hidden room in his house. He was running a kiddie porn share site out of his basement. Unreal. He was in jail for a while in Old Town here. Weird.

He was also fired.
 
My former married graduate school adviser at a school up north had issues keeping his testosterone levels in check. At the time it was rumored he had slept with 2 undergrads who worked in the dept. In the lab, he was extremely demanding & had unrealistic expecations of graduate students as he kept us under his thumb. When we were at a scientific meeting in San Diego, he started acting pretty crappy overtly going after an undergrad in the lab, making poor choices & us graduate students called him out on it. He pulled us aside & told us to "look where you are. If you don't watch yourselves, I will pull the rug completely out from underneath you. Think about it!!" Shortly after we returned from the meeting, the school began to investigate him. All lab members & select dept folks were all interviewed. All information was handed over to the Dean & he called our adviser into his office & said that the university would like him to resign. I heard that his response was basically "why would I need to resign?" At that point the Dean handed him copies of all the testimony including factual information that he had slept with 1 undergrad & was actively pursuing another while his wife actually worked in the same department.

The Dean accepted his letter of resignation 2 days later.
 
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