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Chat Thread Quality: Zen and the Art of Pinball Machine Maintenance

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mdmh a bunch of women have come forward saying that Callaghan pressured them into sex
 
I do find it interesting that begging/pressuring someone to have sex is becoming a more noteworthy form of misconduct. Feel like this transition both clarifies and complicates the concept of sexual consent.
 
if "good-faith" trying to talk a girl into having sex with you is misconduct, we're all guilty
 
I had not interviewed in a looong time prior to when i was looking about 16 mos ago. So much lack of transparency and bs with far to many places. I think there has been some backlash against that over the last few years. More salary transparency, fewer rounds and people involved. Some techt/dev jobs requiring people to do projects for free to "show their work" but then getting ghosted after all that time and effort. It really sucks.

For this job I had a call with the recruiter that was basic details role/ responsibilities/salary/ benefits. She answered every question I asked honestly. Once I was not crazy I met with the hiring manager (my current one) for what was scheduled for 30 min but ended up going past his "hard stop" (prob true in hindsight now that i know him). He asked if I was willing to set up more time with him. So we met again and went an hour or so. Both times very comfortable and great experiences. At the end of that one he candidly said it was down to me and an internal candidate and his boss wanted to get a feel for me "are you OK with that?" I had a vacation schedlued and they waited a week while i was away. I offered to make time because it was a great opportunity for me. He said absolutely not. They would not ask me to do that. I met with her when I got back and that one was good too and very much felt about fit/personality rather than role.
 
DeacDiggler said:
if "good-faith" trying to talk a girl into having sex with you is misconduct, we're all guilty
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I'm sure I've tried to probably talk someone into making out, but can't say the same about sex. That just happens organically, there's not much verbal discussion on the matter.
 
Are we now functionally defining sexual consent in a stricter way than we define the term “consent” in general language? The term “consent” itself doesn’t imply enjoyment or happiness. Then you get into the term “coercion”. Is that trickery, manipulation, does it require force? What is the power balance? There’s a lot to unpack.
 
deaconson said:
I had not interviewed in a looong time prior to when i was looking about 16 mos ago. So much lack of transparency and bs with far to many places. I think there has been some backlash against that over the last few years. More salary transparency, fewer rounds and people involved. Some techt/dev jobs requiring people to do projects for free to "show their work" but then getting ghosted after all that time and effort. It really sucks.

For this job I had a call with the recruiter that was basic details role/ responsibilities/salary/ benefits. She answered every question I asked honestly. Once I was not crazy I met with the hiring manager (my current one) for what was scheduled for 30 min but ended up going past his "hard stop" (prob true in hindsight now that i know him. He asked if I was willing to set up more time with him. So we met again and went an hour or so. Both times very comfortable and great experiences. At the end of that one he candidly said it was down to me and an internal candidate and his boss wanted to get a feel for me "are you OK with that?" I had a vacation schedlued and they waited a week while i was away. I offeref to make tome because it was a great opportunity for me. He said absolutely not. They would not ask me to do that. I met with her when I got back and that one was good too and very much felt about fit/personality rather than role.
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California has some new salary transparency laws that just took effect a week ago
 
dartsndeacs said:
I'm sure I've tried to probably talk someone into making out, but can't say the same about sex. That just happens organically, there's not much verbal discussion on the matter.
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Gonna need confirmation from Mrs.Palma on this one.
 
Interesting discussion re: consent. Such a wide range of differences from a Louis ck, weinstein, aziz, etc.

With a 10 yo boy and 13 yo girl it's going to be interesting finding a way to teach them the same sorts of things. Something like the responsibility to receive AND give enthusiastic consent while being comfortable with having honest conversations up front.
 
deaconson said:
Interesting discussion re: consent. Such a wide range of differences from a Louis ck, weinstein, aziz, etc.

With a 10 yo boy and 13 yo girl it's going to be interesting finding a way to teach them the same sorts of things. Something like the responsibility to receive AND give enthusiastic consent while being comfortable with having honest conversations up front.
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TITCR, something we definitely didn't learn as kids but I think it's very important to make sure there is clear communication about what consent is given vs just assuming if someone is going along with it they're fine. The latter can be a lose/lose for everyone that is just worth avoiding by doing a tiny bit of talking.
 
mako1331 said:
Gonna need confirmation from Mrs.Palma on this one.
Click to expand...

Oh, definitely have to talk with the wife. But I meant like random encounters. At some point clothes either come off or she stops you from taking off her clothes and you stop.
 
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