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HEY FATTIES!

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http://www.theonion.com/article/chiefs-rookies-forced-lug-andy-reids-snacks-and-pr-51164

Chiefs Rookies Forced To Lug Andy Reid’s Snacks To And From Practice

ST. JOSEPH, MO—Saying that the daily ritual has been both physically and mentally draining, rookies on the Kansas City Chiefs confirmed Monday that they have been forced to carry all of head coach Andy Reid’s snacks to and from practice every day. “It’s brutal—this morning, I had to lug 80-pound duffel bags filled with spicy beef jerky and cream-filled cupcakes while running to the field,” said first-year offensive lineman Mitch Morse, adding that he is often sore before practice even starts, having arrived an hour early to haul 10-gallon gravy jugs to the sideline. “I know all the new players have to do it—Knile Davis told me he almost hurt his shoulder while carrying coach’s hickory-smoked summer sausages back in 2013—but it still feels cruel and overboard.” At press time, rookie cornerback Marcus Peters was running laps as punishment for bringing Reid a tray of chili-cheese nachos without any sour cream.
 
Have we really reached the point where we're enabling people with zero self-control?



People would rather have a permanent hole in their stomach so they can purge than just eat less.
 
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