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Hookup Mishap Stories

BillBrasky said:
Well this was certainly worth the read. I have a few stories of me "dropping the ball" but they are not really that entertaining.

I do however do have a funny story about a cougar and a vibrator, I'll have to post that sometime soon.
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Reminds me of a story a few weeks ago. Buddies and I are outside at this texmax bar/restaurant. We're pretty much the only people at their outdoor tables since it's kinda cold. Cougar rolls up to us piss drunk and sits down. She mumbles that she got thrown out of the bar and wants to know what we're doing later. She then asks us to pretty much come home with her and run a train. My buddy says oh I would but I'm waiting for my friend to show up...he's bringing a strap on. The woman looks at him for 5-7 seconds, totally quiet, and says that's not funny at all. I thought she was gonna cut him.
 
wake20 said:
Reminds me of a story a few weeks ago. Buddies and I are outside at this texmax bar/restaurant. We're pretty much the only people at their outdoor tables since it's kinda cold. Cougar rolls up to us piss drunk and sits down. She mumbles that she got thrown out of the bar and wants to know what we're doing later. She then asks us to pretty much come home with her and run a train. My buddy says oh I would but I'm waiting for my friend to show up...he's bringing a strap on. The woman looks at him for 5-7 seconds, totally quiet, and says that's not funny at all. I thought she was gonna cut him.
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This had to be at Primo's on Mckinney?
 
I can't touch some of these stories, but...

Threw a giant birthday party for myself in my apartment with 2 room mates, and there were maybe 35ish people in a small apartment. One of my closer female friends and my best friends gf asks at the beginning of the night if she could stash her beer in the minifridge in my room, so nobody took it from the main fridge. About midway through the party, the girl I was dating walked up to me and planted a drunken kiss on me and pulled me into my room. Things heat up quickly and the next minute she's on top riding like a champion. The next minute, however, my friend pokes her head in the room and says, "Oh I'm sorry I just need to grab a beer!" and proceeds to cross the room to my minifridge. Without stopping her gyrations or missing a beat, my girl responds, "No problem, you should probably grab two!" Friend laughs, leaves, and we finish. Good night.

Only other one that is mildly amusing is, same girl, same situation (large party at my house, hooking up in my room in the middle of it), i PIITB. Unfortunately, as I'm hitting it from behind a couple buddies that showed up late picked the lock to my door and busted in mid coitus. Kind of stood there for a second, laughed, and left so we could finish. :shrug:
 
also, i never got to hear the IAT username story... with all this buildup, it needs to be retold
 
DoTheLoboboogie said:
Once, a girl asked me to tap her on the head while giving me fellatio so as to indicate when I was ready to ejaculate. Strange request, but I was cool with it. Business hours are drawing to a close, and I give her the love tap. She jumps off me in a blaze like I was about to explode (...) and in the ensuing force, my penis snaps back towards my chest, and globs fly everywhere. Including my eyes, blinding me temporarily. Beach week is fun, but don't ever let a girl suggest this strange practice to you, or you may be in for temporary cum blindness.
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61raddeac said:
This had to be at Primo's on Mckinney?
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Haha I guess I need to try that place. Nah, it was at Bandito's in Snyder Plaza by SMU. Usually filled with some bangin' sorostitutes, but that night a cougar made her way inside before getting the boot.
 
You can pos rep him and have it count since you are above 50 posts.
 
BeachBumDeac said:
thought you couldn't receive it until you got to 50 posts. this shit is confusing.
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You can get it at any time. You can give it <50 posts but it doesnt count because you're a noob. Once you reach 50 posts, your reps count. They show up blue/gray if people rep you when they have <50. Once they get 50, their reps will start being green or red depending on if they approve/disapprove.
 
BeachBumDeac said:
thought you couldn't receive it until you got to 50 posts. this shit is confusing.
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You can always receive it. That's why lectro and keeper got down so many levels even after just like 3 posts each.


Reputation giving only counts when a poster has at least 50 posts over here.


Hope that cleared it up.
 
DeaconCav06 said:
I went to catholic school from 3-10 grade and one of the girls there and I have remained friends over the years. In 8th grade she told me I had beautiful eyes and her father once told her to marry a man like me.

When I was at wake I visited her at her sorority house during the FSU wake game (the sorority house is a whole different story) but we had never been more than friends.

In law school we were talking with each other on a pretty frequent basis and there was some flirting but i was in virginia and she lived in florida and she was just a good person to talk to. So right before graduating my friends and I rent a penthouse condo on the beach in Jacksonville and she comes out to meet us and take us to bars. She had been tanning with her friend that is a cheerleader for the jaguars.

She decides she is going to match me bourbon for bourbon. I warn her this is a bad idea. She reminds me she went to FSU. (this was probably my first clue that she wanted some DC06). We go out to the bars and things are going swimmingly. I insist she shouldn't go drink for drink but she does. Riley skinner shows up at the bar. She knows his family.

I slow down my pace because I don't want her to die. We go back to the condo and I'm not sure what the signs are but we are reminiscing and then we go to bed. Same room separate beds. She just keeps repeating "ooooooooo I'm so drunk". As an almost lawyer at this point i cut bait. nothing happens.

Next day the girls I'm with ask what happened i relate the events and they say "you're an idiot. That was your sign. You have got to quit inviting girls over and not giving them any." (I did have a bad habit of that at this point)

Any way moral of the story: make up your fucking mind women. You can't essentially say, "oh there is no way I could legally consent right now" and then still want some loving.
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I don't know if anybody reads "Total Frat Move" it's like texts from last night but douchier. Anyway I saw this gem and thought of my own life...

"I'm so drunk.." The sorostitute mating call. TFM.
 
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After reading some of the men cheating thread, I was reminded of this thread which has I think is my best contribution to these new boards. Hopefully we'll get some new contributions.
 
NoVaDeac said:
how about we all talk about that time dv7 blew his chance at a threesome again. That was a great story, right guys?
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If you're going to bump the thread, at least do it right. Also, I have absolutely no recollection of why the fuck I was trading insults with ITC.
 
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