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Hookup Mishap Stories

lbE08 said:
i actually did just write the names on my "list" on a little sticky note here at work to jog my memory, but none of them really have any 'mishap' stories that go with them. there are a couple epic tales, but not really fit for this thread. or my dignity.
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:squint:
 
DeaconCav06 said:
I went to catholic school from 3-10 grade and one of the girls there and I have remained friends over the years. In 8th grade she told me I had beautiful eyes and her father once told her to marry a man like me.

When I was at wake I visited her at her sorority house during the FSU wake game (the sorority house is a whole different story) but we had never been more than friends.

In law school we were talking with each other on a pretty frequent basis and there was some flirting but i was in virginia and she lived in florida and she was just a good person to talk to. So right before graduating my friends and I rent a penthouse condo on the beach in Jacksonville and she comes out to meet us and take us to bars. She had been tanning with her friend that is a cheerleader for the jaguars.

She decides she is going to match me bourbon for bourbon. I warn her this is a bad idea. She reminds me she went to FSU. (this was probably my first clue that she wanted some DC06). We go out to the bars and things are going swimmingly. I insist she shouldn't go drink for drink but she does. Riley skinner shows up at the bar. She knows his family.

I slow down my pace because I don't want her to die. We go back to the condo and I'm not sure what the signs are but we are reminiscing and then we go to bed. Same room separate beds. She just keeps repeating "ooooooooo I'm so drunk". As an almost lawyer at this point i cut bait. nothing happens.

Next day the girls I'm with ask what happened i relate the events and they say "you're an idiot. That was your sign. You have got to quit inviting girls over and not giving them any." (I did have a bad habit of that at this point)

Any way moral of the story: make up your fucking mind women. You can't essentially say, "oh there is no way I could legally consent right now" and then still want some loving.
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You are not permitted to blame that on her. So much fail on your end here. Nothing personal, obviously, but dude, come on.
 
Ball State Deac said:
You are not permitted to blame that on her. So much fail on your end here. Nothing personal, obviously, but dude, come on.
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you obviously don't know deaccav personally. he is big on placing blame elsewhere. i think its the lawyer in him.
 
Great BSD quote from law school (back before he became an upstanding member of the bar and got engaged). We are in first year torts and our professor asks, "can you consent when intoxicated?" BSD's answer: "I certainly hope so."
 
Wakelaw2006 said:
Great BSD quote from law school (back before he became an upstanding member of the bar and got engaged). We are in first year torts and our professor asks, "can you consent when intoxicated?" BSD's answer: "I certainly hope so."
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One of my better inadvertent lines. Just blurted it out with an incredulous tone.

And I almost posted :2003 1L torts bat signal after reading Cav's post.
 
lbE08 said:
i actually did just write the names on my "list" on a little sticky note here at work to jog my memory, but none of them really have any 'mishap' stories that go with them. there are a couple epic tales, but not really fit for this thread. or my dignity.
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epic tales that aren't fit for your dignity ... sounds like a perfect fit for this thread!
 
I admit that this was almost wholly my fault. I fully take the blame and am angry with myself.
 
myDeaconmyhand said:
Facepalm

Another time I went to Franklin Street with some friends on the night of the UNC-Duke game, and went to this bar/club called East End. One of the friends was an army guy from the 82nd who was in town for the weekend, and he bought us all rounds of 151 :)tard:) We comically start grinding on everything that moves upstairs like the my new haircut video, and this Indian chick I'm dancing with pulls up her skirt and tells me to finger her on the dance floor. It's getting pretty heated, but being the pervert I am, I smell my finger and it smells like death and cabbage: Immediate boner killer. Upon review from my less drunk friends, the girl was a 5 at best and I made the right move getting out.
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:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

I'm just now catching up on this thread, but this fucking hilarious.
 
Once, a girl asked me to tap her on the head while giving me fellatio so as to indicate when I was ready to ejaculate. Strange request, but I was cool with it. Business hours are drawing to a close, and I give her the love tap. She jumps off me in a blaze like I was about to explode (...) and in the ensuing force, my penis snaps back towards my chest, and globs fly everywhere. Including my eyes, blinding me temporarily. Beach week is fun, but don't ever let a girl suggest this strange practice to you, or you may be in for temporary cum blindness.
 
postal-pirate_detail.jpg
 
DoTheLoboboogie said:
Once, a girl asked me to tap her on the head while giving me fellatio so as to indicate when I was ready to ejaculate. Strange request, but I was cool with it. Business hours are drawing to a close, and I give her the love tap. She jumps off me in a blaze like I was about to explode (...) and in the ensuing force, my penis snaps back towards my chest, and globs fly everywhere. Including my eyes, blinding me temporarily. Beach week is fun, but don't ever let a girl suggest this strange practice to you, or you may be in for temporary cum blindness.
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Facepalm
 
Does anyone remember the bukakke Thursday post from the old boards? It had to be one of the funniest posts I've ever read. It ranks up there with IAT's username story.
 
tsywake said:
Does anyone remember the bukakke Thursday post from the old boards? It had to be one of the funniest posts I've ever read. It ranks up there with IAT's username story.
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IAT's username story is one of the funniest things I have ever read on the internet.

A couple of Meredith girls spend the weekend at the fraternity house and one ends up in my bed. We are getting busy and she just doesn't seem to want to take it all the way. She seems to be enjoying herself but a bit reluctant. I finally just ask her what the deal is and what she wants and she starts crying and tells me that since she got to Meredith she had decided that she was a lesbian and now she was so confused. I offered to have her friend join us and that made her cry some more. I didn't close that night but for some reason she was willing the next day. I'm not sure if I saved one for the team or not but I never saw her again. Maybe she just felt bad about all the drama.
 
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