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Hookup Mishap Stories

I was hoping for a little love from the HIMYM crowd. I'd never been so excited to make a post when I remembered that episode.
 
A buddy was in the thick of a jam session. She was slowly...riding while he was on his back. He notices she gets a strange look on her face. He gets worried. She is still going. Her face contorted. Terrified but not sure exactly what is going on. He is thinking of throwing her off him since its clear she is pre puke. She is still going but reaches over and takes an empty coke can from the night stand. She pukes into it. He is horrified. She calmly finishes puking and places the can back. She starts riding again.
 
FreeCat.jpg
 
ChrisL68 said:
how the world could you puke into a coke can?
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No idea. Guess the volume was low. He told the story after a ton of booze one night. It was clear he was still shell shocked a few years later.
 
years ago before getsome sis got married, getsome sis was quite the lady about town. we had gone out to clubs in Charlotte (give me a break, I was young and had a fake ID) and met skeezy club guys that she decided she wanted to hook up with. I had zero interest but they said they had booze and a dog so I'm like cool, let's go. Once we get to their place she immediately goes into guy A's bedroom and guy B is trying to chat me up about the ballet or some shit. I'm like....go away guy B...and decided, sorry getsome sis, I can not wait for you to get your V wet, we gotta get goin. so guy A comes out of the bedroom to get some water and I sneak into the room and think..."hey it will be funny if I hide in the sheets and scare him when he tries to make his move" (I'm drunk at this point so maybe not the best idea) but getsome sis decides she doesn't want to hook it with him any more anyways so let's get a laugh out of it. so I'm all hidden by the time he comes back in and this is how it goes down
sis "you took a long time getting water. what were you doing?"
guy "your sis left my buddy and I had to cheer him up a bit. now let's get down to business. I hope you don't mind that I sleep in the nude"
at ths point I hear him taking his clothes off and I'm just a little high and too drunk to keep quiet much longer. then she says it...my sister, who has NO filter and no concern for people's feelings says something only she would say...
sis"why is it so small? i wouldn't have waited so long if I knew it were so small. come on getsome, let's get out of here"

so I busted out from hiding under the blankets and looked dead at it and you know what....it was alarmingly small.
 
getsomeDEACinya said:
years ago before getsome sis got married, getsome sis was quite the lady about town. we had gone out to clubs in Charlotte (give me a break, I was young and had a fake ID) and met skeezy club guys that she decided she wanted to hook up with. I had zero interest but they said they had booze and a dog so I'm like cool, let's go. Once we get to their place she immediately goes into guy A's bedroom and guy B is trying to chat me up about the ballet or some shit. I'm like....go away guy B...and decided, sorry getsome sis, I can not wait for you to get your V wet, we gotta get goin. so guy A comes out of the bedroom to get some water and I sneak into the room and think..."hey it will be funny if I hide in the sheets and scare him when he tries to make his move" (I'm drunk at this point so maybe not the best idea) but getsome sis decides she doesn't want to hook it with him any more anyways so let's get a laugh out of it. so I'm all hidden by the time he comes back in and this is how it goes down
sis "you took a long time getting water. what were you doing?"
guy "your sis left my buddy and I had to cheer him up a bit. now let's get down to business. I hope you don't mind that I sleep in the nude"
at ths point I hear him taking his clothes off and I'm just a little high and too drunk to keep quiet much longer. then she says it...my sister, who has NO filter and no concern for people's feelings says something only she would say...
sis"why is it so small? i wouldn't have waited so long if I knew it were so small. come on getsome, let's get out of here"

so I busted out from hiding under the blankets and looked dead at it and you know what....it was alarmingly small.
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If ChrisPaul3 had told this story, it would have ended with..."and that's the story of how I met Alec and Billy Baldwin."
 
ibleedgoldandblack said:
If ChrisPaul3 had told this story, it would have ended with..."and that's the story of how I met Alec and Billy Baldwin."
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no but I do have a story about one of my friends (not close friend...maybe better described as a friend of a friend) hooking up with one of the New Boyz before he turned 18. gross.
 
94Deac said:
I'll not tell the "red down the chin/neck" story again though some here have equaled or topped it.

I did hook up with the roommate of a good female friend from high school. She went to UGA and moved into O house with a girl who was very liberated.

So we go out and see some bands (The Replacements, IIRC) and get back to their room. My friend and her BF are in the bottom bunk and me and other chickie get up top. At one point, she tells me to wait and proceeds to pull out her sanguine and soaked tampon. She then tosses it towards the large window, intending it to simply fall 12 or so stories down to the parking lot below.

The window was closed and it just splattered against the glass. She cheerfully hops down- totally naked and in full view of everyone in the room- peels it off the glass, slides open the window, and drops it onto a car below.

I was enthralled by her pure lasciviousness. I put DNA on every square inch of her body.

The next morning, I'm in the shower (O house has two suites per bathroom) which is opaque glass. She opens the door to the bathroom and proceeds to sit on the toilet. I tell her I'm almost done and will be out in a minute.

She nonchalantly replies, "Oh, that's okay. I'm just taking a dump. Do you want to go get breakfast?" All I can think is, "Outstanding."

That weekend is seared into my brain.
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I am just starting this thread and can tell that NOTHING will beat this story. How you stayed in it is beyond comprehension.
 
My stupid mouth:

Summer before my senior year at Wake, I was hooking up regularly with a chick that worked over in GSO as a stripper. One afternoon, I came in from playing golf with some buddies. She and I were hanging out at her apartment, watching TV with her older sister. I was telling a story about some bet that happened on the golf course earlier and after I finished, there was a brief pause in the conversation.

Next words out of her mouth are – “So, what do you think about threesomes?” My dumbass say, “Threesomes are cool, but foursomes make the betting easier”.

To understand exactly how stupid this was, you would have had to see how hot this girl was, but buddies of mine who know the story still give me a hard time about it over 20 years later.
 
91deac said:
My stupid mouth:

Summer before my senior year at Wake, I was hooking up regularly with a chick that worked over in GSO as a stripper. One afternoon, I came in from playing golf with some buddies. She and I were hanging out at her apartment, watching TV with her older sister. I was telling a story about some bet that happened on the golf course earlier and after I finished, there was a brief pause in the conversation.

Next words out of her mouth are – “So, what do you think about threesomes?” My dumbass say, “Threesomes are cool, but foursomes make the betting easier”.

To understand exactly how stupid this was, you would have had to see how hot this girl was, but buddies of mine who know the story still give me a hard time about it over 20 years later.
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Do you think she wanted to have a threesome with her sister though?
 
This was a mishap for the extremely trashed young lady involved...

One of my bros took her back to his room and they do the deed. He gets up to go to the bathroom. She says to hurry back b/c she wants to do it again. He's not interested and asks a housemate if he wants a turn, which he gladly accepts. The room is pitch black, he's of similar build and doesn't say anything, so apparently she can't tell any difference and thinks it's the same guy. The deed is done again and he gets up to go to the bathroom. The tag is made and #3 goes in for his turn, but he's nothing like the first two guys physically and part way through the act she realizes that she's Amtrak.
 
DemonDEKEn said:
This was a mishap for the extremely trashed young lady involved...

One of my bros took her back to his room and they do the deed. He gets up to go to the bathroom. She says to hurry back b/c she wants to do it again. He's not interested and asks a housemate if he wants a turn, which he gladly accepts. The room is pitch black, he's of similar build and doesn't say anything, so apparently she can't tell any difference and thinks it's the same guy. The deed is done again and he gets up to go to the bathroom. The tag is made and #3 goes in for his turn, but he's nothing like the first two guys physically and part way through the act she realizes that she's Amtrak.
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ImTheCaptain said:
ah, casual rape; isn't life grand
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yeah no shit
 
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