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Hookup Mishap Stories

Once in HS i was banging my girl in the back of my car in a park parking lot, window's half down and some creeper rolled up with a flashlight and instant camera and banged out a bunch of shots before we knew what was what. Guy pretended to be a cop at first then bolted before I could get my pants all the way on.
 
Once in HS I took my GF to Durant Nature Park in North Raleigh to hook up on a sleeping bag on a little meadow they had. We're having a great time, butb all of a sudden there's two park rangers RIGHT THERE shining their light on us. So we're scrambling to get dressed and one says "Nah, you guys just stay here and enjoy yourselves. This is the most action we've had in this park since the beaver dam broke."

I totally lost it on the irony of this guy's comment and gave them a cold beer out of the back of my truck to say thanks.
 
drew said:
At post exams in 1999, a girl I knew came in to our hotel room as I was trying to drunkenly pass out on the floor and tried to get her schwerve on. I was down, but trying not to puke so had to shut it down.

[Shyamalan] The girl is an occasional poster. [/Shyamalan]
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:laugh:
 
My only good one is having a fire alarm go off in the dorm at Wake while I was getting a beej. Really, really terrible way to end that.
 
Period sex with a high school ex against my kitchen counter in the dark did NOT go well. It was awkward and uncomfortable to begin with, but when I turned the lights on I realized I had quite a mess on my hands... and pretty much all over the counter, the front of my pants somehow, and down the cabinets. I had no idea there could be so much blood. We frantically tried to clean up without waking my parents whose room was right above the kitchen. I hid my pants under my bed and later just threw them out in my neighbor's trash. The next day my mom asked me something to the effect of, "What were you making last night? You left the counter sticky." I played dumb after some stuttering, and tried to avoid eye contact the rest of the day.
 
DreaminDeacon said:
Period sex with a high school ex against my kitchen counter in the dark did NOT go well. It was awkward and uncomfortable to begin with, but when I turned the lights on I realized I had quite a mess on my hands... and pretty much all over the counter, the front of my pants somehow, and down the cabinets. I had no idea there could be so much blood. We frantically tried to clean up without waking my parents whose room was right above the kitchen. I hid my pants under my bed and later just threw them out in my neighbor's trash. The next day my mom asked me something to the effect of, "What were you making last night? You left the counter sticky." I played dumb after some stuttering, and tried to avoid eye contact the rest of the day.
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:wtf:
 
At my friend's wedding in Iowa (all ten Jews in Iowa were there), I hooked up with the bride's best friend.

The friend at the bride's parent's home. She and I went out after the reception. When I brought her back to the parent's house, no one answered the door.

She "had" to stay with me at the groom's abode. The only bed big enough for two was the pull out couch in the livingroom.

The next morning the bride and groom showed up at the apartment to take the guys to breakfast. The bride wasn't expecting to find her best friend naked with me. OOPS.
 
ImTheCaptain said:
Once in HS i was banging my girl in the back of my car in a park parking lot, window's half down and some creeper rolled up with a flashlight and instant camera and banged out a bunch of shots before we knew what was what. Guy pretended to be a cop at first then bolted before I could get my pants all the way on.
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were you sporting a beard?
 
My roommate and best friend in college banged out my date to a formal freshman year in our shared hotel room. He did this, of course, without my knowledge and intended to keep it that way. Unfortunately, he threw the used rubber across the room and into the closet. It landed in my open toiletry bag on my tooth brush. The cat was kinda out of the bag at that point.
 
I think it was my junior year at Wake. We went out to Grungeway for a party. The girls had a keg of beer and huge thing of wine and the winners of the Fiddlers' Convention playing music.

I listened and drank for a while. Then I went to Brant's place to invite him over. When I got there he offered me some hash. We had so much hash at that point we decided it was quicker just ot eat some.

He told me Russ and Annie were having a party. So we went two doors down.

As I entered Annie handed me a bottle of tequila saying I looked thirsty. I polished most of it off.

The great and sweet Lorna Doone saw me. She got me a pillow and said I should lie down on the couch. I listened to her.

About 3AM I woke up to take a pee. What surprised me was somehow I was naked and there was a naked girl laying on top of me.

After realizing we didn't know who each other was, Turtle (a very offensive lineman who had passed on the floor) chimed in,"For two people who don't knwo each other you sure made a lot of noise a little while ago."

That was the first and last time I ever saw that girl.
 
RJ, your stories make you sound like much more fun than people who I know who went to college with you told me.
 
TexasDeac10 said:
My only good one is having a fire alarm go off in the dorm at Wake while I was getting a beej. Really, really terrible way to end that.
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you should have just finished, omg someone burned popcorn who gives fuck.
 
How was Lorna Doone's shortbread?
 
Since this story still gets occasional references on the board, I'll tell it all here...

A few years ago when I was in the midst of a dry spell and desperate for some poon, I started talking to this girl at a bar. Nice girl, reasonably good conversation, but she looked like she had been beaten with a bag of nickels. Her face was just wrecked and her body was maybe a 5/10. But I was desperate, and I could tell she was into me.

So out in the parking lot I started making out with her and it progressed to the point where I knew if I took her home I'd bang her. At that point, she dropped the bomb, "So I feel I should tell you that I'm HIV positive."

Oh fuck. Are you kidding me? Here I am, needing to get laid badly, pick out a girl that should be easy pickins, the one girl who isn't a crackhead, a smack addict, or a porn star, and she's got the friggin' HIV?

So logically, I said, that's cool. Come on over. She had to swing by a gas station or something on the way, so I came home and promptly posted a thread that will live in infamy. I sought out the advice of The Quad asking if I should bang this girl who was ugly and HIV positive.

Long story short. She came over. We both got off. We did not have sex. The worst was the next day though. I couldn't get rid of her. I swear she didn't leave until like 6:00 or something. Poor girl. I really felt bad for her though. It couldn't have been easy being in her situation. She had been infected by a previous boyfriend and now had to live with all the consequences, one of which was not getting laid by my glorious self.
 
I'll not tell the "red down the chin/neck" story again though some here have equaled or topped it.

I did hook up with the roommate of a good female friend from high school. She went to UGA and moved into O house with a girl who was very liberated.

So we go out and see some bands (The Replacements, IIRC) and get back to their room. My friend and her BF are in the bottom bunk and me and other chickie get up top. At one point, she tells me to wait and proceeds to pull out her sanguine and soaked tampon. She then tosses it towards the large window, intending it to simply fall 12 or so stories down to the parking lot below.

The window was closed and it just splattered against the glass. She cheerfully hops down- totally naked and in full view of everyone in the room- peels it off the glass, slides open the window, and drops it onto a car below.

I was enthralled by her pure lasciviousness. I put DNA on every square inch of her body.

The next morning, I'm in the shower (O house has two suites per bathroom) which is opaque glass. She opens the door to the bathroom and proceeds to sit on the toilet. I tell her I'm almost done and will be out in a minute.

She nonchalantly replies, "Oh, that's okay. I'm just taking a dump. Do you want to go get breakfast?" All I can think is, "Outstanding."

That weekend is seared into my brain.
 
ellisat2 said:
RJ, your stories make you sound like much more fun than people who I know who went to college with you told me.
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You should talk to Bluefish.....It woudl be interesting to see who you think thought they knew me well at Wake.
 
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