• Welcome to OGBoards 10.0, keep in mind that we will be making LOTS of changes to smooth out the experience here and make it as close as possible functionally to the old software, but feel free to drop suggestions or requests in the Tech Support subforum!

Hookup Mishap Stories

94Deac said:
I'll not tell the "red down the chin/neck" story again though some here have equaled or topped it.

I did hook up with the roommate of a good female friend from high school. She went to UGA and moved into O house with a girl who was very liberated.

So we go out and see some bands (The Replacements, IIRC) and get back to their room. My friend and her BF are in the bottom bunk and me and other chickie get up top. At one point, she tells me to wait and proceeds to pull out her sanguine and soaked tampon. She then tosses it towards the large window, intending it to simply fall 12 or so stories down to the parking lot below.

The window was closed and it just splattered against the glass. She cheerfully hops down- totally naked and in full view of everyone in the room- peels it off the glass, slides open the window, and drops it onto a car below.

I was enthralled by her pure lasciviousness. I put DNA on every square inch of her body.

The next morning, I'm in the shower (O house has two suites per bathroom) which is opaque glass. She opens the door to the bathroom and proceeds to sit on the toilet. I tell her I'm almost done and will be out in a minute.

She nonchalantly replies, "Oh, that's okay. I'm just taking a dump. Do you want to go get breakfast?" All I can think is, "Outstanding."

That weekend is seared into my brain.
Click to expand...

I would've married that girl.
 
94Deac said:
I'll not tell the "red down the chin/neck" story again though some here have equaled or topped it.

I did hook up with the roommate of a good female friend from high school. She went to UGA and moved into O house with a girl who was very liberated.

So we go out and see some bands (The Replacements, IIRC) and get back to their room. My friend and her BF are in the bottom bunk and me and other chickie get up top. At one point, she tells me to wait and proceeds to pull out her sanguine and soaked tampon. She then tosses it towards the large window, intending it to simply fall 12 or so stories down to the parking lot below.

The window was closed and it just splattered against the glass. She cheerfully hops down- totally naked and in full view of everyone in the room- peels it off the glass, slides open the window, and drops it onto a car below.

I was enthralled by her pure lasciviousness. I put DNA on every square inch of her body.

The next morning, I'm in the shower (O house has two suites per bathroom) which is opaque glass. She opens the door to the bathroom and proceeds to sit on the toilet. I tell her I'm almost done and will be out in a minute.

She nonchalantly replies, "Oh, that's okay. I'm just taking a dump. Do you want to go get breakfast?" All I can think is, "Outstanding."

That weekend is seared into my brain.
Click to expand...

Wow.
 
ellisat2 said:
who the fuck is bluefish
Click to expand...

he's a poster on the other board.

I do love your use of unnamed sources.

I can tell you who the three people who knew me best were (and only 76 was ever that close to me):

1976deac- he was close for my senior year...his freshman year. Most of the craziness had graduated by then.

deacref- lived on my hall in New Dorm. He's a good guy but didn't "participate" with us.......except in the ping pong events...where as I've said he was the star and I was on the periphery.

Bluefish- we didn't hang that much but were definite buds.

Braces and I knew each other at a distance...which means barely.

If you think there is anyone else, tell me who and PM their real names.
 
WhatUTalkinBout Willis said:
Once in HS I took my GF to Durant Nature Park in North Raleigh to hook up on a sleeping bag on a little meadow they had. We're having a great time, butb all of a sudden there's two park rangers RIGHT THERE shining their light on us. So we're scrambling to get dressed and one says "Nah, you guys just stay here and enjoy yourselves. This is the most action we've had in this park since the beaver dam broke."

I totally lost it on the irony of this guy's comment and gave them a cold beer out of the back of my truck to say thanks.
Click to expand...

Same thing happened to me at Falls Lake, except we were in a convertible with the top down. Rangers made us stop, unfortunately. Fortunately, the other usual spot was not taken, so we just drove there.
 
When I was in school, I really was into this girl - absolutely banging body and extremely laid back, really easy to talk to. I had had a "girlfriend" when we first met, so we were just buddies and talked about stuff. Turns out she came from a really messed up family background, her father was in jail for molesting her and her sister, etc. (YES WARNING SIGNS RUN YOUNG MAN - but damn, she was racked and stacked like you wouldn't believe and I was stupid and 19).

Long story short, I broke up with the "girlfriend" and within a week this girl and I were back at my place getting down to business. She's on all fours, I'm behind her feeling like a champion and then she starts screaming "OH YEAH DADDY SPANK ME HARD YOU KNOW I LIKE THAT DADDY". You've never seen a boner deflate so fast.
 
i only have one more that people would probably want to read.

Post exams, junior year. We're at what has to be the shittiest hotel in North Myrtle, but we have the whole building and are causing a ruckus with the PiPhis who are in the Helmsman across the street.

Well, we all go out one night to Pirate's Cove, and get torn UP drinking tequila and tabasco. Really a very good time. So, I've been having a great week with this girl and we decide to head back together because she's "not feeling well" and asked me to walk her back. I'm down because sh'e really tall and good looking.

So we get back to the rat trap hotel and no one is there, so we start going at it. Once, twice, and on the third go round people are filtering back from the bars.

This DOES NOT abate her enthusiasm. In fact quite the opposite, she wants to do more, be louder, etc. So whatever, I've been living with these fuck-tards for 3 years, they've seen everything I've got. I just stay right in there with her. Well, I get her flipped around doggy, and she says way too loud "PUT IT IN MY ASS."

I was sort of surprised. The 4 people who had come back and passed out in the room were WAY more surprised. Two started scrambling for the door. But the other two (a couple) do not. Well at this point I'm sort of frozen, on the brink of following her instruction.

Real quietly, from the other bed in the room I hear, "yeah, mine too." My buddy and I (who was in the other bed) have celebrated this occurance many times since that day.
 
DeaconSig said:
Same thing happened to me at Falls Lake, except we were in a convertible with the top down. Rangers made us stop, unfortunately. Fortunately, the other usual spot was not taken, so we just drove there.
Click to expand...

Ah, getting down at Falls Dam. Brings back memories.
 
early on my freshman year i was making out with this girl in her bed in bostwick. she kept on messing around with my junk but was too conservative to actually finish the job. This continued for multiple hours until I had concluded that it was an unworthy cause and left. However, on my way back to Palmer the blue balls got so bad that I ended up puking all over the bridge near the miller center.

:panda:
 
Last edited:
DirtySouthDeacon said:
I had to kick a girl out my bedroom window because she was to ugly to walk past my roommates to the front door.

I went down on a girl who smelled so bad her name for the next four years was "stinky"

I got a bloody nose while humping a girl.

I had a girl squirt on me so much that I thought I had popped a hole in the water bed (yes, water bed, I am that old).

I was 69 w a girl and her chiwawa (sp?) jumped up on the bed and was licking my ass.

There are more, but it is early.
Click to expand...

laughing so hard my back hurts
 
WhatUTalkinBout Willis said:
i only have one more that people would probably want to read.

Post exams, junior year. We're at what has to be the shittiest hotel in North Myrtle, but we have the whole building and are causing a ruckus with the PiPhis who are in the Helmsman across the street.

Well, we all go out one night to Pirate's Cove, and get torn UP drinking tequila and tabasco. Really a very good time. So, I've been having a great week with this girl and we decide to head back together because she's "not feeling well" and asked me to walk her back. I'm down because sh'e really tall and good looking.

So we get back to the rat trap hotel and no one is there, so we start going at it. Once, twice, and on the third go round people are filtering back from the bars.

This DOES NOT abate her enthusiasm. In fact quite the opposite, she wants to do more, be louder, etc. So whatever, I've been living with these fuck-tards for 3 years, they've seen everything I've got. I just stay right in there with her. Well, I get her flipped around doggy, and she says way too loud "PUT IT IN MY ASS."

I was sort of surprised. The 4 people who had come back and passed out in the room were WAY more surprised. Two started scrambling for the door. But the other two (a couple) do not. Well at this point I'm sort of frozen, on the brink of following her instruction.

Real quietly, from the other bed in the room I hear, "yeah, mine too." My buddy and I (who was in the other bed) have celebrated this occurance many times since that day.
Click to expand...

Wait, so your buddy said that as a joke or your buddy was with a girl who was imploring him to also PIITB?

I have a female who is a very good friend. Maybe even my best friend at this point. Anyway, after a long time of us being friendly but never having sex, the inevitable happened a few months back. We finally did it. However, I didn't have a rubber on me because I wasn't expecting to get laid. Telling her this, she merely shrugged and said, "Put it in the other hole." Score! It shocked me quite a bit because we had exchanged a lot of sex stories and never once did she mention an affinity for anal.
 
94Deac said:
I'll not tell the "red down the chin/neck" story again though some here have equaled or topped it.

I did hook up with the roommate of a good female friend from high school. She went to UGA and moved into O house with a girl who was very liberated.

So we go out and see some bands (The Replacements, IIRC) and get back to their room. My friend and her BF are in the bottom bunk and me and other chickie get up top. At one point, she tells me to wait and proceeds to pull out her sanguine and soaked tampon. She then tosses it towards the large window, intending it to simply fall 12 or so stories down to the parking lot below.

The window was closed and it just splattered against the glass. She cheerfully hops down- totally naked and in full view of everyone in the room- peels it off the glass, slides open the window, and drops it onto a car below.

I was enthralled by her pure lasciviousness. I put DNA on every square inch of her body.

The next morning, I'm in the shower (O house has two suites per bathroom) which is opaque glass. She opens the door to the bathroom and proceeds to sit on the toilet. I tell her I'm almost done and will be out in a minute.

She nonchalantly replies, "Oh, that's okay. I'm just taking a dump. Do you want to go get breakfast?" All I can think is, "Outstanding."

That weekend is seared into my brain.
Click to expand...

the entire story is fantastic, but it would have been better if the bolded section went down like when peter griffin tries to throw out chris's dead frog
 
WhatUTalkinBout Willis said:
i only have one more that people would probably want to read.

Post exams, junior year. We're at what has to be the shittiest hotel in North Myrtle, but we have the whole building and are causing a ruckus with the PiPhis who are in the Helmsman across the street.

Well, we all go out one night to Pirate's Cove, and get torn UP drinking tequila and tabasco. Really a very good time. So, I've been having a great week with this girl and we decide to head back together because she's "not feeling well" and asked me to walk her back. I'm down because sh'e really tall and good looking.

So we get back to the rat trap hotel and no one is there, so we start going at it. Once, twice, and on the third go round people are filtering back from the bars.

This DOES NOT abate her enthusiasm. In fact quite the opposite, she wants to do more, be louder, etc. So whatever, I've been living with these fuck-tards for 3 years, they've seen everything I've got. I just stay right in there with her. Well, I get her flipped around doggy, and she says way too loud "PUT IT IN MY ASS."

I was sort of surprised. The 4 people who had come back and passed out in the room were WAY more surprised. Two started scrambling for the door. But the other two (a couple) do not. Well at this point I'm sort of frozen, on the brink of following her instruction.

Real quietly, from the other bed in the room I hear, "yeah, mine too." My buddy and I (who was in the other bed) have celebrated this occurance many times since that day.
Click to expand...
Prairie Fires, very nice...

Also, did your place happen to be Floyd's? I loved that dump
 
vadimivich said:
When I was in school, I really was into this girl - absolutely banging body and extremely laid back, really easy to talk to. I had had a "girlfriend" when we first met, so we were just buddies and talked about stuff. Turns out she came from a really messed up family background, her father was in jail for molesting her and her sister, etc. (YES WARNING SIGNS RUN YOUNG MAN - but damn, she was racked and stacked like you wouldn't believe and I was stupid and 19).

Long story short, I broke up with the "girlfriend" and within a week this girl and I were back at my place getting down to business. She's on all fours, I'm behind her feeling like a champion and then she starts screaming "OH YEAH DADDY SPANK ME HARD YOU KNOW I LIKE THAT DADDY". You've never seen a boner deflate so fast.
Click to expand...

I had a girl that was riding me like a Triple Crown jockey that just kept screaming, "I'm a big girl, I'm a big girl" (Ed. Note: She was not a fatty boombah) It freaked me the fuck out.

I had another time in law school where I ran into some girl from my high school youth group at the bar. She had a kid, but whatever. We start getting down for the get down, and I saddle up and all of the sudden she says, "Oh my god. The last time this happened I had a baby 9 months later". I promptly drove her home.
 
EatLeadCommie said:
Wait, so your buddy said that as a joke or your buddy was with a girl who was imploring him to also PIITB?

I have a female who is a very good friend. Maybe even my best friend at this point. Anyway, after a long time of us being friendly but never having sex, the inevitable happened a few months back. We finally did it. However, I didn't have a rubber on me because I wasn't expecting to get laid. Telling her this, she merely shrugged and said, "Put it in the other hole." Score! It shocked me quite a bit because we had exchanged a lot of sex stories and never once did she mention an affinity for anal.
Click to expand...

First-Date-Anal.jpg
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top