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Marriage

Bronson Pinchot

Bronson Pinchot

Sam Cronin
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My friends are getting married in droves. I wouldn't say it bothers me, I'm happy if they're happy, but I've always seen it as a really bizarre and fucked up institution. There's a lot of arcane symbolism behind a father walking down the aisle and delivering his daughter to the groom. The taking of the female surname is so weird, though I know it's less than ubiquitous nowadays. All of it reeks of a sort of gender slavery, yet in my experience, it seems to be women who want so badly to get married in the first place.

I won't even get into the yonic symbolism of the rings, the evolution of the dowry and other financial matters, the hypocrisy of the "sanctity" debate, or any number of other things.

I'll bottom line it so as to actually (potentially) foster discussion. Does anybody else share my concerns, or is this one of those customs/traditions that has stood the test of time because it's good, keeps families together, etc?

Looking for both male and female perspective here. Some of the most staunch feminists I know still want that certificate and what not, so I'm interested to hear perspectives (and expect the tags to be ruthless).
 
Sure, a lot of the symbolism behind it is rooted in really archaic practices but I think most of that has morphed into totally different meanings today. And if it bothers you you can change the ceremony to fit with your beliefs. Both of my parents walked with me down the aisle, both of his parents walked with him down the aisle, there was no "who gives this woman away", etc. Things that I think are silly/old fashioned mostly didn't happen. And there are definitely practical reasons to get married, like others said.
 
The greatest trick I ever pulled was somehow getting like at least half of my family to think I'm gay and stop asking when I'm getting married
 
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Origins link back to using marriage as a way to know who is to father the child of a woman. No longer that need for monogamy.
 
there's a lot of security in being married. plus i'm a traditionalist and like all the mush.
 
Other than that lack of a vag thing, Little Mermaid is perfect. Can't talk, can't run away and is pretty damn cute.
 
I think growing up in a house with married parents amongst a community of friends with mostly married parents, I'm hardwired to be pro-marriage. However, leaving any tradition un-analyzed is bad practice, and I think there is a lot about the current American conception of marriage that is bad. Just looking at the divorce rate can show you that it isn't working as is.

For some people, I think the idea of commitment and stability is important for them and gives them structure for a healthier life. For others, I think it can be stifling. There is no one-size-fits-all, but the current culture landscape offers limited socially acceptable options, particularly in the South. I think the key to any decision like this -- one that leans heavily on tradition -- is to think critically about why you're doing what you're doing. If you can't articulate a strong argument in favor of the traditional route then it's necessary to look in a different direction.

With my most recent girlfriend, I explained that I wanted to get married, but probably wouldn't be comfortable getting a diamond ring. Her last name is cooler than mine and has more meaning to her than mine does to me, so I planned to take her last name if we got married.

Personally, I want to raise my children in a situation with at least two adults in the home (or community; I'm on some hippie shit). I don't know enough sociology or psychology to point to anything empirical, but I think it's best for most children (and therefore society) to be raised in a home with extensive and somewhat diverse adult influence.
 
Look no further than the Pit Parenting thread for reasons to be wary of marriage. Marriage inevitably leads to babies.
 
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Deacfreak07 said:
You mean like 50% of his assets?
Click to expand...

not at all. i can take perfectly good care of myself. I mean like having a life partner/someone to raise your children with/someone who will always be by your side. That kind of security. being married ups the ante on all of that.
 
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