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Marriage

TWDeac said:
Look no further than the Pit Parenting thread for reasons to be wary of marriage. Marriage inevitably leads to babies.
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And horny married men with babies and a wife with no interest!
 
It is bullshit that we give tax breaks to married people. I understand people with children, but why should two married workers have a smaller combined tax burden than two single people?
 
dashionista said:
not at all. i can take perfectly good care of myself. I mean like having a life partner/someone to raise your children with/someone who will always be by your side. That kind of security. being married ups the ante on all of that.
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why the fuck would I want somebody around for the remainder of my life and who will always be by my side?
 
dashionista said:
not at all. i can take perfectly good care of myself. I mean like having a life partner/someone to raise your children with/someone who will always be by your side. That kind of security. being married ups the ante on all of that.
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Doesn't our divorce rate kind of negate that security?
 
I've been married to the same woman for 30 years. Wouldn't have it any other way. It was fun raising our kids together and it's fun now when they come home for things like Christmas and Thanksgiving.
 
OliveGardenDeac said:
It is bullshit that we give tax breaks to married people. I understand people with children, but why should two married workers have a smaller combined tax burden than two single people?
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i've always had this opinion too. but if you look at a lot of the tax code, it's kind of consistent. like the government, right or wrong, tries to incentivize things that are considered beneficial for society (home ownership, charitable giving, etc). marriage is one of those things. i'm not saying it's right (in fact, i think that if there were less of a financial benefit to being married, more people would consider the kind of commitment that they really are willing to make, and perhaps marriages would be based on values more important than money), but it's why it happens.
 
Deacfreak07 said:
Doesn't our divorce rate kind of negate that security?
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not among those with college degrees who married past the age of 22. i come from a long line of happy marriages-- not a single divorce among my parents/grandparents/aunts/uncles. i have a very positive outlook on marriage as a result.
 
look, bronson, if you're too cheap to buy the girl a ring just tell her. don't be hatin on an institution because you'd rather spend it on sweet stuff like a segway or something
 
Older posters: I am 33. When will my friends start getting divorced?
 
Pretty much every branch of my family has been divorced. Both sets of grandparents, my parents, my one sister, my aunts and uncles. It's a terrible thing.
 
dashionista said:
not among those with college degrees who married past the age of 22. i come from a long line of happy marriages-- not a single divorce among my parents/grandparents/aunts/uncles. i have a very positive outlook on marriage as a result.
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Just saying that marriage doesn't make a monogamous relationship immune. Would your family members in committed relationships be less committed to each other without the ring, ceremony, etc.?
 
dashionista said:
not among those with college degrees who married past the age of 22. i come from a long line of happy marriages-- not a single divorce among my parents/grandparents/aunts/uncles. i have a very positive outlook on marriage as a result.
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My parents have both been divorced multiple times. Aunt has been divorced, brother has been divorced (I wouldn't be surprised if he was on his second in a year or so), sister's only a year + in, so I have hope for her.

But yeah, I haven't had great examples.
 
My parents were married for 30+ years and miserable. Then my dad died and left my mom all the money. She was pondering leaving him in the last few years but was happy she stuck it out.
 
seventwofour said:
I think growing up in a house with married parents amongst a community of friends with mostly married parents, I'm hardwired to be pro-marriage. However, leaving any tradition un-analyzed is bad practice, and I think there is a lot about the current American conception of marriage that is bad. Just looking at the divorce rate can show you that it isn't working as is.

For some people, I think the idea of commitment and stability is important for them and gives them structure for a healthier life. For others, I think it can be stifling. There is no one-size-fits-all, but the current culture landscape offers limited socially acceptable options, particularly in the South. I think the key to any decision like this -- one that leans heavily on tradition -- is to think critically about why you're doing what you're doing. If you can't articulate a strong argument in favor of the traditional route then it's necessary to look in a different direction.
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Really well said.
 
dashionista said:
not among those with college degrees who married past the age of 22. i come from a long line of happy marriages-- not a single divorce among my parents/grandparents/aunts/uncles. i have a very positive outlook on marriage as a result.
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I was going to post this.

This is a good read on the inflation of the divorce statistics: http://www.nytimes.com/2005/04/19/health/19divo.html?_r=0 that we read in my family law class.

"In fact, they say, studies find that the divorce rate in the United States has never reached one in every two marriages, and new research suggests that, with rates now declining, it probably never will."

"The method preferred by social scientists in determining the divorce rate is to calculate how many people who have ever married subsequently divorced. Counted that way, the rate has never exceeded about 41 percent, researchers say. Although sharply rising rates in the 1970's led some to project that the number would keep increasing, the rate has instead begun to inch downward."

"According to the report, for people born in 1955 or later, "the proportion ever divorced had actually declined," compared with those among people born earlier. And, compared with women married before 1975, those married since 1975 had slightly better odds of reaching their 10th and 15th wedding anniversaries with their marriages still intact."

"As the overall divorce rates shot up from the early 1960's through the late 1970's, Dr. Martin found, the divorce rate for women with college degrees and those without moved in lockstep, with graduates consistently having about one-third to one-fourth the divorce rate of nongraduates.

But since 1980, the two groups have taken diverging paths. Women without undergraduate degrees have remained at about the same rate, their risk of divorce or separation within the first 10 years of marriage hovering at around 35 percent. But for college graduates, the divorce rate in the first 10 years of marriage has plummeted to just over 16 percent of those married between 1990 and 1994 from 27 percent of those married between 1975 and 1979."

"About 60 percent of all marriages that eventually end in divorce do so within the first 10 years, researchers say. If that continues to hold true, the divorce rate for college graduates who married between 1990 and 1994 would end up at only about 25 percent, compared to well over 50 percent for those without a four-year college degree."
 
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it's right for some people, not right for other people. I feel bad for people who feel like they HAVE to get married
 
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