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Marriage

bojanglefunk said:
It should only count as first-time because the others aren't really engagement rings, but are new rings to replace the engagement ring.
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true, but do the stores know that? to them, is it not just all diamond rings?
 
bojanglefunk said:
Ah. My bad. I think those should count then, I read it as when people get new stones etc. as a gift when they get older.
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no, you were right the first time. i'm talking about the people who upgrade the diamonds. it just seems to me that a diamond upgrade shouldn't be included in the same calculation for the average price of engagement rings. but i'm assuming that stores (excluding small boutique-y stores) don't necessarily know/care if it's engagement or upgrading.
 
My bad. Would think more people remarry than upgrade, but I really have no idea. In each case, they are probably buying a nicer ring the second go around.

I would think a lot of people who were upgrading would go in as a couple. Or if it is a surprise for an anniversary, etc. any store is going to know if it's engagement or upgrading after the guy speaks 1 or 2 sentences. Whether or not the store cares enough to note that is another story.
 
Yeah, my wife and I have talked briefly about upgrading her already nice ring and once we figured out how much it would cost to do anything that would be appreciably larger we realized that there are a lot of other things we would rather do with our money. But if I were to walk into the store and start talking to a salesperson about it, they would know pretty quickly that it would be an upgrade rather than an engagement. That would probably also make them more willing to give in on price I would think since they know I don't have to buy a ring at all.
 
qcdeac said:
My bad. Would think more people remarry than upgrade, but I really have no idea. In each case, they are probably buying a nicer ring the second go around.

I would think a lot of people who were upgrading would go in as a couple. Or if it is a surprise for an anniversary, etc. any store is going to know if it's engagement or upgrading after the guy speaks 1 or 2 sentences. Whether or not the store cares enough to note that is another story.
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i guess this is more where i was going with it. i'm assuming they don't ring them up any differently. it's still a diamond ring to them, regardless. so when it comes time to calculate what the average price is, i'd imagine they'd just take the total amount of all diamond rings, and divide by the number. not sort through whether they were engagements or upgrades.
 
DeacHoops said:
i get upset when people tell me it's "my" day. no, no it's not. first of all, if you're going to say something along those lines, at least say that it's "our" day. it is not about ME. it is about US. but even then, i don't really think it's just "our" day. it's our day TO CELEBRATE WITH THOSE WHO MATTER TO US. i believe it IS largely about the guests. if it wasn't about the guests, then i feel like elopement would be a better option.
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This x infinity. Thank goodness my parents agreed with this philosophy as well, so there were no fights when planning the wedding. We all just had a lot of fun planning a kick ass party.
 
TuffaloDeac10 said:
2nd this. If your own wedding wasn't totally awesome, you made a grave mistake somewhere
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A lot of things about my wedding were great, especially because my wife's parents involved me in the planning. I wasn't saying that weddings can't be/aren't fun because they are bride focused.
 
Bronson Pinchot said:
My friends are getting married in droves. I wouldn't say it bothers me, I'm happy if they're happy, but I've always seen it as a really bizarre and fucked up institution. There's a lot of arcane symbolism behind a father walking down the aisle and delivering his daughter to the groom. The taking of the female surname is so weird, though I know it's less than ubiquitous nowadays. All of it reeks of a sort of gender slavery, yet in my experience, it seems to be women who want so badly to get married in the first place.

I won't even get into the yonic symbolism of the rings, the evolution of the dowry and other financial matters, the hypocrisy of the "sanctity" debate, or any number of other things.

I'll bottom line it so as to actually (potentially) foster discussion. Does anybody else share my concerns, or is this one of those customs/traditions that has stood the test of time because it's good, keeps families together, etc?

Looking for both male and female perspective here. Some of the most staunch feminists I know still want that certificate and what not, so I'm interested to hear perspectives (and expect the tags to be ruthless).
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3.5 years later, i was married
 
i misused the word "arcane" pretty badly
 
Per this time of year, are there wives out there who still try to make Valentine's Day a thing? I keep seeing commercials of doofy guys buying their wives overpriced jewelry from Jared and hiding it in the fridge or some shit. Meanwhile, I don't think I could point to a single woman in my circle of married friends who thinks Valentine's is legit (my wife included, thank jebus), at least not publicly.
 
CantStandYa said:
Per this time of year, are there wives out there who still try to make Valentine's Day a thing? I keep seeing commercials of doofy guys buying their wives overpriced jewelry from Jared and hiding it in the fridge or some shit. Meanwhile, I don't think I could point to a single woman in my circle of married friends who thinks Valentine's is legit (my wife included, thank jebus), at least not publicly.
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We use it as an excuse to cook an indulgent meal. We're doing the Serious Eats cheese fondue recipe, which was a hit last year. Year before we recreated the lobster spaghetti we got from Joe Beef in Montreal.
 
El Chupacabra said:
My parents have both been divorced multiple times. Aunt has been divorced, brother has been divorced (I wouldn't be surprised if he was on his second in a year or so), sister's only a year + in, so I have hope for her.

But yeah, I haven't had great examples.
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Was wondering what I had to say on this thread -- a year after my bro did, in fact, get divorced again. Good call, me.
 
I'm likely gonna get divorced, but only cause I did my #taxmath and discovered if I get married before year end the government will owe me 10 grand.
 
CantStandYa said:
Per this time of year, are there wives out there who still try to make Valentine's Day a thing? I keep seeing commercials of doofy guys buying their wives overpriced jewelry from Jared and hiding it in the fridge or some shit. Meanwhile, I don't think I could point to a single woman in my circle of married friends who thinks Valentine's is legit (my wife included, thank jebus), at least not publicly.
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We made a tradition of going to the State Fair if V-Day is on a weekday. Very light crowd and we can still eat well.
 
whew. glad I didn't have anything ridiculous to say in here.
 
lbE08 said:
my grandparents just celebrated their 59th anniversary (when mom asked what they were doing, my grandma said "oh honey, it's not a big one... we'll do something grand next year." i love my grandma so much.), she and granddaddy are 84. my parents are coming up on their 32nd.

i want that.
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Oh, and this is still true... (grandma and granddaddy just celebrated 63yrs in January and mom/dad are now coming up on 36 in a couple of weeks).

The "something grand" referenced in the post above was a nice dinner with my grandparents, all of their kids, and their kids' respective families. All together that ended up being 16 people (today it's more, with additional engagements and great-grandkids). We had a nice meal, then the grandkids had an opportunity to say something that's been meaningful for us in terms of the importance of family and how that's shaped us into the people we are today, and my grandfather had some pretty incredible words to share regarding the legacy he feels he's leaving by having "created this" (referring to the family). It was hugely powerful, and I still aspire to achieve that for myself.
 
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