lbE08
Stegosaurus are bush league
- Joined
- Mar 16, 2011
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Perhaps the most uncomfortable moment of my engagement came just one day in. I had told one of my colleagues about the proposal and showed her the ring, and since we work in an open plan female-dominated work place, word spread. One of the older women in the office, whom I am not close to and would not have chosen to share with, approached me to "offer congratulations" and literally grabbed my left hand while demanding "so what does he do?" without even looking at my face. Her disappointment in both my answer and the ring was clear. This is not how we make other women feel positive about their choices, or let them know that it's OK to stray outside the lines.
The dialogue around engagements needs to change. Let's turn "how many karats?" into "how do you feel?" Let's stop thinking about the wedding and start rejoicing in the marriage. Let's wait to be told whether the engagement was about the ring, or the question, or the partner, or the moment.
regardless of the rest, i think this is pretty spot-on...
my feelings of the ring are this: no, it ultimately doesn't and really shouldn't matter, but unfortunately it does carry weight and can affect your engagement experience. you tell people you're engaged, the first thing people say is "ooh! let's see it!" (or they offer congrats while stealing glances at your left hand). as excited as you might be, if you're at all apprehensive about what other people might think about the ring it can steal some of your thunder because try as we all might to ignore them, the opinions of others matter. it sucks that they do and i wish they didnt, but i think many (NOT all, and i recognize that) girls would agree. that said, even if you truly don't care what others think... if a guy is doing a ring, he should take into account the likes/dislikes of the fiancee so it's something she can know and love as her own. size doesn't matter, but the look of the ring still does.
flame away.