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The Great Coronatine Peace Accords

mako1331

mako1331

Son of Mako's Mom
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So as not to monopolize the chat thread, I felt it necessary to start a new thread here. Some are using this time of social distancing to bond with family, others to dedicate themselves to spiritual and physical health. Perhaps one among us now is currently crafting the great American novel. I say fuck all that noise. I hereby dedicate my quarantine life to solving the greatest conflict the boards have known, the eternal battle between RJ and the usual suspects. If I can accomplish this, than my impending corona or toddler related demise shall not be in vain.

I hereby open negotiations with the following request. Rj, please craft a list of the usual suspects in a timely manner. Afterwards, if you find yourself on the list, you may in turn ask a single request of RJ, which, if I find reasonable and practical, I will ask Rj to adhere to, on the condition that you in turn adhere to a similarly practical and reasonable request from RJ in turn. You may rest on my impartiality here, as I love you all equally. Except for angus, sailor, and 22. Seriously, fuck those guys.

Rj, please proceed as expeditiously as possible. Time is of the essence. Though the world crumbles around us, it’s not too late to salvage a pale glimmer of hope in the waning days of humanity, and civilizations that emerge from the wreckage of our once mighty world may point to these accords as a time of reason despite the insanity that encroaches upon us all as we speak.
 
As you can see, Townie has already said no. Most of the rest will as well. Like him, there will multitude of excuses.

I will agree to be civil and respectful. That's all that matters.

Offering each person a specific request is unrealistic and unfair to me. That list is going to be offensive and ridiculous. All I've ever asked is civility and respect. Why can't that be the deal?

As Lowell George said:

 
Work with me here RJ. You take the first step and others will follow. Make the list and we will work through these beers individually. Even if we don’t solve them all, if we can mend one bond, the effort will not have been wasted.
 
Beefs, not beers. Although beers probably will help as well. If you’re really serious about civility and a kinder board, give the process a chance.
 
Ok here’s my request now that I’ve been named

rj buys (or rents, they may be expensive) a theremin

He practices for a matter of weeks or months, however long it takes

He then records and posts a video of himself playing Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Once that is done I will refrain from talking about or to rj forever.
 
If you don't get them all, the remaining ones will go overboard to get a response and scuttle it.

Only two things are off the board- no jokes and each person gets a request/demand of me. I will agree to no jokes on the virus threads.

The most important things are civility and respect. That's a Herculean leap for many.

I'm willing to treat them all like that. I can't understand why they refuse agree to do the same.
 
Goddamn it, Townie. That’s a reasonable request. As an initial counter, I suggest that you instead credit Rj the cost of theremin rental and deduct it from the overall monthly Venmo payment he sends for the space he occupies in your head.

Rj. I await your counter request to Townie.
 
TownieDeac said:
Ok here’s my request now that I’ve been named

rj buys (or rents, they may be expensive) a theremin

He practices for a matter of weeks or months, however long it takes

He then records and posts a video of himself playing Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Once that is done I will refrain from talking about or to rj forever.
Click to expand...

You don't want that. I may be able to produce, but I can't sing. In fact, some of my musician friends pull off the road if I start singing. Believe me, I'm doing a public service.
 
Why can't it be SIMPLE?

Treat others with civility and respect.

It can't be any simpler than that. Why are there any extraneous conditions?
 
Because the civility hasn’t worked, friend. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Now what is your counter request for Townie. Let’s work through beef number one.
 
I'm out if it's anything else. I'm not jumping through hoops and then watching them renege.

I have no counter. You wanted peace and civility. I agreed with no other conditions.

It's on them. Why can't they agree to that?
 
Jesus. Now I know how Obama felt.

How can we bring you to the table, RJ? The Contingent of Usual Suspects requests a gesture of good will to start the negotiations.
 
You want civility. You want peace. I am 100% on board with that.

Why would I have to do stupid shit to make them happy? I am willing to treat each of them with respect and civility that they have never afforded me. That's a helluva a gesture of good will. One none of them is willing to give.

Board peace is a tremendous accomplishment.
 
As a demonstration of mutual desire to move forward in the peace process, I hereby formally call for a 24 hour ceasefire in all hostilities between the two parties, lasting from midnight tonight until midnight tomorrow. If both groups can adhere to this pause in conflict, we can proceed in the peace negotiations. I will use this time to research affordable theremin rentals in the greater LA area, and would ask that all parties use this thread as an area for constructive dialogue on how to proceed once the initial terms are met. I welcome outside counsel from objective and neutral posters at this time as well.

Rj, can you agree to these initial terms?
 
Simple solution. RJ puts us all on ignore, we put all put RJ on ignore, RJ stops posting.
 
I like the theremin idea better personally, Biff. Can you agree to the 24 hour cessation of hostilities?
 
mako1331 said:
As a demonstration of mutual desire to move forward in the peace process, I hereby formally call for a 24 hour ceasefire in all hostilities between the two parties, lasting from midnight tonight until midnight tomorrow. If both groups can adhere to this pause in conflict, we can proceed in the peace negotiations. I will use this time to research affordable theremin rentals in the greater LA area, and would ask that all parties use this thread as an area for constructive dialogue on how to proceed once the initial terms are met. I welcome outside counsel from objective and neutral posters at this time as well.

Rj, can you agree to these initial terms?
Click to expand...

I was wrong to take you seriously. Nice job...

At least I caught on before continuing any further.
 
I understand the paranoia that may accompany being surrounded by foes on every side, RJ. But we’re all isolated enough at this point. Adhere to the 24 hour cease fire and we can proceed from there. No one said this process would be easy, friend.
 
I already know how this thread is going to go, so . . . nahhhhh !!!
 
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