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The Pit Parenting Thread

dot com said:
Flying cross country with a 1yo, 4yo, and stressed out wife for the first time tomorrow.
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Good luck. Car seat or not for the 1 year old?
 
awakeandready said:
We suck and haven't done this yet soo Id appreciate some guidance here as well!
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My financial adviser is recommending Roth Ira over 529 for college savings; the Roth IRAs are ultimately more flexible and if I remember correctly don't count against you for financial aid like a 529 does. Lots of information out there if you google the topic.
 
So I'm kind of pissed at the parents in my neighborhood.

[rant forthcoming]

We moved to a new neighborhood 2 years ago. Great house, nice neighbors, active community. Just overall a good situation except due to the recent history of the area, we aren't zoned for the A+ elementary school located at the only entrance to the neighborhood. Our neighborhood is zoned for a school 15 minutes away while the neighborhood across the road from that school is zoned for the school at the entrance to our neighborhood. As you can imagine, it led to traffic nightmares during drop off and pickup. Sometimes it would take people 30+ minutes to the neighborhood from a mile or so away.

When my wife and I realized the situation, we started working with two women in the neighborhood to petition the school board and the elementary school to include our neighborhood due to our proximity to the school. (The townhouses in our neighborhood are literally a stone's throw away.) We wrote emails, held meetings, and took concerns from our neighbors. The whole process ended with a meeting between residents, school administrators, and school board members in which the school board essentially agreed with our proximity argument and gave our neighborhood priority choice into the school. This meant any available spots in the school would go to our neighborhood. It was a huge victory. Within a week, my son and other kids got word that we would be able to go to the school. Along with that, we were able to get the city to add a right turn lane into the school, so residents wouldn't have to sit in the school lines.

So everything worked out, right?

Of course not.

There were some legitimate issues to address now that there was car and pedestrian traffic coming from both ways into the school. A few parents from our neighborhood did not handle it well. First week of school last year, two dads cursed out the principal and assistant principal during morning drop off. A few other parents made negative comments about the school to teachers basically demanding new services for the neighborhood. Later in the school year, we found out one of the women we were working with had been sending out these scathing emails to the principal as the "official representative" from our neighborhood.

As a result, the school leadership and teachers hate our neighborhood. We found out today that not a single kid from our neighborhood got into the school this year. It's possible there were no spots available, but teachers and administrators regularly tell my wife and I how annoyed they are with our neighborhood. We still have a great relationship with the principal and they were great with our son last year. My wife and the principal get along really well and would probably be close friends in a different situation.

I'm really pissed. My 3 year old son will get into kindergarten there because the district doesn't separate siblings. But our good friends in the neighborhood have triplets starting kindergarten next year and they'll be screwed. Priority choice was supposed to help build cohesion for the neighborhood and we were planning on making a push for rezoning now for next year. We worked hard to set up a good situation for the neighborhood and a few angry parents wrecked it for everybody. Meanwhile, the developers keep building and within a year, we'll probably have double the residents we had two years ago. Most likely, they'll all be forced out of the neighborhood for school.
 
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Wait for the mass rezoning of any schools bordering your attendance zone and then cause a stink and force the school board to look at the boundaries of the two schools. Take no prisoners burn all bridges. All sides will fight dirty. Logic (the side you claim to be on) has about a 50% chance of prevailing.
 
BiffTannen said:
Turn them into UNC-G fans. Make them live at home.
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Psh I don't want them living at home! We live in WS now but hopefully the benefit of that is that Wake is too close to home.

leftcoastdeac said:
My financial adviser is recommending Roth Ira over 529 for college savings; the Roth IRAs are ultimately more flexible and if I remember correctly don't count against you for financial aid like a 529 does. Lots of information out there if you google the topic.
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But you guys are my Google!

Httd was saying this recently and I was slightly skeptical only because why does everyone do a 529 if this is the case?
 
awakeandready said:
Psh I don't want them living at home! We live in WS now but hopefully the benefit of that is that Wake is too close to home.



But you guys are my Google!

Httd was saying this recently and I was slightly skeptical only because why does everyone do a 529 if this is the case?
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Because people assume their children will go to college? The tax penalties on monies in a 529 that don't go towards education can be kind of steep, and 529s count against need based financial aid differently than Roth IRAs. As I understand it, Roth IRA contributions can be withdrawn tax free for education purposes and end up being more portable for your retirement if your child doesn't go to college. Also, I believe Roth IRAs tend to have more investment options than 529s.

I'm not a financial planner/adviser. I recommend you look into it and/or talk to someone and see what makes the most sense for you and HTTD.
 
Generally, I have read that unless you're maxing out your own retirement accounts not to open a 529.
 
leftcoastdeac said:
Because people assume their children will go to college? The tax penalties on monies in a 529 that don't go towards education can be kind of steep, and 529s count against need based financial aid differently than Roth IRAs. As I understand it, Roth IRA contributions can be withdrawn tax free for education purposes and end up being more portable for your retirement if your child doesn't go to college. Also, I believe Roth IRAs tend to have more investment options than 529s.

I'm not a financial planner/adviser. I recommend you look into it and/or talk to someone and see what makes the most sense for you and HTTD.
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Too late, already sunk all of our money in to a Roth IRA because someone on a message board told me to.
 
leftcoastdeac said:
My financial adviser is recommending Roth Ira over 529 for college savings; the Roth IRAs are ultimately more flexible and if I remember correctly don't count against you for financial aid like a 529 does. Lots of information out there if you google the topic.
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You can put a crap load more money away with a 529. With a Roth, you can only withdraw the contributions tax free.
 
Our financial advisor recommended a 529, but as was suggested above, to be sure we were fully (or very decently) contributing to our own retirement accounts (Roth IRAs plus 401ks) before doing too much in college savings. The old you can borrow for college but not for retirement thing.
 
No daycare for us, but we also are down to one income and have to come out of pocket for insurance, so not exactly smooth sailing financially.
 
Spot the Wonder said:
You can put a crap load more money away with a 529. With a Roth, you can only withdraw the contributions tax free.
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Exactly, the annual max on a Roth is ~ $5,500. Calculate that out for 18 years and it's not quite as much money as you might hope. Also, probably goes without saying but there are income restrictions on who can contribute to a Roth IRA. I think the current limit is ~ $175,000

An unused 529 can be "shared" with a sibling with no penalty. Or as mentioned can be taken out with a sizable penalty.
 
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Almost 6 months old.
 
Sometimes, I think I'm the only person who thinks the door-to-door stuff selling stuff is a good thing. Teaches the kids some skills, forces them to do something outside of their comfort zone, builds rapport in the neighborhood, etc. I think it's a valuable thing.

The bullshit is where they do fun runs and other BS that is put on by some company that takes a cut of it to put it on. Why do you need some company taking some of your money to watch kids run around a damn track? It's just a waste.
 
HalIncandenza said:
Sometimes, I think I'm the only person who thinks the door-to-door stuff selling stuff is a good thing. Teaches the kids some skills, forces them to do something outside of their comfort zone, builds rapport in the neighborhood, etc. I think it's a valuable thing.

The bullshit is where they do fun runs and other BS that is put on by some company that takes a cut of it to put it on. Why do you need some company taking some of your money to watch kids run around a damn track? It's just a waste.
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I don't have kids but it seems like aside from maybe one or two neighbors, kids aren't just knocking on door after door. The parents just bring the order form to work. Even in the mid-90s I wasn't allowed to just roam the neighborhood selling Girl Scout Cookies, I could only talk to people on my street that we knew.
 
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