Man! Does this thread ever bring back some memories. It was the summer of '74 and, as I recollect, it was hot as blazes in the Dash.
The Hebrew Hammer had gotten himself into a wee bit of trouble with the authorities over the Memorial Day Weekend. Winston was more pastoral back then and the Hammer, who never turned down a dare when he was 3 sheets to the wind, had agreed he'd introduce the Provost's goat to some kosher salami. The Hammer was no fool so he wrapped it up, refusing to go bare back. His giant throbbing baloney pony all lubed up in a magnum jimmy hat that still only made it 3/4 down the shaft of his semitic schmeckel. As luck would have it, the area was under police surveillance for some prior unrelated fraternity indiscretions--so the Fox had to hightail it out of there halfway through completion, running for the getaway car with his shorts at his ankles and his full masted bobby dangler bouncing back and forth like a geriatric's head at a Miami old folk's home. He would have gotten away with it of course, except for the damning piece of evidence he left behind: a slicked up, nappy rarely used "red" merkin. Campus police posted pics of Ricky's tonsil tickler toupee, and in no time he was anonymously fingered, for you see, the Hammer, while indubitably a campus legend, had made some powerful enemies along the way.
Anyhoo, this story isn't about Memorial Day weekend, though Rick's tent pole shenanigans certainly led to what happened on July 4, 1974, a day, as they say, that will live in infamy.
I gotta run, but will finish the story later or maybe moonface or Harv can take it from here....
