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What is the kinkiest thing that has ever happened in a Wake dorm room?

Marv said:
Man! Does this thread ever bring back some memories. It was the summer of '74 and, as I recollect, it was hot as blazes in the Dash.

The Hebrew Hammer had gotten himself into a wee bit of trouble with the authorities over the Memorial Day Weekend. Winston was more pastoral back then and the Hammer, who never turned down a dare when he was 3 sheets to the wind, had agreed he'd introduce the Provost's goat to some kosher salami. The Hammer was no fool so he wrapped it up, refusing to go bare back. His giant throbbing baloney pony all lubed up in a magnum jimmy hat that still only made it 3/4 down the shaft of his semitic schmeckel. As luck would have it, the area was under police surveillance for some prior unrelated fraternity indiscretions--so the Fox had to hightail it out of there halfway through completion, running for the getaway car with his shorts at his ankles and his full masted bobby dangler bouncing back and forth like a geriatric's head at a Miami old folk's home. He would have gotten away with it of course, except for the damning piece of evidence he left behind: a slicked up, nappy rarely used "red" merkin. Campus police posted pics of Ricky's tonsil tickler toupee, and in no time he was anonymously fingered, for you see, the Hammer, while indubitably a campus legend, had made some powerful enemies along the way.

Anyhoo, this story isn't about Memorial Day weekend, though Rick's tent pole shenanigans certainly led to what happened on July 4, 1974, a day, as they say, that will live in infamy.

I gotta run, but will finish the story later or maybe moonface or Harv can take it from here....
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Legendary parody
 
lol

Moonz, if you just need someone to talk to, we can help.
 
Marv said:
It was the Spring of '72 and the Hebrew Hammer had been on a tear. His 10 inches of man meat was shredding coeds, townies, hookers, confused asian teen boys, you name it. The Fox was fucking everything in sight and I mean everything.

I think it was a Saturday afternoon and rick came tearing into the dorm, all glassy eyed and reeking of vodka and beers.

"I did it, Marv, I finally did it," he said beaming from ear to ear. "I'm a legend now. I fucked the high priestess. Willie Mae Massey has tasted my load."

Willie Mae Massey was an ARA cafeteria legend; she'd been working at Wake since before the Fox first ever sucked his pre-teenage schlong to completion (the Fox was 8 at the time).

Ricky had been obsessed with her since he first set eyes on her and heard her magic words: "What you be have?"

Well, as Ricky told it, he cornered her in the bread pantry and showed her what he'd be have. He proked her hard and he proked her good--10 long minutes as the crow flies.

Rick said Willie Mae left a puddle on the floor and he walked on out and winked back at her while grabbing a handful of tater tots for the road.

They never fornicated again, but as Rick tells it, from that day on, he always got an oversized portion of fries, a sly smile and a whispered, "bless you child."

That fox could fuck.
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LEGEND
 
Marv said:
Man this brings back the mammaries. Big fat, cottage cheesy and veiny mammaries. That's the way the funky foxx liked em. And boy did ricky like the old broads. I remember this one time when he banged half a nursing home in one week. posed as an orderly and plowed his way through floors 1 through 3 before he got caught. ricky got sloppy this time, and was picked up out back by the dumpster where he'd dump off the used depends diaper of his latest conquest. it was his calling card and the local police nicknamed him the dirty diaper bandit, which of course leaked to the press and caused quite the scandal in town.

of course as luck would have it, rick lawyered up, and the victims to a lady (and one feminine looking old chap--we always assumed rick piitb on that one and no one dared ever ask him about it) swore the sex was consensual, so the foxx got off again as it were

he did have to agree to stay away from nursing homes, parks and K&W cafterias for the rest of his time in winston, but the fox was clever and he found other ways to satiate his incredible sexual appetite for the large chested granny set.
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Comedic genius
 
Marv said:
Don't tell Ricky there is no G Spot. He'd laugh you straight out of town. He had his famous move too. He called it the "dreidel" on account of the way he'd spin his tongue around the holiest of holies like a young child spins a dreidel on the first day of Hanukkah.

One time when he was really trashed, Ricky tried to show us the exact pattern of tongue flagellation flagellation he utilized, but no one could follow it--even when he tried to demonstrate for us on moonface's freshly showered bunghole. The Hammer tried for a few minutes, and the face giggled like a nervous school girl, and we all fell about laughing our heads off while smoking snow caps out of Rick's 3 foot tall bong. But truth be told, no one ever figured out Ricky's patented move and as far as I know he'll take it to his grave.
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As good as it gets
 
HornyWakeCoed said:
I can't remember their names, but a few years back I made it with two sets of twins at the same time. One set were about 6'1" and had that hot herman munster look while the other twins were little people, no taller than 5'2', and they insisted on wearing backwards facing ball caps during the entire orgy. Strangest thing is the tiny twins--practically dwarves come to thing of it--were very well endowed, while the bigguns had near micropenises. I've seen all shapes and sizes so I made it work. Not sure if anyone cares for the details, so let me know....
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Lol
 
Wake plays South Carolina in football. My roommate at the time (status changed shortly after this) was a transfer football player who blew out his knee (s) first day of practice never played a single snap but was on full scholly. He had friends, the middle linebacker and others, from USC. It is 2 am when I am awoken by the shout of "there's a cat, what can we do to it". .. Obviously, the highest class individuals.... Next thing I know, the door swings open and 5 guys storm in with a drunk, giggling co-ed who clearly was willing to pull a train with them all... first problem, I was not included in this scenario and second, my presence and clear displeasure with so rudely being awaken was an issue. The middle linebacker smacked me a few times, someone else rubbed Vienna sausage in my face (not sure where that came from)... I was thrown from my room and outside while the coed took them on. Don't know the details as to how many at any time... but...or butt, I don't know... What I do know is the RA of Poteet couldn't understand what I was so upset about...

I remember a couple who would spend the night in the study room of new dorm and who did the deed in the bathroom in Reynolds Hall (left the window unlocked and had to hide in a stall when a security guard came in)... and there was a ballroom closet on the top floor of Reynolda Hall where the graduation gowns were stored... a dance class discovered the couple in action... I have no doubt the graduation gowns shared a common feature of Monica Lewinski's blue dress...

Then there was the freshman daughter of a trustee who took on a portion of Davis dorm but I am sure someone else might know the details...
 
bluefish said:
This legend was hashed out extensively on the Scout board many years ago. As I recall it involved a homeless woman and not a hooker, although I'm sure those lines could have been blurred. Though widely attributed to the Lambda Chis, and why not, I believe the final analysis pointed to the Alpha Sigs.

That is unless I'm confusing my legends.
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You are correct. It was the Alpha Sigs.
 
oldmandeac said:
Wake plays South Carolina in football. My roommate at the time (status changed shortly after this) was a transfer football player who blew out his knee (s) first day of practice never played a single snap but was on full scholly. He had friends, the middle linebacker and others, from USC. It is 2 am when I am awoken by the shout of "there's a cat, what can we do to it". .. Obviously, the highest class individuals.... Next thing I know, the door swings open and 5 guys storm in with a drunk, giggling co-ed who clearly was willing to pull a train with them all... first problem, I was not included in this scenario and second, my presence and clear displeasure with so rudely being awaken was an issue. The middle linebacker smacked me a few times, someone else rubbed Vienna sausage in my face (not sure where that came from)... I was thrown from my room and outside while the coed took them on. Don't know the details as to how many at any time... but...or butt, I don't know... What I do know is the RA of Poteet couldn't understand what I was so upset about...

I remember a couple who would spend the night in the study room of new dorm and who did the deed in the bathroom in Reynolds Hall (left the window unlocked and had to hide in a stall when a security guard came in)... and there was a ballroom closet on the top floor of Reynolda Hall where the graduation gowns were stored... a dance class discovered the couple in action... I have no doubt the graduation gowns shared a common feature of Monica Lewinski's blue dress...

Then there was the freshman daughter of a trustee who took on a portion of Davis dorm but I am sure someone else might know the details...
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Poster name checks out


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
First time I was pounding a Salem chick and let loose a loud, drawn-out fart. Thirty-six years later, Mrs. DownEastDeac and I will be attending her 40th college reunion later this month.
 
DownEastDeac said:
First time I was pounding a Salem chick and let loose a loud, drawn-out fart. Thirty-six years later, Mrs. DownEastDeac and I will be attending her 40th college reunion later this month.
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Winner!

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Moonz complimenting his own parodies is one of the saddest things on these here rjkarl boards :(
 
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