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When Should I worry that my daughter is not talking.

DeacHoops said:
are we really going all anecdotal? because both of my brothers and i were ALL spanked (they occasionally got the belt. i did not. to this day i still don't know if it's because i'm a girl or because i wasn't as bad as they were). older brother went to duke and now works at morgan stanley. i went to wake and am a CPA with a fortune 300 company. little bro went to carolina and is an i-banker in NYC.

being spanked =/= getting arrested and being a bum.

i'm learning a lot from this thread, but honestly, saying that your brother is a bum because he got spanked is a total stretch. (and i realize you know this because you said it proves nothing. and you were right...it proves nothing)
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It was more a satirical response to all the anecdotal evidence that has been posted, and 1 or 2 people finding it funny when people post it like it means something.

Of course its a stretch. But some people (not necessarily on this thread, just in general) act like the problem with youth today is that they don't get spankings in school or from their parents. There is plenty of evidence, both scientific and anecdotal, that show that being a successful person is far more complex than whether or not you were spanked as a kid.
 
DeacHoops said:
are we really going all anecdotal? because both of my brothers and i were ALL spanked (they occasionally got the belt. i did not. to this day i still don't know if it's because i'm a girl or because i wasn't as bad as they were). older brother went to duke and now works at morgan stanley. i went to wake and am a CPA with a fortune 300 company. little bro went to carolina and is an i-banker in NYC.

being spanked =/= getting arrested and being a bum.

i'm learning a lot from this thread, but honestly, saying that your brother is a bum because he got spanked is a total stretch. (and i realize you know this because you said it proves nothing. and you were right...it proves nothing)
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I think his example was mostly a joke directed at the people giving opposite anecdotal evidence about how people who reason with their kids have terrible kids and they have awesome kids.
 
Though the part about my brother getting shitty tips from Wake students is 100% true. He bitches about it all the time. I told he should have driven faster.
 
Here's my sweeping assessment: a badass parent can punish his/her child, teach a lesson and curb future poor behavior without spanking. Can spanking work? Hell, my folks were proponents of a wiffle bat on the back of my thighs and it worked on me. Hurt like hell though. Now, as a parent I and every other close friend, none of whom spank, raise equally compliant children. None of our kids have been whacked by their parents and I think there is some real value in that.

Spanking is easy. Time outs, taking away privileges, sending to their rooms, dealing with the tears but not giving in - these and other punishment forms require far more skill and fortitude. "Spare the rod, spoil the child" - please. The last thing I want my children to ever be is physically scared of me. But just as it is in schools and will be for them in the workplace, you can be damned sure that they know who the bosses are in our home.
 
rjequalsmj said:
this is a logical consequence, this is what you get if he is hungry enough he will eat it. If he didnt eat and you spanked him that would not teach him to eat better.
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...just wanted to go on record to say that as someone who will probably spank my kids at some point, I would never spank them for not eating their dinner. That's just ridiculous, and I hope you don't think that's what I'm advocating.
 
bym051d said:
Here's how it is at my house.

"I don't like that."
"You don't have to like it, nor do you have to eat it. However, you will get nothing else until you eat it. If you don't eat it tonight, you will see it again for breakfast, for lunch and so on. I guarantee that each time I reheat it, it will not be as good.

Son begrudgingly eats and admits it was actually good.

We don't force everything. We know some food is adult taste. We just don't allow chicken nuggets and fries at every meal.
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So a threat of starving is a better nonviolent punishment than paddling? lollers
 
lbE08 said:
...just wanted to go on record to say that as someone who will probably spank my kids at some point, I would never spank them for not eating their dinner. That's just ridiculous, and I hope you don't think that's what I'm advocating.
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no, I dont think your are advocating that, but I don't see how you can say it is not reasonable in one situation and reasonable in another.
 
Oh yeah well now I'm so rich that I pay for spankings as an adult... so ha! That proves spanking = success.
 
rjequalsmj said:
I think his example was mostly a joke directed at the people giving opposite anecdotal evidence about how people who reason with their kids have terrible kids and they have awesome kids.
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Spanking softens you up so that you might more readily accept reason.
 
Toogs said:
So a threat of starving is a better nonviolent punishment than paddling? lollers
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Lollers... Starving is not providing food. I always provide food that is good and nutritious, unless we allow a fast food treat.

Your comment was absurd.
 
rjequalsmj said:
no, I dont think your are advocating that, but I don't see how you can say it is not reasonable in one situation and reasonable in another.
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the behavior dictates the punishment.
 
bym051d said:
Lollers... Starving is not providing food. I always provide food that is good and nutritious, unless we allow a fast food treat.

Your comment was absurd.
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how so? you said if they never eat it, they never get anything else. that's a threat of starvation (or food poisoning, but only from your perspective--they won't understand that)
 
Toogs said:
how so? you said if they never eat it, they never get anything else. that's a threat of starvation (or food poisoning, but only from your perspective--they won't understand that)
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They get hungry and eat it. He's had dinner for breakfast exactly once. That's all it took to find out I'm serious.

If it ever gets to the point of spoiled food, I'm sure I'd adapt. I can't believe someone would actually think a person would feed his kid spoiled food.
 
For the person who anon neg repped me, I'm sure it was you just being funny / ironic, but there's nothing wrong with giving your kid McDonalds on occasion. It's not exactly healthy food, but on occasion, it's fine.
 
this board sure is different than the suque. the different worlds we live in...
 
rjequalsmj said:
I guess, I just don't think there is any behavior that dictates spanking as a reasonable punishment.
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then it's a good thing we aren't procreating :thumbsup:
 
Note to self: never let my wife see this thread or else she will never agree to move back to the US
 
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