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Non-religious wedding ceremony

DistrictDeacon said:
The height of arrogance, and frankly beneath you Rev. My wife and I didn't need to mention Jesus in order for the commitment we made that day to be meaningful.
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Yeah I kind of assumed that it went without saying that I didn't want to hear some judgmental comment from someone who is religious. Unfortunately, that was an assumption I shouldn't have made. Nonetheless, unlike most people of faith I know he kind of meant well.
 
DistrictDeacon said:
The height of arrogance, and frankly beneath you Rev. My wife and I didn't need to mention Jesus in order for the commitment we made that day to be meaningful.
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Never said you needed religion to be legit or have a nice ceremony, in fact I have been trying to be helpful in making suggestions on how to structure something outside of religion. My apologies if I offended you or seemed to belittle your wedding.

Just meant that for me, personally, it's too easy for me to have issues with secular symbols that, in my opinion, fall flat in the face of the rich symbols that I'm accustomed to (rings, tying knot, Communion). As someone else mentioned, that makes for nasty wine (not to mention that given the divorce rate, half of couples will need to separate that metaphorical wine), so I object to the symbol, not the gesture or mindset. Again, apologies for the offense.

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I think the Rev. was just giving an idea of how a typical ceremony commences (using the time-tested formula of the christian faith in which millions of couples have wed previously)...
so something like the following would work nicely:
1- welcome to the guests and a reading and/or story about the couple--maybe something about how they met, or something that underscores their committment to each other
2- maybe a song or special music of some sort
3- vows/exchange rings
4- some kind of blessing is given (could use the celtic hands thing)
5- pronunciation that the couple is now man & wife
 
discdude said:
Yeah I kind of assumed that it went without saying that I didn't want to hear some judgmental comment from someone who is religious. Unfortunately, that was an assumption I shouldn't have made. Nonetheless, unlike most people of faith I know he kind of meant well.
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Really didn't mean it to be judgemental, just wanted to suggest other symbols (the suggested Celtic hand joining is solid) that might be even stronger. Apologies.

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Well while we're on symbology/symbolism, isn't the ring an interesting one...
 
The wife and I had a non traditional wedding. We turned it into a 3-day event. On Friday night we had a very small, close friend officiated, outdoor ceremony at my wife's parents home with about 20 close friends and family in attendance followed by an inside the home catered dinner. Hired a personal chef to cook the meal and he brought along a couple of waiters and a bartender which was quite nice and relaxing. Saturday was the big reception blow out outside under the tent for about 150 friends and relatives which lasted from about noon til 1am. Initially we were a little worried that some guests would be upset that they had not been invited to the ceremony but we ended up receiving tons of compliments from guests as to how we split the events up. I guess that having access to free food and a open bar for twelve hours will cure any ill will. And then on Sunday morning we had a little Bloody Mary/Cocktail breakfast and party for those guests that were still around and not too hungover.
 
CHillDeac said:
The wife and I had a non traditional wedding. We turned it into a 3-day event. On Friday night we had a very small, close friend officiated, outdoor ceremony at my wife's parents home with about 20 close friends and family in attendance followed by an inside the home catered dinner. Hired a personal chef to cook the meal and he brought along a couple of waiters and a bartender which was quite nice and relaxing. Saturday was the big reception blow out outside under the tent for about 150 friends and relatives which lasted from about noon til 1am. Initially we were a little worried that some guests would be upset that they had not been invited to the ceremony but we ended up receiving tons of compliments from guests as to how we split the events up. I guess that having access to free food and a open bar for twelve hours will cure any ill will. And then on Sunday morning we had a little Bloody Mary/Cocktail breakfast and party for those guests that were still around and not too hungover.
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Very Jewish (big, multi - day party). Sounds fun and like a true celebration of relationship.

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TownieDeac said:
Well while we're on symbology/symbolism, isn't the ring an interesting one...
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Interesting origin, yes, but the symbol (and plain sense meaning, or at least one of them) has evolved.

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RevDeac06 said:
Very Jewish (big, multi - day party). Sounds fun and like a true celebration of relationship.

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Sounds like a rehearsal dinner, wedding day, breakfast if the bride and groom are still around for the stragglers. That's not uncommon regardless of the religion or background.
 
PhDeac said:
Sounds like a rehearsal dinner, wedding day, breakfast if the bride and groom are still around for the stragglers. That's not uncommon regardless of the religion or background.
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Was thinking more ethnic than religious, but yea. They seem to have planned it as a cohesive unit, which is nice.

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I just can't think for a single friend I would want in charge of that type of ceremony.
 
I think it's more common if there are a lot people coming from out of town and/or a destination wedding.
 
dashionista said:
I love the celtic hand fastening ceremony. Usually it involves tying the couple's hands together (you can also incorporate a special handkerchief or fabric from the mother of the bride's wedding gown, etc. if desired) and have someone special read the following:
These are the hands that will work alongside yours, and build your first home and plant your first garden.

These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years,

And with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other.

These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind.

These are the hands that will, countless times, wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow, and tears of joy.

These are the hands that will hold your first child.

These are the hands that will help you hold your family as one.

These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it.

And lastly; these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours,

Still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.
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FWIW, Handfasting IS a religious ceremony that has been coopted by people who don't practice that religion and can be pretty insulting to many Pagans/Celts (much in the same vein as if someone decided to break a glass or have a chuppah at a non religious ceremony. It's fine, but realize that you are indeed using someone's religious/cultural heritage as your own "fun thing"
 
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With the hand-fastening ceremony, for the special fabric may I suggest one of Buzz' ties? You could come together like two road wins across the decades....
 
We had a super quick secular ceremony overlooking the beach. My best friend was the officiant. Basically he introduced himself and welcomed everyone. He had a few anecdotes of his own writing. We took a few moments to acknowledge our grandparents who couldn't be there and thanked our families for all the support. We had two readings (both secular, one was a lighthearted poem the other was Union by Robert Fulghum). Then we did our vows, exchanged rings, kiss the bride.

We considered trying to incorporate other things into the ceremony, but it ended up feeling a little gimmicky and not "us." I wouldn't change a thing.
 
tiltdeac said:
We had a super quick secular ceremony overlooking the beach. My best friend was the officiant. Basically he introduced himself and welcomed everyone. He had a few anecdotes of his own writing. We took a few moments to acknowledge our grandparents who couldn't be there and thanked our families for all the support. We had two readings (both secular, one was a lighthearted poem the other was Union by Robert Fulghum). Then we did our vows, exchanged rings, kiss the bride.

We considered trying to incorporate other things into the ceremony, but it ended up feeling a little gimmicky and not "us." I wouldn't change a thing.
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This is kind of how we felt. I'd thought I would throw it out here to see if there was something that wasn't kitschy.
 
I think Two Girls, One Cup is non-religious so you could try to incorporate some of those ideas.
 
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