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Non-religious wedding ceremony

Instead of kissing the bride, at the end of the ceremony you should just scream "WE ARE DAMNED!!" over and over again as loud as you can (preferably while your clasped hands are dripping blood from the whole sliced palm/blood union thing). Maybe walk out blasting Iron Maiden's "Children of the Damned," just to drive the point home.
 
If I may make a recommendation...

 
Have only been to 2 weddings where they did the stupid sand cremony deal, but both of them ended up being pretty much a bust. The things they put the sand in were so tall that it looked like they were holding a couple of bazookas, and it took forever to get them emptied and "joined as one".
 
We also had this reading from Captain Corelli's Mandolin by Louis de Bernieres:

Love is a temporary madness,
it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides.

And when it subsides you have to make a decision.


You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together
that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.

Because this is what love is.

Love is not breathlessness,
it is not excitement,
it is not the promulgation of eternal passion.

That is just being "in love" which any fool can do.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away,
and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.

Those that truly love, have roots that grow towards each other underground,
and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches,
they find that they are one tree and not two.
 
ChicdeaC said:
FWIW, Handfasting IS a religious ceremony that has been coopted by people who don't practice that religion and can be pretty insulting to many Pagans/Celts (much in the same vein as if someone decided to break a glass or have a chuppah at a non religious ceremony. It's fine, but realize that you are indeed using someone's religious/cultural heritage as your own "fun thing"
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Lol no. If you're going to go that far, the entire idea of a wedding is "using someone's religious/cultural heritage as your own fun thing." So is lighting a candle, exchanging rings, reciting vows, and anything else you can think of that might've been performed in historical ceremonies. That's why they're called ceremonies - they're steeped in tradition and they use gestures and actions to accentuate or exemplify.

The words you say and/or the manner in which you say them is what makes something cultural or religious. If I clasp my hands together and say "I love you" - its not religious. But if I do it and say "God loves you", then it is.

PS - co-opting pagan rituals is something that western religions have been doing for millenia.
 
I was at a wedding with the sand thing but there had been some divorces remarriages etc so there were lots of colors of sand.
 
I don't get how any of this unity stuff is non-religious - symbolizing your union with some sort of crazy bond is the same as acquiescing to some form of higher power that bonds you.

Just have a wedding, make some cool give aways, have a cool DJ. Drink a lot, you'll be good.
 
I'm, personally, not big on sand ceremonies or unity candles, so we didn't do it for ours, but I've been to plenty that had them, and it made the bride and groom happy.

One thing I've heard of/read about (but never seen in person) that I think is cool is a wine box ceremony. If we had had a more secular ceremony (ours was in the church I grew up in), I think I would've thought more seriously about trying to incorporate it.

Basically, during the ceremony, you place a bottle of wine in a box with letters to one another commemorate the day (then nail the box shut or lock it or something). You open the box on a designated anniversary, read the letters, and drink the wine. You may also open the box if you're in a bad place and considering separating...to remind you why you were married in the first place.

I'm sure searching online you could find good suggestions for what should be read by your officiant/friend during the ceremony.
 
^ sounds cool, just make sure the wine is stored properly, otherwise it could get pretty bad.

Sent from my SCH-I605 using Tapatalk 4 Beta
 
LadyDeac03 said:
I'm, personally, not big on sand ceremonies or unity candles, so we didn't do it for ours, but I've been to plenty that had them, and it made the bride and groom happy.

One thing I've heard of/read about (but never seen in person) that I think is cool is a wine box ceremony. If we had had a more secular ceremony (ours was in the church I grew up in), I think I would've thought more seriously about trying to incorporate it.

Basically, during the ceremony, you place a bottle of wine in a box with letters to one another commemorate the day (then nail the box shut or lock it or something). You open the box on a designated anniversary, read the letters, and drink the wine. You may also open the box if you're in a bad place and considering separating...to remind you why you were married in the first place.

I'm sure searching online you could find good suggestions for what should be read by your officiant/friend during the ceremony.
Click to expand...

I've thought about doing the wine box thing. Ive always seen that you open it for your first married fight. We definitely wouldn't do it at the ceremony itself, but I thought about doing it after the wedding weekend is over. Put love notes to each other and a bottle of wine to drink after you've read the notes.
 
PhilliesDeacs said:
Lol no. If you're going to go that far, the entire idea of a wedding is "using someone's religious/cultural heritage as your own fun thing." So is lighting a candle, exchanging rings, reciting vows, and anything else you can think of that might've been performed in historical ceremonies. That's why they're called ceremonies - they're steeped in tradition and they use gestures and actions to accentuate or exemplify.

The words you say and/or the manner in which you say them is what makes something cultural or religious. If I clasp my hands together and say "I love you" - its not religious. But if I do it and say "God loves you", then it is.

PS - co-opting pagan rituals is something that western religions have been doing for millenia.
Click to expand...

Anyone who knows me or has ever read a word I have written on the subject, knows they don't need to tell me this.

I am not arguing that the whole concept of a wedding ISN'T "using someone's religious/cultural heritage as your own fun thing." I just think it's important to note that while it would be taboo to yell "mazel tov" and break a glass if you weren't Jewish, it may come across in much the same way to have a Handfasting. You can obviously do and say whatever you want in your own ceremony, but people often fail to consider that Paganism is a religion. :noidea:
 
For one of our readings, neither of which were religious, two of our friends read a Pablo Neruda poem, he in Spanish and her in English. I liked that part a lot.
 
we were thinking of a pablo neruda poem. we're just starting trying to figure out the form of our wedding. the bride's uncle is a judge and is officiating. we were thinking of having a couple readings from friends or family. do our own vows. the question on vows is if we should write them together or each write our own and them be kind of a surprise. i hope she vows blowies.
 
deacphan said:
we were thinking of a pablo neruda poem. we're just starting trying to figure out the form of our wedding. the bride's uncle is a judge and is officiating. we were thinking of having a couple readings from friends or family. do our own vows. the question on vows is if we should write them together or each write our own and them be kind of a surprise. i hope she vows blowies.
Click to expand...

Good luck with that
 
ChicdeaC said:
We also had this reading from Captain Corelli's Mandolin by Louis de Bernieres:

Love is a temporary madness,
it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides.

And when it subsides you have to make a decision.


You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together
that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.

Because this is what love is.

Love is not breathlessness,
it is not excitement,
it is not the promulgation of eternal passion.

That is just being "in love" which any fool can do.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away,
and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.

Those that truly love, have roots that grow towards each other underground,
and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches,
they find that they are one tree and not two.
Click to expand...

We did this one too. Along with plenty of scripture.
 
LadyDeac03 said:
One thing I've heard of/read about (but never seen in person) that I think is cool is a wine box ceremony. Basically, during the ceremony, you place a bottle of wine in a box with letters to one another commemorate the day (then nail the box shut or lock it or something).
Click to expand...

This sounds like a great idea. But I thought of a way to make it even more special:

Boxed-wine ceremony

franzia.jpg
 
deacphan said:
we were thinking of a pablo neruda poem. we're just starting trying to figure out the form of our wedding. the bride's uncle is a judge and is officiating. we were thinking of having a couple readings from friends or family. do our own vows. the question on vows is if we should write them together or each write our own and them be kind of a surprise. i hope she vows blowies.
Click to expand...

Yeah I suggested Sonnet XVII by Neruda and Love's Philosophy by Shelley to be read by family members we wanted to involve in the ceremony.
 
love is more thicker than forget
more thinner than recall
more seldom than a wave is wet
more frequent than to fail

it is most mad and moonly
and less it shall unbe
than all the sea which only
is deeper than the sea

love is less always than to win
less never than alive
less bigger than the least begin
less littler than forgive

it is most sane and sunly
and more it cannot die
than all the sky which only
is higher than the sky

-cummings
 
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