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Non-religious wedding ceremony

discdude

discdude

Lampin in the cut
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So, the lady and I are tying the knot soon. We are having a non-religious ceremony, and a family friend is officiating (we are utilizing the self-uniting marriage license in PA). In the vein of the phrase "tying the knot", would anyone like to share any non-religious things they incorporated into their ceremony? We have a couple ideas, but are open to some cool/unique suggestions. Thanks in advance for the advice.
 
Was just at a non-religious wedding ceremony over the weekend and there was a wine unity ceremony. Where the bride's family poured white wine into a glass and the groom's family poured red wine into the same glass to show that the families were now one. After that both the bride and groom drink from the glass to symbolize the melding of the two families. It was pretty cool I thought.
 
discdude said:
So, the lady and I are tying the knot soon. We are having a non-religious ceremony, and a family friend is officiating (we are utilizing the self-uniting marriage license in PA). In the vein of the phrase "tying the knot", would anyone like to share any non-religious things they incorporated into their ceremony? We have a couple ideas, but are open to some cool/unique suggestions. Thanks in advance for the advice.
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So obviously I don't have much experience with this, but I will say that the form of the liturgy/ceremony that we use in the Episcopal Church is historic and well-thought out, and with that comes some natural beauty.

Here is the "form" of the service (I've omitted the parts that wouldn't apply to you, such as Communion):

2. The intention of the man and the woman to enter the state of
matrimony, and their free consent, is publicly ascertained.

3. One or more Readings, one of which is always from Holy Scripture,
may precede the exchange of vows. If there is to be a Communion,
a Reading from the Gospel is always included.

4. The vows of the man and woman are exchanged, using the following
form-
In the Name of God, I, N., take you, N., to be my
(wife) (husband), to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in
health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death.
This is my solemn vow.

6. Prayers are offered for the husband and wife, for their life together, for
the Christian community, and for the world.

7. A priest or bishop pronounces a solemn blessing upon the couple.

Again, I realize some of that won't fit, but it does give you a sense of the flow: A) commitment, B) readings/poem/song= something that grounds and locates the wedding as a part of something larger (love, relationship), C) vow/promises (rings also fall in here), D) prayers in a secular wedding could be something such as "may this couple..." (see below for the standard prayers, which could easily be adapted to omit the "prayer" part of them), and D) some sort of pronouncement that the marriage is complete/legit.

Hope that helps, and congrats!

*Prayer addendum:
Give them wisdom and devotion in the ordering of their
common life, that each may be to the other a strength in need, a
counselor in perplexity, a comfort in sorrow, and a companion
in joy. Amen.

Grant that their wills may be so knit together in your will,
and their spirits in your Spirit, that they may grow in love
and peace with you and one another all the days of their life.
Amen.

Give them grace, when they hurt each other, to recognize and
acknowledge their fault, and to seek each other's forgiveness
and yours. Amen.

Make their life together a sign of Christ's love to this sinful
and broken world, that unity may overcome estrangement,
forgiveness heal guilt, and joy conquer despair. Amen.

Bestow on them, if it is your will, the gift and heritage of
children, and the grace to bring them up to know you, to love you,
and to serve you. Amen.

Give them such fulfillment of their mutual affection that they
may reach out in love and concern for others. Amen.

Grant that all married persons who have witnessed these
vows may find their lives strengthened and their loyalties
confirmed. Amen.
 
DeaconWalker said:
Was just at a non-religious wedding ceremony over the weekend and there was a wine unity ceremony. Where the bride's family poured white wine into a glass and the groom's family poured red wine into the same glass to show that the families were now one. After that both the bride and groom drink from the glass to symbolize the melding of the two families. It was pretty cool I thought.
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Works for a non-church wedding, but as a priest, this sort of stuff (unity candle, unity sand, etc) is just abhorrent. But then again, we have a rich liturgy that, when allowed to speak for itself, is quite powerful. But yea, a nice symbol if you don't look much deeper than surface level.
 
In our community, while we do not adhere to the traditional concept of marriage as practiced by society at large, members often participate in ceremonies intended to reflect a confederation of souls. This may take the form of two or more participants. One particularly memorable ceremony involved the two members making love on a steep pile of fresh soil as we looked on holding hands, the soil symbolizing Mother Earth and the rhythmic grinding of their bodies directly against it representing their decision to unify their bodies and spirits with Her. It was very powerful and I wholeheartedly suggest it could be incorporated into your ceremony.
 
RevDeac06 said:
Works for a non-church wedding, but as a priest, this sort of stuff (unity candle, unity sand, etc) is just abhorrent. But then again, we have a rich liturgy that, when allowed to speak for itself, is quite powerful. But yea, a nice symbol if you don't look much deeper than surface level.
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Thanks, but I do not want to quote from the good book.
 
You and your wife should each drink from a goblet brimming with the blood of the innocent, you filthy heathen.
 
Say Hey Deac said:
You and your wife should each drink from a goblet brimming with the blood of the innocent, you filthy heathen.
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Do they sell virgin blood for this type of stuff? If not I'd settle for some baby lamb blood.
 
TWDeac said:
Do they sell virgin blood for this type of stuff? If not I'd settle for some baby lamb blood.
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If only there were virgins on this board who might sell their blood for a modest fee.
 
Frisbee golf hole in between discdude and discdudetoy. Each disc has your last name. At the same time y'all throw discs at the hole.
 
discdude said:
So, the lady and I are tying the knot soon. We are having a non-religious ceremony, and a family friend is officiating (we are utilizing the self-uniting marriage license in PA). In the vein of the phrase "tying the knot", would anyone like to share any non-religious things they incorporated into their ceremony? We have a couple ideas, but are open to some cool/unique suggestions. Thanks in advance for the advice.
Click to expand...

The lady and I are doing a version of a Scottish hand-wrapping ceremony (as seen in Braveheart) with my tartan.

Out of curiosity, how were you able to pull off having a friend marry you in PA? I was under the impression that only a judge, religious official, or political official (e.g. mayor) were allowed to perform a marriage ceremony in PA?
 
Say Hey Deac said:
You and your wife should each drink from a goblet brimming with the blood of the innocent, you filthy heathen.
Click to expand...

I'm pretty sure the white wine symbolized white blood cells and red win symbolized red blood cells. So they've got it covered.
 
I love the celtic hand fastening ceremony. Usually it involves tying the couple's hands together (you can also incorporate a special handkerchief or fabric from the mother of the bride's wedding gown, etc. if desired) and have someone special read the following:
These are the hands that will work alongside yours, and build your first home and plant your first garden.

These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years,

And with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other.

These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind.

These are the hands that will, countless times, wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow, and tears of joy.

These are the hands that will hold your first child.

These are the hands that will help you hold your family as one.

These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it.

And lastly; these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours,

Still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.
 
DeaconWalker said:
Was just at a non-religious wedding ceremony over the weekend and there was a wine unity ceremony. Where the bride's family poured white wine into a glass and the groom's family poured red wine into the same glass to show that the families were now one. After that both the bride and groom drink from the glass to symbolize the melding of the two families. It was pretty cool I thought.
Click to expand...

Cool sounding ceremony, but I am guessing that tasted like crap. Not the message for a new bride and groom. Maybe that accurately symbolizes in-laws.

The Celtic hand fastening ceremony dashionista mentioned sounds pretty cool.
 
What if you like took a machete or some kind of blade or dagger and cut the palm of your hand, then the wife did the same, then you joined hands and held them up high over your head like you guys just won an Olympic medal or something while the (unified) blood drips symbolically down your arms? That would be bitchin' as hell.

Basically anything involving blood would be neat.
 
RevDeac06 said:
Works for a non-church wedding, but as a priest, this sort of stuff (unity candle, unity sand, etc) is just abhorrent. But then again, we have a rich liturgy that, when allowed to speak for itself, is quite powerful. But yea, a nice symbol if you don't look much deeper than surface level.
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The height of arrogance, and frankly beneath you Rev. My wife and I didn't need to mention Jesus in order for the commitment we made that day to be meaningful.
 
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