Chat Thread CCLXV: DDD takes a lover

[DeaconCav06]

My laundry bag at the gym this morning included a women’s one piece bathing suit and I’m very curious how that happened.

 

[deacdiggler]

I felt like the woman in that story, severely let down. Zero punch line, the same point over and over, no dramatic flair. 3/10

if you need to rub one out your comparison is complete

 

[BarcaDeac]

Is there a worse experience than flying hungover? It’s got to be very high on the list.

those Sunday morning Vegas flights to the East Coast are brutal. the whole plane has the same vibe.

 

[Frosty]

Similar experience with flying to/from New Orleans. A bunch of people starting to go hard on the flight down and then everyone on the Sunday flights out looks like death.

 

[BarcaDeac]

Similar experience with flying to/from New Orleans. A bunch of people starting to go hard on the flight down and then everyone on the Sunday flights out looks like death.

as someone who did their bachelor party there, I concur

 

[WRS]

Similar experience with flying to/from New Orleans. A bunch of people starting to go hard on the flight down and then everyone on the Sunday flights out looks like death.

Was down there for my friend’s bachelor party right before the pandemic and had my phone stolen so on the way back I was just a zombie with no music or entertainment. Nothing. Flying on shit Frontier with a bunch of Duke kids. Awful.

 

[DeaconCav06]

Getting my wife a pair of AirPod Pros for her birthday. Apple website said the store opened at 8. Got there and apparently it’s only open at 8 if you are picking up the new iPhone. Otherwise I’m welcome to come back at 11:00.

Stupidest thinking I’ve ever heard. It’s a two minute transaction.

 

[Deacfan2009]

Getting my wife a pair of AirPod Pros for her birthday. Apple website said the store opened at 8. Got there and apparently it’s only open at 8 if you are picking up the new iPhone. Otherwise I’m welcome to come back at 11:00.

Stupidest thinking I’ve ever heard. It’s a two minute transaction.

In my experience they do a hilariously bad job of managing iPhone drop days. I decided on store pick-up when I got my last iPhone and even though they gave me a scheduled time to come, I ended up waiting almost 2 hours to pick up my box. They had clearly overbooked for every time slot and then didn't prioritize by earliest time slots once things started backing up. Just chaos.

 

[DeacsATS]

Getting my wife a pair of AirPod Pros for her birthday. Apple website said the store opened at 8. Got there and apparently it’s only open at 8 if you are picking up the new iPhone. Otherwise I’m welcome to come back at 11:00.

Stupidest thinking I’ve ever heard. It’s a two minute transaction.

Well maybe you shouldn't have waited until the last minute and ordered them online like a normal person.

Is what my wife would say to me.

 

[Deacfan2009]

I bought my wife an apple watch a month later and ended up waiting another 45 minutes for that and the store wasn't even crowded! This was all pre-pandemic, so they weren't understaffed.

I only get things shipped direct to my house now.

 

[DeacsATS]

In my experience they do a hilariously bad job of managing iPhone drop days. I decided on store pick-up when I got my last iPhone and even though they gave me a scheduled time to come, I ended up waiting almost 2 hours to pick up my box. They had clearly overbooked for every time slot and then didn't prioritize by earliest time slots once things started backing up. Just chaos.

I imagine Apple Store employees look forward to that annual occurrence with dread and trepidation.

 

[Deacfan2009]

I imagine Apple Store employees look to that annual occurrence with dread and trepidation.

Yeah. I don't blame them. It's a process/company problem and employees just have to deal with more shit because it's bad.

I just can't fathom what's so difficult about using technology to manage reservations/time-slots (without overbooking) and then force other people schedule on future days. If you're going to make me book a time at 10:30 (because 8am-10:15 all taken), then I expect that I'll actually be able to reasonably pick it up if I come in that time frame.

 

[DeaconCav06]

Well maybe you shouldn't have waited until the last minute and ordered them online like a normal person.

Is what my wife would say to me.

This idea only came to me yesterday. My mom was giving me a hard time about not having anything yet.

When my mom asks what she wants, my wife tells her the item, size, and color.

When I ask it’s “I don’t need anything. We are going to Mexico. That’s my gift.”

 

[BeachBumDeac]

In my experience they do a hilariously bad job of managing iPhone drop days. I decided on store pick-up when I got my last iPhone and even though they gave me a scheduled time to come, I ended up waiting almost 2 hours to pick up my box. They had clearly overbooked for every time slot and then didn't prioritize by earliest time slots once things started backing up. Just chaos.

Uggghhh I have a pickup window of 4:00 today. Was going to try to show up early.

 

[TownieDeac]

If I understand you correctly, you basically don't care except for that you hate the intelligence community so you're fine with them suffering. There are plenty of diplomats and their families who've been affected too. What do you say to all the Canadians who've experienced symptoms? Gotta find out if they're mounties or not before sympathizing??

Shit in one hand and put my sympathy in the other, see which one fills up first. I’m not sure it matters much either way. You don’t find a lot of public sympathy for the fallout for the actions of US (or Canadian I guess) foreign state actors when they topple a democracy or destabilize one not acting in our economic interests.

I don’t relish any human suffering, no matter the source, nor do I wish it upon anyone. Would that the govt circled the wagons the same way for first responders on 9/11 or vets dealing with PTSD.

 

[TimmyClutch]

And not all diplomatic posts are vanity positions. Sure like ambassador to Britain or the Bahamas, but there are stations everywhere, including in not very desirable places. The foreign service test is also notoriously difficult, as I'm sure you know

Fun fact, we have not had an ambassador to the Bahamas in a while, they never seem to get past the confirmation process. I feel like a Wake guy was put up for in the last 10 years, but can't seem to remember who. The Ambassador to the Court of St. James is usually reserved for real big time donors, but the deputy is usually a former career State person who had been an ambassador before.

 

[myDeaconmyhand]

Getting my wife a pair of AirPod Pros for her birthday. Apple website said the store opened at 8. Got there and apparently it’s only open at 8 if you are picking up the new iPhone. Otherwise I’m welcome to come back at 11:00.

Stupidest thinking I’ve ever heard. It’s a two minute transaction.

I’m just saying you could walk into any big box store at 8am and buy those. Apple
Store is really only necessary if you want to play with the new IMac before ordering it, or need customer service.

 

[BeachBumDeac]

You could def pick up some AirPods at Best Buy, Target, or Costco. No need to go to Apple Store.

 

[Liquid Karma]

How do I get.myself in these situations?

It's 4am, and I'm in Charleston, SC laying awake replaying the trauma of what just happened.

I'm down here with another attorney. We're arguing before the court tomorrow. We drove down together.

Full disclosure, I'd take a bullet for this dude. He's an awesome officemate and a great friend. Super good human being and a great (single) father. Our friendship is valuable to me, for sure.

We've both been working hard. Prepping for this case and the trip down together was great to strengthen our friendship. We had planned on dinner Thursday night, then wake up to polish and prepare the following morning. We're at a super nice hotel downtown.

On the way down, he mentions he's been on bumble talking to a Charleston girl. This guy is a real lost puppy, and he's a great dude. I give him some encouragement and tell him that's awesome. He should take her to dinner tonight and I'll explore the city. He's like, "naw man, I've got reservations for us at Union Church, and you need to come with us."

I'm like, "no, dude. I don't wanna third wheel your vibe." He insists. Then insists again. I'm like, well, ok? In my mind, I'm thinking this is a horrible idea, but he's really confident that it's going to be this friendly vibe because she's a fun lady.

Then he says we should eat at Fig instead of Union Church. He's driving, so I call to get a table at Fig. No dice, but I call Husk and they are going to put together a.table for us. I wanted to eat there anyway, so now I'm stoked. I call and cancel the reservations at Union Church.

We get to Charleston with an hour to spare, I take a shower, etc. It's like a five minute walk to Husk. He texts me to meet them at the hotel rooftop bar.

I get up there, get a drink and meet them at the bar. She's a.lovely older lady (I'm like 15 years younger than both these people), but when she sees me I can tell she's surprised I'm there. I'm immediately thinking, "what. the. fuck."

It's their first date. Like, straight up, my well-meaning, perfectly naieve, buddy has created a nuclear bomb of awkwardness and put the three of us directly under it. He's been talking me up as a wingman, without there being any need for me to be there.

I start back peddling immediately. Like, "hey, I'm just going to stick with you guys for one drink and then get on my way." She thinks that is a great idea, but my buddy is like, "no way, you have gotta stay and have dinner." He's working overtime to make this a cool group thing, but she's in a first-date skirt.

To make matters more awkward, he's like, "hey, let's just chill here and have another drink. Call Husk and cancel the reservation. We'll just keep it loose." So I do, and we do.

The poor woman keeps oscillating between, "I should go, I don't want to interrupt what the two of you have going on" and, "I need to ask polite questions, and then get the fuck out of here." She and I are of an accord, but we're trapped in this high-gravity awkwardness black hole of togetherness that Buddy is preaching.

Finally, after drink three, she's like, "alright, I'm leaving." Buddy does his typical wounded puppy deal and convinces her to stay. I suggest they get dinner. Buddy says, "yeah, find us a place to eat." Completely missing the 1,000th graceful out I've laid at his feet.

We walk down the street to find a place to eat and I'm ten feet behind texting whoever I can to emergency call me out of this nightmare. In my 40s and married for nearly two decades, my emergency exit strategy call-pool was rusty.

Finally, wife answers one of my texts after she had successfully put down our kids. I try to explain the situation, but wife thinks there's a legit emergency. She calls and is like, "are you hurt?" I excuse myself from the table and go out to have the obligatory quick phone call.

At that point, I'm just like, "gotta rip the band-aid off." Still on the phone, I go in and make some lame excuse about it being story time and the kids won't go to bed without a FaceTime. Handshake. Good bye. Great meeting you.

Buddy is confused. I just high tail it. Over the next hour, I get several texts from buddy asking if I still want to order, or if everything is ok.

I can't get over how bad this poor woman was ambushed. My well-meaning, goofball buddy just wasn't getting it. She was looking for smash-town, and he was stuck in friendship land. I don't think I've ever seen someone cockblock themselves so earnestly and repeatedly.

God I love destination mode on dating apps.

 

[leftcoastdeac]

Getting my wife a pair of AirPod Pros for her birthday. Apple website said the store opened at 8. Got there and apparently it’s only open at 8 if you are picking up the new iPhone. Otherwise I’m welcome to come back at 11:00.

Stupidest thinking I’ve ever heard. It’s a two minute transaction.

See if you can get them delivered. In my area Apple partners with Door Dash for same day delivery.

God I love destination mode on dating apps.

Been married since before the rise of dating apps, so I assume it's just smash time when you make a connection in destination mode? Do you get more matches? Weirder women?