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Using a coupon on the first date

I am not a fan of somewhere fancy for a first date. It's so cliche. And if the guy threw down a coupon on top of that...eh. I love coupons...but not a first date.
 
Deadbolt said:
My fiancee used to pull the whole "I'll pay for my own meal" thing. Some feminist, independent woman, "you're not getting in my panties" kind of thing.

Now I pay for most dinners.
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really? It was the opposite for me. I paid for most everything in the beginning, now it's about 50/50.
 
For those who are saying not to go someplace fancy on a first date where do you suggest going? I mean...the whole point of going out is to eat somewhere nice and delicious.
 
I used a BOGO at Jungle Golf on the first date I had with my wife. Between that and me losing my ball in the artificial blue-stained waterfall, followed by the dorky blue balls joke I can not believe she stuck with me.
 
Ideally, I'd rather do something than just do dinner (like watch a game, go bowling, etc.) rather than sit and watch each other chew. I think if you have an activity it can break up the awkwardness that sometimes happens on a first date. If you do go to a restaurant, I would say something middle of the road, ideally not a major chain, is a good choice. For example, I went on a first date at Senor Bravo's this weekend. Nice restaurant, but not expensive.
 
RidingDeac said:
Ideally, I'd rather do something than just do dinner (like watch a game, go bowling, etc.) rather than sit and watch each other chew. I think if you have an activity it can break up the awkwardness that sometimes happens on a first date. If you do go to a restaurant, I would say something middle of the road, ideally not a major chain, is a good choice. For example, I went on a first date at Senor Bravo's this weekend. Nice restaurant, but not expensive.
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Agreed on all counts.

Coupon on a first date is not a turn-on... afterwards it's fine.

Also DreaminDeac, as in your case on a first date, I think it would be okay for the girl to say "oh, yeah, I have a coupon there!" because it's likely on the first date that either the guy will treat, or it will be split. So it's not like she's just trying to save herself the money. (Except in your case, it got weird when she used the coupon for herself. Defs awkward.)
 
I never used a coupon on first date, but never went anywhere especially nice either. It's usually going to do a thing (see a show, climb some rocks, etc etc) that really encompasses the date. Dinner IS nice because it's time you find out if someone can make a conversation.
 
I like a dinner first date and it doesn't have to overly fancy, but some effort is good. When my man and I started dating, I had to "teach" him how to have a leisurely meal. Like, first order a drink- take your time with it, then start looking at apps with another drink. After you get apps, then start ordering dinner. If you can do a "slow" dinner, you really can have fun, talk, get to know someone or catch up. Otherwise, you go out at 7:30 or 8 and you're done at like 9:30.
 
awakegirl said:
I like a dinner first date and it doesn't have to overly fancy, but some effort is good. When my man and I started dating, I had to "teach" him how to have a leisurely meal. Like, first order a drink- take your time with it, then start looking at apps with another drink. After you get apps, then start ordering dinner. If you can do a "slow" dinner, you really can have fun, talk, get to know someone or catch up. Otherwise, you go out at 7:30 or 8 and you're done at like 9:30.
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see, i think for a first date, a shorter date is better. after that you can start doing longer dates. but i prefer a first date of just drinks. that way, if you don't like the person that much, you can get out of there quickly.
 
i don't really consider using a "groupon" deal for an activity to the same as whipping out something you clipped from the paper
 
DeacHoops said:
see, i think for a first date, a shorter date is better. after that you can start doing longer dates. but i prefer a first date of just drinks. that way, if you don't like the person that much, you can get out of there quickly.
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Agreed. Have to leave them wanting more. :thumbsup: Or dates that have timing options, where you can do one thing, and if it's going well, then you can go do something else.
 
DeacHoops said:
see, i think for a first date, a shorter date is better. after that you can start doing longer dates. but i prefer a first date of just drinks. that way, if you don't like the person that much, you can get out of there quickly.
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Totally agree. Sorry, I was more speaking of dinner dates generally once you think you're interested. I prefer lunch for someone I'm not sure about!
 
I always go somewhere nice for a first date because I like nice places.
 
awakegirl said:
I like a dinner first date and it doesn't have to overly fancy, but some effort is good. When my man and I started dating, I had to "teach" him how to have a leisurely meal. Like, first order a drink- take your time with it, then start looking at apps with another drink. After you get apps, then start ordering dinner. If you can do a "slow" dinner, you really can have fun, talk, get to know someone or catch up. Otherwise, you go out at 7:30 or 8 and you're done at like 9:30.
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awakegirl, you strike me as this strange mix between a 60s housewife yet 60s woman on the rise with some 90s/00s woman high-power lawyer trying to balance work and love. I say that as a weird complement.

For the guys, I have to point out that your "leisurely meal" is much more expensive than a standard meal. Your man was probably thinking, "she wants two mojitos AND the steak tartare?" I bet you're one of those girls who says yes to coffee after dinner and would like to see the dessert menu.

Going back to Dreamin's situation, ladies, is it true that one way for a girl to show she's not interested after the first date is to insist on going dutch? I don't remember if it ever happened to me, but I think I've heard some female friends talking about doing it.
 
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awakegirl said:
I like a dinner first date and it doesn't have to overly fancy, but some effort is good. When my man and I started dating, I had to "teach" him how to have a leisurely meal. Like, first order a drink- take your time with it, then start looking at apps with another drink. After you get apps, then start ordering dinner. If you can do a "slow" dinner, you really can have fun, talk, get to know someone or catch up. Otherwise, you go out at 7:30 or 8 and you're done at like 9:30.
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poor guy, he has you bossing him around the rest of his life
 
A girl should at least offer to go dutch knowing it's going to get shot down, but if a girl really insisted that she pay I'd take it as a sign she wasn't interested. I'd still probably pay just to save face, but I'd get the hint
 
Never on a first date. I was on a 2nd date and had a scoutmob I coulda used at a nice restaurant but didnt do it. Just too lame to pull that out if you are trying to hook up.

I am all about nice places for a first date. I dont ask out people that Im not interested in, or at least want to hook up with though, so its not like Im being drug somewhere. Exceptions maybe for someplace that doesnt qualify as 'nice' but has really, really good food, drinks or has some other inordinate appeal that still reflects well on you for choosing it.
 
Baconwfu said:
A girl should at least offer to go dutch knowing it's going to get shot down, but if a girl really insisted that she pay I'd take it as a sign she wasn't interested. I'd still probably pay just to save face, but I'd get the hint
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can we get some other guys' opinions on this? i always feel so conflicted these days over whether or not i'm supposed to offer. i've always taken the approach of letting the guy pay for the first few dates, then starting to offer after maybe a month-ish. but what do guys think?
 
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