I'm talking about this ridiculous sentence you wrote.
"The best that technology can do right now is offer a 2-dimensional plane that is inconsistently adjusted to player height that pitchers would love and batters would hate."
That is tech from over a decade ago. Current 100% viable options include 3d strike zones, deep learning systems that can instantly compare a live pitch to every pitch correctly called a strike in the filmed history of baseball before the ball hits the mit, camera systems that can adjust a 3 dimensional strike zone in 1/100th of a second, and human-like adjustments for corner and backdoor strikes that would not be acceptable to be called despite technically being strikes.
There is nothing preventing a modern system like this from being implemented except traditionalist thinking that favors human error in baseball. There's plenty of money and multiple tech options to, at the very least, improve the current state of balls and strikes.
It's fine to have an argument about favoring the tradition of umpires and how instant replay is ruining baseball, etc. But it's not a lack of tech. AI is piloting rockets back from space and landing them on a floating barge. This is not a technical challenge.