Henry Chinaski
Steve Lepore
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2011
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I copied Drew Magary’s defector post today - it makes me sad.
There are stories about Jerry Richardson. There was the time where the founding owner of the Carolina Panthers told his freshly drafted No. 1 overall pick, Cam Newton, when he learned that Newton had no tattoos on his body, "Good. We want to keep it that way." There was the time his fast food empire was accused, credibly, of denying service to black customers, including Bill Clinton’s Secret Service detail. There was the time Richardson, a former NFL player himself, spearheaded the 2011 lockout and sneered, “Do I need to help you read a revenue chart, son?” to Peyton Manning’s face at the bargaining table. There was the also time he received a 13-foot tall statue of himself as a gift for his 80th birthday (how did they know?) and stationed it at the entrance of the Panthers’ stadium.
Finally, there was the time Richardson was ousted from the league after a Sports Illustrated report, written by human beings Jon Wertheim and Viv Bernstein, detailed a litany of sexual harassment claims that the Panthers owner dished out millions of dollars to settle. He made the team’s female employees turn around so that he could get a good look at their asses. He ordered them to get manicures. And he invited one into his office to massage his feet. For all of this good ol’ boying, Richardson was forced to sell the Panthers five years ago to hedge fund magnate David Tepper. Tepper outbid a small number of other suitors that included Fanatics owner Michael Rubin. Upon his $2.2 billion purchase, and until Rob Walton bought the Denver Broncos in 2022, Tepper was the wealthiest owner in the NFL.
He has never been afraid to luxuriate in that fact.
Because there are stories about Tepper now, too. There was the time Tepper kept a pair of brass balls on his desk that he rubbed every day for good luck. There was the time he bragged about bringing live music to Charlotte for the first time in that city’s history (this was untrue). There was the time he broke ground on an $800 million practice facility in Rock Hill, SC, complete with $115 million in tax breaks, only to abandon the project when that city declined to give him even more money. There was the time he hired Pepsi loyalist Matt Rhule to coach the Panthers, only to have it prove disastrous. Tepper could have kept Steve Wilks to permanently replace Rhule after Wilks had compiled a damn near miraculous 6-6 record as interim coach … only he hired retread Frank Reich instead. He then forced Reich to meet with him after every game. Those meetings did not improve morale on any front.
Which brings us to now. The Panthers are 1-10. They’re not merely the worst team in football, but the worst by leaps and bounds. That shouldn’t be possible when the 2023 Giants, Jets, Commanders, Cardinals, and Patriots all exist, but here we are. The Panthers can’t block. They’re a bottom-five team in both rushing and passing offense. They traded away their first rounder next spring—all but certain to be No. 1 overall—to draft Bryce Young instead of C.J. Stroud, only watch Young regress every week. And they lost to the 4-7 Titans last week when, at the very end, they ordered Young to throw a screen pass two yards behind the line of scrimmage on fourth-and-6.
Tepper was unenthused by that loss, so much so that he fired Reich less than a year into the new head coach’s tenure. Between his Panthers and his MLS team, Charlotte FC, Tepper will have fired 10 coaches within a span of eight seasons. He’d like the next Panthers coach he hires to be the last one he ever hires. I think that you and I know that won’t be the case. You and I already know that the only constant Panthers fans will experience over the next few years—decades, likely—is David Tepper being an incompetent, meddling asshole who never wins a fucking thing.
Because I know this kind of owner. I lived in the D.C. area for almost the entirety of Dan Snyder’s tenure as steward of the Commanders. Like Tepper, Snyder took over his franchise from a dusty old fossil. And like Tepper, Snyder was unafraid to throw his money around. This was new money. Good money. At the very beginning, there was the feeling in Washington that Snyder was different, and different in the NFL always comes with the promise of better. Tepper’s acquisition of the Panthers had a similar feel, especially after he had that statue of Jerry Richardson sent into the blast furnace. Everything in Carolina would be fresh and exciting with Tepper in charge, just like it would be when Snyder took over in Washington.
You know what happened there. Snyder’s Commanders won a grand total of two playoff games under his watch. They blew through eight head coaches and 28 starting quarterbacks. The only constant for them this century was Snyder being an absolute fucking embarrassment. Such is the case now in Carolina. Like Dan Snyder, Tepper has been unafraid to meddle. Like Snyder, he discards head coaches like they’re common wastepaper. Like Snyder, he abandoned a boondoggle of a practice facility in a neighboring state. And, just like Snyder, Tepper is an incredible asshole who will never, ever acknowledge his shortcomings.
There are other terrible owners in the NFL. Many of them, in fact. I wouldn’t even know what a good owner looks like, to be honest. But most of the bad owners fall into relatively benign categories. There are geriatric fools like the McCaskeys. There are clueless idiots like Mark Davis. There are common crooks like Jimmy Haslam. And there are skinflints like Mike Brown. But none of those owners are quite like Snyder, and none of them are like David Tepper. David Tepper is the King of Suck Mountain, less an owner than he is a sentencing. The pall he casts over the Panthers franchise, and over both Carolinas, is so dark as to be eternal nightfall.
And while Tepper has yet to be accused of any of the particular kind of nasty shit that both Snyder and Richardson pulled, is there anything to suggest he’s not the type to feel entitled to anything he pleases? And can’t you already guess that continued futility—the Panthers have yet to make the playoffs since Tepper purchased the team—will only make him worse? That’s the promise that David Tepper ensures now. In just five years, he has made things impossibly ugly in Carolina. He will only make them uglier: more firings, more bullying, and more losses. Lots of them.
That’s where the dread comes in. It’s not merely that Tepper is a waste of skin; it’s that he’s never going to leave. I remember Commanders fans realizing that Snyder was dud and then having the even worse realization that, “Oh god, I’m gonna die before he does.” They feared, fairly, that they would be stuck with that man for the entirety of their fandom.
That’s David Tepper now. The rightful heir to Dan Snyder. Snyder only ended up selling the Commanders only because decades of open evildoing forced him to. Tepper, a spry 66, will have to commit similar acts over a similar span to do likewise.
There are stories about Jerry Richardson. There was the time where the founding owner of the Carolina Panthers told his freshly drafted No. 1 overall pick, Cam Newton, when he learned that Newton had no tattoos on his body, "Good. We want to keep it that way." There was the time his fast food empire was accused, credibly, of denying service to black customers, including Bill Clinton’s Secret Service detail. There was the time Richardson, a former NFL player himself, spearheaded the 2011 lockout and sneered, “Do I need to help you read a revenue chart, son?” to Peyton Manning’s face at the bargaining table. There was the also time he received a 13-foot tall statue of himself as a gift for his 80th birthday (how did they know?) and stationed it at the entrance of the Panthers’ stadium.
Finally, there was the time Richardson was ousted from the league after a Sports Illustrated report, written by human beings Jon Wertheim and Viv Bernstein, detailed a litany of sexual harassment claims that the Panthers owner dished out millions of dollars to settle. He made the team’s female employees turn around so that he could get a good look at their asses. He ordered them to get manicures. And he invited one into his office to massage his feet. For all of this good ol’ boying, Richardson was forced to sell the Panthers five years ago to hedge fund magnate David Tepper. Tepper outbid a small number of other suitors that included Fanatics owner Michael Rubin. Upon his $2.2 billion purchase, and until Rob Walton bought the Denver Broncos in 2022, Tepper was the wealthiest owner in the NFL.
He has never been afraid to luxuriate in that fact.
Because there are stories about Tepper now, too. There was the time Tepper kept a pair of brass balls on his desk that he rubbed every day for good luck. There was the time he bragged about bringing live music to Charlotte for the first time in that city’s history (this was untrue). There was the time he broke ground on an $800 million practice facility in Rock Hill, SC, complete with $115 million in tax breaks, only to abandon the project when that city declined to give him even more money. There was the time he hired Pepsi loyalist Matt Rhule to coach the Panthers, only to have it prove disastrous. Tepper could have kept Steve Wilks to permanently replace Rhule after Wilks had compiled a damn near miraculous 6-6 record as interim coach … only he hired retread Frank Reich instead. He then forced Reich to meet with him after every game. Those meetings did not improve morale on any front.
Which brings us to now. The Panthers are 1-10. They’re not merely the worst team in football, but the worst by leaps and bounds. That shouldn’t be possible when the 2023 Giants, Jets, Commanders, Cardinals, and Patriots all exist, but here we are. The Panthers can’t block. They’re a bottom-five team in both rushing and passing offense. They traded away their first rounder next spring—all but certain to be No. 1 overall—to draft Bryce Young instead of C.J. Stroud, only watch Young regress every week. And they lost to the 4-7 Titans last week when, at the very end, they ordered Young to throw a screen pass two yards behind the line of scrimmage on fourth-and-6.
Tepper was unenthused by that loss, so much so that he fired Reich less than a year into the new head coach’s tenure. Between his Panthers and his MLS team, Charlotte FC, Tepper will have fired 10 coaches within a span of eight seasons. He’d like the next Panthers coach he hires to be the last one he ever hires. I think that you and I know that won’t be the case. You and I already know that the only constant Panthers fans will experience over the next few years—decades, likely—is David Tepper being an incompetent, meddling asshole who never wins a fucking thing.
Because I know this kind of owner. I lived in the D.C. area for almost the entirety of Dan Snyder’s tenure as steward of the Commanders. Like Tepper, Snyder took over his franchise from a dusty old fossil. And like Tepper, Snyder was unafraid to throw his money around. This was new money. Good money. At the very beginning, there was the feeling in Washington that Snyder was different, and different in the NFL always comes with the promise of better. Tepper’s acquisition of the Panthers had a similar feel, especially after he had that statue of Jerry Richardson sent into the blast furnace. Everything in Carolina would be fresh and exciting with Tepper in charge, just like it would be when Snyder took over in Washington.
You know what happened there. Snyder’s Commanders won a grand total of two playoff games under his watch. They blew through eight head coaches and 28 starting quarterbacks. The only constant for them this century was Snyder being an absolute fucking embarrassment. Such is the case now in Carolina. Like Dan Snyder, Tepper has been unafraid to meddle. Like Snyder, he discards head coaches like they’re common wastepaper. Like Snyder, he abandoned a boondoggle of a practice facility in a neighboring state. And, just like Snyder, Tepper is an incredible asshole who will never, ever acknowledge his shortcomings.
There are other terrible owners in the NFL. Many of them, in fact. I wouldn’t even know what a good owner looks like, to be honest. But most of the bad owners fall into relatively benign categories. There are geriatric fools like the McCaskeys. There are clueless idiots like Mark Davis. There are common crooks like Jimmy Haslam. And there are skinflints like Mike Brown. But none of those owners are quite like Snyder, and none of them are like David Tepper. David Tepper is the King of Suck Mountain, less an owner than he is a sentencing. The pall he casts over the Panthers franchise, and over both Carolinas, is so dark as to be eternal nightfall.
And while Tepper has yet to be accused of any of the particular kind of nasty shit that both Snyder and Richardson pulled, is there anything to suggest he’s not the type to feel entitled to anything he pleases? And can’t you already guess that continued futility—the Panthers have yet to make the playoffs since Tepper purchased the team—will only make him worse? That’s the promise that David Tepper ensures now. In just five years, he has made things impossibly ugly in Carolina. He will only make them uglier: more firings, more bullying, and more losses. Lots of them.
That’s where the dread comes in. It’s not merely that Tepper is a waste of skin; it’s that he’s never going to leave. I remember Commanders fans realizing that Snyder was dud and then having the even worse realization that, “Oh god, I’m gonna die before he does.” They feared, fairly, that they would be stuck with that man for the entirety of their fandom.
That’s David Tepper now. The rightful heir to Dan Snyder. Snyder only ended up selling the Commanders only because decades of open evildoing forced him to. Tepper, a spry 66, will have to commit similar acts over a similar span to do likewise.
