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Bed bugs: a millennial tries to cope

TownieDeac

TownieDeac

words are futile devices
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I have them. Woke up in the middle of the night itching and found the culprit.

So how fucked am I?

I am obviously calling pest control as soon as they open today but any other tips are appreciated.

Do I basically just burn all my shit and start a new life in a different state? Do I bear a lifelong stigma now? I'm operating on 0 sleep so I may be freaking out a little but I've heard they can be tough to get rid of.

Fuck.
 
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I expect some quality tag work on this thread.

There is a lot of conflicting information on what works- even truly effective treatments (CO2 freezing) can worsen the problem if the application process is done incorrectly. In buildings where we've had the issue, we use multiple applications of CO2 freezing and HEPA vacuuming. The CO2 freeze has to be applied slowly with lower pressure otherwise it only scatters the little bastards. But you have to vacuum over and over to get dead bugs and eggs- the eggs are the big problem. They're drawn to heat so we've been leery of the high-heat methods but I should say that I'm only referring to commercial buildings, not residences. But you're in for some work. Gotta move furniture, take it apart, treat/vacuum, hit bedframes, headboards, electrical outlets, light fixtures, and vacuum over and over. And empty your vacuum each time. Seal the bag and either freeze it until you can dispose of them offsite or take offsite as you go.

Be wary of anyone promising single-treatment, 100% effective solutions. The science on BBs is still evolving and there is a lot of competing opinions and evidence on all sides.
 
Give these guys a call, and don't worry about the smell left behind.

episode-3-jesse-walt.jpeg


But seriously, I feel for you man. Is this something your landlord should/would cover?

Good luck with everything.
 
One of my friends had them last year. She had everything she owned dry cleaned, and had her whole apartment fumigated. Her landlord covered the fumigation treatment. She was still freaked out after all this and ended up moving to a new apartment where she hasn't had any further problems.
 
I am already moving at the end of the month but there's no way any of these fuckers are coming with me. I am basically gonna toss everything I own.

Exterminator coming today.

ETA taggers better make me laugh
 
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Brother-in-law works for a university housing department. They use heat. He says it works. He also says dogs are used to detect infestations. Chemicals do not work.
 
Should we be surprised that this man has an insect infestation in his sleeping quarters?:

townie.4.jpg
 
Dude, if you have bed bugs then I don't even want you posting until you remedy that shiz.
 
Never had bed bugs, lice or crabs in my family...knock on wood
 
You should probably invest in some mice. Rats will do, but mice are probably better. Say what you will about America, but $13 still buys a hell of a lot mice. The bed bugs will latch themselves to the mice. Then you should get some cats, probably a dozen or so depending on the breed. You obviously know where this is going, suffice it to say, it will end with you having to kill a python with your bare hands. #bschoolsolutions
 
Burn everything and start over. Sadly I think that's the only way.

Any idea how you got them? Any recently picked up used furniture or bedding in your apartment?
 
Oh man that really sucks. I bet your ladyfriend is SO JAZZED to move in with you now.

I think bed bugs can't walk on slippery things?? So after treating things that you're going to keep you should keep them in plastic bags for a while in case any escaped and that way they can't spread.
 
You need to figure out where they live. If you have any holes in your mattress, you need to toss it. Check the seams around the corners, bed bugs live anywhere where the is darkness during the day. If you have carpeting, you'll need to check under the carpet along the baseboards. If they're there, you'll see their droppings. In that case you could very well have to rip all the carpeting out, have the floorboards treated and new carpeting put in. Have you bought any second hand furniture/clothing/bedding recently?

You'll definitely want an exterminator to come out and treat the place. If you don't know of one, try calling a couple hotels and ask them who they use.
 
are you sure it wasn't a stray crab from your dong or lady's wajeeje? I've seen stories where lady cheats gets crabs and blames it on bedbugs
 
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