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Chat Thread: biff brings board balance

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Hypothetical:

Your wife/girlfriend and your mother have traded consciousnesses. The only way to get them to switch back is to have sex with one of them. Which one is it: sex with your mother’s body and significant other’s brain or significant other’s body and mother’s brain?
 
TownieDeac said:
Hypothetical:

Your wife/girlfriend and your mother have traded consciousnesses. The only way to get them to switch back is to have sex with one of them. Which one is it: sex with your mother’s body and significant other’s brain or significant other’s body and mother’s brain?
Click to expand...

Why would you do this?
 
Ah interesting, the stay put answer. Gotta say I think that’s worse.
 
Also, as an interesting aside, I found out a couple of days ago that my mom banged Neil Young while she was in college. My mom is fucking awesome.
 
mako1331 said:
Also, as an interesting aside, I found out a couple of days ago that my mom banged Neil Young while she was in college. My mom is fucking awesome.
Click to expand...

So I guess the answer for you is you bang your sig other and the whole time you’re asking your brain mom who’s a better lay you or Neil Young
 
Big day for the Charlotte restaurant scene. Art’s Bar-B-Q closing after43 years. I couldn’t get in the door yesterday for fried chicken special. Waiting for breakfast sandwich now. News crew on scene. Developing.
 
TownieDeac said:
Hypothetical:

Your wife/girlfriend and your mother have traded consciousnesses. The only way to get them to switch back is to have sex with one of them. Which one is it: sex with your mother’s body and significant other’s brain or significant other’s body and mother’s brain?
Click to expand...

JUIIICCCEEEEEEEEEE
 
This morning's story goes out to our friend Turds.

I left the house today thinking, hmm, I probably should have taken a dump at the house before I left. Ah well, I can make it to work.

A couple stops later on metro, and I'm panicked. I'm about 30 seconds away from full on turtle-heading. The pressure in my gut is mounting. A single bead of sweat dripped down my face. I got out at the Shaw metro stop thinking there's gotta be some place I can duck into. Got off on the wrong exit and I'm in the middle of a residential street. Half a brain cell told me there was a spot behind a dumpster with my name on it, but I spotted a public library across the street. I goosestepped across a fairly busy road willing my anus with every step to show some goddamned respect, only to find the library wasn't open yet. But for a minute I thought maybe the feeling had passed. Still, I knew better than to full on accept this false dawn, and I spotted a 7-11 around the corner. Went in and casually tried to make it look for a second like I wanted to buy some Funions or whatever before scurrying up to the counter and very politely asking if they had a restroom. A goblin from hell working behind the counter belted out NO! I think there was jizz on his shirt. Or some heretofore unknown 7-11 grease. Either way I left in a hurry. I knew if I just generally kept walking south there was a retail area, and soon enough I spotted a bagel/coffee shop. By now the eye of the storm has passed and we're fully back in hurricane winds. I ordered a coffee and kept super cool asking about the restroom situation. He said we do have bathrooms but he'll have to unlock them, I'm the first person to ask today. Great! Thanks! Now if you imagine a big load of tourists waiting to get off a train at the Smithsonian metro stop all at once, backed up waiting for the doors to open, this is currently happening in my colon. I had to take off my laptop bag, shift my coat out of the way, drop trousers, and before I was even fully squatting, the train doors opened up and I emitted a projectile stream of shit the likes of which I haven't experienced since Bonnaroo 2006.

Pretty good coffee there though. And I made it to work by 9.
 
TIL that GTB is townie's parody. well done all around. i never would have suspected it
 
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