I've got a big insider leak and I'm going to publish it here.
Currie’s Top-Secret Coaching Search Phone Transcripts:
CALL 1
Billy Donovan: Billy speaking
Currie: Hi Billy, John Currie from Wake Forest. We’ve noticed you’ve done a great job with a 34 year-old Chris Paul this year. How’d you like to come to Wake Forest to recruit and coach the next great Demon Deacon point guard?
CLICK
Currie: Billy, you still there?
CALL 2
Brad Stevens: You guys calling me again?
Currie: Hi Brad, John Currie here, not Mr. Wellman. We’ve reconsidered our offer and want to offer you a lot more money than last time.
Stevens: How much we talking?
Currie: I have authority to offer you up to $18 million dollars for 5 years.
CLICK
Currie: Brad, you still there?
CALL 3
Beilein: *Classic rock music blasting in the background* Hello, John Beilein here.
Currie: Hi, this is John Currie, Athletic Director from Wake Forest.
Beilein: How’s it going? I was expecting your call.
Currie: Well, I see you’ve left the NBA to come back to coach in college and we here at Wake Forest think you would be the perfect fit.
Beilein: That’s cool, but Texas offered me $6 million dollars a year already, plus my old assistant Luke, a private jet, a brand new Bentley truck, and some other nice perks, can you match that?
CLICK
Beilein: John, you still there?
CALL 4
Matta: You have reached the voicemail of Thad Matta. I’m currently on vacation for an indefinite time frame. BEEEP.
CLICK
CALL 5
Grant: You’ve reached the voicemail of Anthony Grant. I’m currently coaching in the Final 4 and I will get back to you at my earliest convenience.
CLICK
CALL 6 (Group call)
Forbes: Wasssssuuupppppp!!!!
Currie: Wassssssuuuuppppp!!!!
Clawson: Wasssssuuuppppppp!!!
Currie: Steve, you wanna bring the gang back together?
Forbes: I’m in.
Currie: Cool, I’ve just got to my “due diligence” and make a few more calls, but I’ll call you back. Say hello to your mother for me.
CLICK
CALL 7
Shaka: Hey John, great hearing from you…so I’m looking for a job buddy.
Currie: Ok, but I’ve talked to my boss and he said still no deal on your wife’s tenured professor position.
Shaka: Hatch fucked me again!
CLICK
CALL 8
Wes Miller: Hi, this is Wes Miller.
Currie: Hi Wes, John Currie from Wake Forest here.
Miller: Yes.
Currie: But I haven’t asked you….
Miller: Yes I want it.
Currie: Just so you know, we don’t have an on-campus arena
Miller: How do you expect me to be successful!!??!
CLICK
Miller: John, you still there? I mean, I’d still take the offer.
CALL 9
John Becker: John Becker, Vermont Basketball coach speaking.
Currie: Hi, John. Great name by the way! This is John Currie from Wake Forest.
Becker: Oh I’ve been hoping to get a call like this.
Currie: Well I’ve noticed you’ve compiled a great winning percentage at your school, one of the fastest coaches to get to 100 wins in NCAA history. We are considering making you an offer to become the next basketball coach at Wake Forest
Becker: Ok well, just so you know, being from Vermont, I’m for Medicare4All, so I’m a little worried about what type of health insurance plan you’re offering down there in North Carolina.
Currie: Well, surprisingly I’ve been getting asked that a lot lately. It’s a pretty standard HMO with premiums and deductibles. We offer dental and vision for a little bit extra out of your paycheck.
CLICK
Currie: If Bernie was president I could’ve landed him!
CALL 10
Pat Kelsey: PAT KELSEY HERE, AND I NEED YOU TO COME TO THE ARENA NEXT WEEK TO SUPPORT WINTHROP BASKETBALL!!!!
Currie: Hey Pat, John Currie here.
Kelsey: AWESOME! CAN I COUNT ON YOU TO COME JOIN THE CROWD NEXT WEEKEND?
Currie: I’m calling about potentially offering you the next job to become the next head basketball coach at Wake Forest University.
Kelsey: Just so you know, I don’t sign contracts anymore. Got myself in a bit of a quandary last time.
CLICK
Kelsey: John you still there?