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Hookup Mishap Stories

myDeaconmyhand said:
Facepalm

Jesus that's funny. My stories are pretty lamesauce compared to the epic wins so far on this thread. I was drinking with some friends in Huffman one night and after shot gunning a few too many I went into the bathroom to yak. A girl I had been crushing on follows me in, and proceeds to violently make out with me while I'm desperately trying not to vom in her mouth. I was pretty black out at that point, so I don't remember how it ended, but she told me I didn't puke.

Another time I went to Franklin Street with some friends on the night of the UNC-Duke game, and went to this bar/club called East End. One of the friends was an army guy from the 82nd who was in town for the weekend, and he bought us all rounds of 151 :)tard:) We comically start grinding on everything that moves upstairs like the my new haircut video, and this Indian chick I'm dancing with pulls up her skirt and tells me to finger her on the dance floor. It's getting pretty heated, but being the pervert I am, I smell my finger and it smells like death and cabbage: Immediate boner killer. Upon review from my less drunk friends, the girl was a 5 at best and I made the right move getting out.
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I have no words for this
 
94Deac said:
It's an acquired taste. Like kimchi or curry.
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projectile+vomiting+123.jpg
 
I went to catholic school from 3-10 grade and one of the girls there and I have remained friends over the years. In 8th grade she told me I had beautiful eyes and her father once told her to marry a man like me.

When I was at wake I visited her at her sorority house during the FSU wake game (the sorority house is a whole different story) but we had never been more than friends.

In law school we were talking with each other on a pretty frequent basis and there was some flirting but i was in virginia and she lived in florida and she was just a good person to talk to. So right before graduating my friends and I rent a penthouse condo on the beach in Jacksonville and she comes out to meet us and take us to bars. She had been tanning with her friend that is a cheerleader for the jaguars.

She decides she is going to match me bourbon for bourbon. I warn her this is a bad idea. She reminds me she went to FSU. (this was probably my first clue that she wanted some DC06). We go out to the bars and things are going swimmingly. I insist she shouldn't go drink for drink but she does. Riley skinner shows up at the bar. She knows his family.

I slow down my pace because I don't want her to die. We go back to the condo and I'm not sure what the signs are but we are reminiscing and then we go to bed. Same room separate beds. She just keeps repeating "ooooooooo I'm so drunk". As an almost lawyer at this point i cut bait. nothing happens.

Next day the girls I'm with ask what happened i relate the events and they say "you're an idiot. That was your sign. You have got to quit inviting girls over and not giving them any." (I did have a bad habit of that at this point)

Any way moral of the story: make up your fucking mind women. You can't essentially say, "oh there is no way I could legally consent right now" and then still want some loving.
 
DeaconCav06 said:
I went to catholic school from 3-10 grade and one of the girls there and I have remained friends over the years. In 8th grade she told me I had beautiful eyes and her father once told her to marry a man like me.

When I was at wake I visited her at her sorority house during the FSU wake game (the sorority house is a whole different story) but we had never been more than friends.

In law school we were talking with each other on a pretty frequent basis and there was some flirting but i was in virginia and she lived in florida and she was just a good person to talk to. So right before graduating my friends and I rent a penthouse condo on the beach in Jacksonville and she comes out to meet us and take us to bars. She had been tanning with her friend that is a cheerleader for the jaguars.

She decides she is going to match me bourbon for bourbon. I warn her this is a bad idea. She reminds me she went to FSU. (this was probably my first clue that she wanted some DC06). We go out to the bars and things are going swimmingly. I insist she shouldn't go drink for drink but she does. Riley skinner shows up at the bar. She knows his family.

I slow down my pace because I don't want her to die. We go back to the condo and I'm not sure what the signs are but we are reminiscing and then we go to bed. Same room separate beds. She just keeps repeating "ooooooooo I'm so drunk". As an almost lawyer at this point i cut bait. nothing happens.

Next day the girls I'm with ask what happened i relate the events and they say "you're an idiot. That was your sign. You have got to quit inviting girls over and not giving them any." (I did have a bad habit of that at this point)

Any way moral of the story: make up your fucking mind women. You can't essentially say, "oh there is no way I could legally consent right now" and then still want some loving.
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I absolutely love how this has nothing to do with the story at all. I'm going to start inserting this into things I say and write in everyday life.
 
i got two i guess:
first one, is at wake I made out with this chick that was decently attractive but miserable when I was black out, had no recollection of it. Peeps told me about it and was like whatevs, then later I found out she fbooked and left me a message on my phone, and I was like oh god and just ignored her. Fast forward to being out a few nights later, and I was drunk again and I am very susceptible to peer pressure, so my friends were like just tax her shes cute, shes not that bad etc. So we get back to her room and we are both naked and fooling around and shes like "do you know (her ex bf name)?" I was just like uhh yeah, got up got dressed couldnt find my t-shirt and just left it there, and walked back to my room.

Another one was at a party deacphans house, there is like this mutli-purpose room however to get to one person's bedroom you have to go through it. So I taxed a girl in there, while the guy that lives in the bedroom attached to it was also taxing a girl, so we did the business, girl passed out naked on a love seat, no covers, etc.. I got dressed went downstairs and passed out on the couch. Now the next morning the girl in the one guys room walks out and is like "there is a naked chick in there", he walks in and sees her, and a couple of other peeps walked in too and did immediate u-turns.
 
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DeaconCav06 said:
I slow down my pace because I don't want her to die. We go back to the condo and I'm not sure what the signs are but we are reminiscing and then we go to bed. Same room separate beds. She just keeps repeating "ooooooooo I'm so drunk". As an almost lawyer at this point i cut bait. nothing happens.
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THIS IS THE MATING CALL OF THE SOUTHERN WOMAN. Come on man! :rulz:
 
This thread sucks moose clit with no lesbian stories. Of course I realize that with the exception of the few guys here who drink wine and sit down to pee that we don't really have any women here, but I know some of you twats have some "made out with another girl one night in Babcock" stories. C'mon, goddamn it.
 
Nope, sorry. I've seen plenty of tits-n-clits but that's about it.
 
I saw plenty of girls make out with each other. What's the big deal? One of my Exes had her friends make out with me to show off my skillz.
 
DeaconCav06 said:
I saw plenty of girls make out with each other. What's the big deal? One of my Exes had her friends make out with me to show off my skillz.
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Yeah, there was about 5 years there when the big thing for Attention Whores to do was to make out w/ each other.

Now its kind of expected. :shrug:
 
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