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How often do you poop?

Average Poops per day

  • Total voters
    100
  • Poll closed .
If he's nervous, just pass along this list of questions:

1. When did he start this schedule of pooping only on Monday morning and Friday night?
2. Was it a conscious decision to adopt this schedule, or did it arise involuntarily via the magic of his internal biology?
3. How long does each poop take? Is the Monday morning poop lighter than the Friday night poop, since less time has passed in between poops?
4. If the answer to 3b is "yes," approximately how much lighter? A percentage is fine.
5. In general, how large is that Friday night poop? Compare to every day items.
6. Does it hurt? Is there blood?
7. What happens if there's a 3-day weekend? Does he then go Tuesday morning/Thursday night, or does he keep the same schedule? Is it just a coincidence that his pooping schedule coincides with the standard American workweek?
8. If he drinks like a big ass mug of coffee on Wednesday and eats a bowl of oatmeal with raisins and maybe some whole wheat toast, does he really not immediately go drop a deuce? How is that possible? What if he eats a greek salad for lunch or some lentil or black bean soup?
9. Does he spend all day Friday just like farting 9000 times in anticipation of his night poop so that he in essence hot boxes his entire office?
10. Not a question, but he should take a picture of his next poop on Friday night. I think it would be helpful to see it.
 
Even my three year old has figured out that when Daddy grabs the sports section and walks towards the bathroom then it is game on.
 
SC DEAC said:
Even my three year old has figured out that when Daddy grabs the sports section and walks towards the bathroom then it is game on.
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You need to invest in an iPad.

I can't remember what poops were like 3 years ago, and i don't want to imagine it. They should call it the iPoop.
 
SC DEAC said:
Even my three year old has figured out that when Daddy grabs the sports section and walks towards the bathroom then it is game on.
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My soon to be 3 year old takes a book with him to poop also. LOL I wonder where he got that?
 
Deacfreak07 said:
Beer shits definitely break the pattern of regularity. A good beer shit is necessary every now and again. Cleanses the body of toxins.
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its the smells like straight beer or other alcohol of choice to... not a good smell waking up with a hangover to smell shit beer smell
 
Deacfreak07 said:
Beer shits definitely break the pattern of regularity. A good beer shit is necessary every now and again. Cleanses the body of toxins.
Click to expand...

Sunday evening poops are always the most dangerous. Two nights of drinking, plus a weekend of eating absolute crap is a lethal combination.

dstanleywfu said:
its the smells like straight beer or other alcohol of choice to... not a good smell waking up with a hangover to smell shit beer smell
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The worst, and trust me on this one, is 99 Bananas shits. Beach week in college one year somebody decided it would be fun to get drunk off a 5th of 99 Bananas. It smelled exactly the same coming out as going in. I havent touched the stuff since.
 
Can we get DaDeacs a custom title for being our least regular pooper?*


*doesn't include girls who collectively poop zero times a year
 
the Chinese buffet food shit is always a 30 minute festival of shitting.. just runs right through you like its nothing
 
Say Hey Deac said:
If he's nervous, just pass along this list of questions:

1. When did he start this schedule of pooping only on Monday morning and Friday night?
2. Was it a conscious decision to adopt this schedule, or did it arise involuntarily via the magic of his internal biology?
3. How long does each poop take? Is the Monday morning poop lighter than the Friday night poop, since less time has passed in between poops?
4. If the answer to 3b is "yes," approximately how much lighter? A percentage is fine.
5. In general, how large is that Friday night poop? Compare to every day items.
6. Does it hurt? Is there blood?
7. What happens if there's a 3-day weekend? Does he then go Tuesday morning/Thursday night, or does he keep the same schedule? Is it just a coincidence that his pooping schedule coincides with the standard American workweek?
8. If he drinks like a big ass mug of coffee on Wednesday and eats a bowl of oatmeal with raisins and maybe some whole wheat toast, does he really not immediately go drop a deuce? How is that possible? What if he eats a greek salad for lunch or some lentil or black bean soup?
9. Does he spend all day Friday just like farting 9000 times in anticipation of his night poop so that he in essence hot boxes his entire office?
10. Not a question, but he should take a picture of his next poop on Friday night. I think it would be helpful to see it.
Click to expand...

The guy in notorious for sending out poop pics. Im sure I can scroll back through the texts and post a few if wanted.
 
tsywake said:
The worst, and trust me on this one, is 99 Bananas shits. Beach week in college one year somebody decided it would be fun to get drunk off a 5th of 99 Bananas. It smelled exactly the same coming out as going in. I havent touched the stuff since.
Click to expand...

lol...............
 
I know he eats a lot of ramen noodles without the flavor packets. He adds ketchup and salsa and claims it tastes like spaghetti. He has enough quail in the freezer to last years, eats that and deer meat quite often. Lots of black eyed peas and cabbage as well. Juices vegetables in house, drinks water other than that.

Works as a nighttime courier so hes sitting or laying down 23 hours a day

Ill have to find out more later
 
Screamindemon3 said:
I know he eats a lot of ramen noodles without the flavor packets. He adds ketchup and salsa and claims it tastes like spaghetti. He has enough quail in the freezer to last years, eats that and deer meat quite often. Lots of black eyed peas and cabbage as well. Juices vegetables in house, drinks water other than that.

Works as a nighttime courier so hes sitting or laying down 23 hours a day

Ill have to find out more later
Click to expand...

WHAT. IS. THAT.
 
KickballDeac said:
Girls don't poop, man. This poll is further proof of that fact. #biology
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I've posted this before but I hooked up with a girl @ UGA whose roommate (the used tampon splattered on the window of O-house girl for those who may recall) walked into the bathroom while I was taking a morning shower and said "oh, don't mind me, I'm just taking a shit." It was at once both mesmerizing and shocking. What a lady.
 
Funny timing....just talked about this with some friends recently.

I go 2-3 times a week.

I usually have to flush 2 times and usually need to break up the product using plunger or toilet brush in order not to clog the toilet.

Right now, I'm at 56ish hours since my last go so I'm expecting movement in the next 24-36. Also, I usually only have the urge to poop when I'm at my home. So travel can be difficult if it is longer than 5-6 days.
 
94Deac said:
I've posted this before but I hooked up with a girl @ UGA whose roommate (the used tampon splattered on the window of O-house girl for those who may recall) walked into the bathroom while I was taking a morning shower and said "oh, don't mind me, I'm just taking a shit." It was at once both mesmerizing and shocking. What a lady.
Click to expand...

:eek: I dont know if I want that thread bumped or not
 
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