Trump just got off the phone with China's President Xi. A transcript has been leaked.
Trump : Hi, President Xi. I know who our spies in China are.
Xi: You should. You are very smart and important.
Trump: I'm hungry. If you promise to send me some Chinese food, I'll tell you.
Xi: I'll send some right over. I wouldn't want my powerful friend to be hungry.
Trump: I'm your friend?
Xi: You're my best friend.
Trump: Well, we have Johnny and Suzy and Paul and Ping spying on you.
Xi: Thanks, buddy.
30 minutes later
Trump: Where's my food?
Xi: I'm so sorry. It's stuck in traffic. Because you had to wait, I'll send you more tomorrow.
Trump: Oh, boy. I almost forgot. Michael Wong, the general's aide isn't really Chinese.