The Buzz lover you love to hate from the other boards dropping in to drop a deuce and truth bombs on y’all Dino slurpers and Bz haters. All I can do is be myself and brush off y’all haders like flies. Bzzzz Bzzzz swat!
First. I have transitioned from overalls to a mankini. I believe the mankini provides a snugger fit while giving my manjigglies more room to breath in the stuffy confines of Section 2. I apologize in advance to any families sitting behind me who may be exposed to one of my family jewels (get it? I am talking about families and family jewels is a euphemism for balls, which makes it doubly punny) while I’m cheering on my Deacs during one of Coach [Redacted]’s patented 4-0 runs.
Please refrain from any childish references to hanging and/or Benoit balls as you guys over here on this board are prone to make. That is one of the main reasons I’ve stayed away from these boards till now.
Second. Let’s get real here. Dino was a Guido Sardouchebag who derailed the culture of our esteemed University by recruiting thugoons and hooligans like James Johnson. Let’s be better than those light blue pansies in Chapel Hill. I don’t want any PJ Hairstons at Wake, and that was the direction Dino ‘never soar’ Gaudio was taking us.
Third. [Redacted] has done exactly what has been asked of him. He has brought in upstanding citizens who just also happen to be solid, fundamentally-sound basketball players. Fundamentals start from the head up.
He is an honorable man who only expects the best from the men under his warm, loving, toned and supple wing. You guys make fun of him for teaching proper sock technique, but think about it. If your socks aren’t on correctly, your toes might get itchy. If your toes are itchy, you are only thinking about getting your finger down there to scratch the itch. If your focus is on scratching the itchy, how make you make basic basketball plays like dribbling and passing and shooting? The answer is, you can’t! So while you guys are playing kiddie checkers, Coach [Redacted] is playing big-boy chess.
Now that he has his players in the program, Coach [Redacted] is winning and winning big. UNC is still UNC. We just beat a Notre Dame team that made the national championship game last year. Things are looking bright, and I look forward to the press conference announcing a [Redacted] extension as soon as the season is over.
Go Deacs!