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The Pit Parenting Thread

I think our greatest failure as a human race is that we still feed our newborns like it’s biblical times. Thousands of years on earth and we haven’t improved from the cycle of: breast or bottle feeding, followed by baby constantly being gassy and/or fussy, then finally a short reprieve of quiet and rest before starting the entire process again. Then we repeat this ridiculous cycle 8-12 times/day.

For shame humans. For shame.
 
BillBrasky said:
I think our greatest failure as a human race is that we still feed our newborns like it’s biblical times. Thousands of years on earth and we haven’t improved from the cycle of: breast or bottle feeding, followed by baby constantly being gassy and/or fussy, then finally a short reprieve of quiet and rest before starting the entire process again. Then we repeat this ridiculous cycle 8-12 times/day.

For shame humans. For shame.
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Until the last ~15-20 years, this has primarily been a woman problem, not something men had to deal with, so of course we didn't do anything to fix it.
 
to be fair, we probably were involved and then invented the idea of hiring other women to do it, or something.

also, infant started daycare last week and my daughter moved into preschool so everyone's routine is no one h as slept through the night in a week and a half.
 
ImTheCaptain said:
to be fair, we probably were involved and then invented the idea of hiring other women to do it, or something.

also, infant started daycare last week and my daughter moved into preschool so everyone's routine is no one h as slept through the night in a week and a half.
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60 -70 years ago, my grandfathers didn't do a thing to help with infants. My dad is/was a great dad (little league coach, boy scout assistant scout master, etc.) but I don't think he has ever changed a diaper in his life. Men just didn't do that stuff until recently. There has been a 1000s of year bias in infant care falling on the mother and so problems with infant care just didn't seem important to fix in a male dominated society.
 
yeah my dad couldnt change a diaper to save his life. pretty weird to think they were so completely unplugged only 30-40 years ago
 
My dad could barely cook an egg and struggled with the microwave, in addition to probably never changing a diaper.

Men used to be lazy AF. Those things take about 2 mins to learn. I think I learned how to change a diaper in 30 secs. Now I'm the king at it, much better than my wife.
 
I don't think I had ever changed a diaper until we were in the hospital with our son. I haven't been around many babies prior to him, other than my sisters when I was little and wouldn't have changed one then. It's easy AF.
 
We are currently at the "passive aggressively singing the specific daniel tiger jingle that would have prevented whatever thing my 3 year old is yelling about" phase of parenting. Seems good.
 
tiltdeac said:
We are currently at the "passive aggressively singing the specific daniel tiger jingle that would have prevented whatever thing my 3 year old is yelling about" phase of parenting. Seems good.
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lol

"LET'S MAKE GOOD CHOICES, itcKID"
 
birdman said:
60 -70 years ago, my grandfathers didn't do a thing to help with infants. My dad is/was a great dad (little league coach, boy scout assistant scout master, etc.) but I don't think he has ever changed a diaper in his life. Men just didn't do that stuff until recently. There has been a 1000s of year bias in infant care falling on the mother and so problems with infant care just didn't seem important to fix in a male dominated society.
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The weird thing is (and I imagine it's generally true for most moms/dads) is that my wife really misses those baby days, even though they were laborious (and I would say we pretty well split the parenting duties)
We have a 4.5 y/o who is starting to become "fun" and a 2.5 y/o that just got out of diapers. The wife is already starting to miss those baby days while I can't wait for them to get older so they can be even more fun. I feel that the most fun years of being a Dad (of kids that live at home) will be the 6-12 year window, my wife will probably most treasure the 6 months to 5 year window.
 
I don't think that's weird at all and it lines up with what birdman's posting. For biological moms, parenting is a continuous process of something going from in her body into an independent being.
 
PhDeac said:
I don't think that's weird at all and it lines up with what birdman's posting. For biological moms, parenting is a continuous process of something going from in her body into an independent being.
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Yeah, weird probably isn't the right word as I kind of understand it along the lines above, but from my perspective, missing the baby days is strange. I feel like the "baby days" are more of a right of passage, sure you might look back at them fondly, but i'm glad we're not going back to those days, whereas sometimes I feel like my wife would freeze time when our kids were 3 and 1 if she could.
 
Baconwfu said:
Yeah, weird probably isn't the right word as I kind of understand it along the lines above, but from my perspective, missing the baby days is strange. I feel like the "baby days" are more of a right of passage, sure you might look back at them fondly, but i'm glad we're not going back to those days, whereas sometimes I feel like my wife would freeze time when our kids were 3 and 1 if she could.
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I do miss the baby days with my daughter sometimes (especially when she directly or indirectly reminds me that she is a teenager now). She was a great sleeper, very cuddly, and all around extremely easy as a baby. She was more fun to do stuff with once she was 2.5 or so, but sometimes I just want to cuddle with a sleeping baby on the couch and doze off. I will most certainly not miss baby days with my son. He never stops moving, has pretty wild mood swings, and over the past two years, I've slept all the way through the night maybe about 10% of the time. I'm more than ready for him to move out of this stage.
 
I was getting $5000 pre-tax deducted for a dependent care FSA. Usually the $5000 is use it or lose it that year with a 2.5 month grace period into the next year. We took the boys out of after school back in March and are doing e-learning.

I did some research and found that the IRS changed the rules to allow employees to stop or add to their FSA due to COVID-19. It was an easy email and phone call to end the deductions for the year. Just so everybody knows.
 
PhDeac said:
I was getting $5000 pre-tax deducted for a dependent care FSA. Usually the $5000 is use it or lose it that year with a 2.5 month grace period into the next year. We took the boys out of after school back in March and are doing e-learning.

I did some research and found that the IRS changed the rules to allow employees to stop or add to their FSA due to COVID-19. It was an easy email and phone call to end the deductions for the year. Just so everybody knows.
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Yep, we were able to end deductions (and get the money back out) last year as well.
 
BillBrasky said:
I think our greatest failure as a human race is that we still feed our newborns like it’s biblical times. Thousands of years on earth and we haven’t improved from the cycle of: breast or bottle feeding, followed by baby constantly being gassy and/or fussy, then finally a short reprieve of quiet and rest before starting the entire process again. Then we repeat this ridiculous cycle 8-12 times/day.

For shame humans. For shame.
Click to expand...


I would argue that our greatest failure has more to do with the unchanged expectations of women, nearly immediately postpartum. It is great that lots of men are more involved now and a big gold star to all the guys here who do their best to make the work an even split... but holy hell the fact that women have to go back to work within weeks of giving birth is STUPID. I was immeasurably fortunate to have the time built up to take 19 weeks of paid maternity leave. The reddit group I'm part of (all women who had October '19 babies) had women who had to go back after THREE WEEKS. I cried for them.

Feeding is a big deal, and it is exhausting however you handle it in your house. The fact families do not get more grace during that time makes me angry to think about.
 
Also, re: baby days.
This baby is a total unicorn baby. Sleeps through the night, hardly ever cries, is funny and affectionate, never any eating issues or gas/colic. I love our days and new experiences with her, but we are admittedly having a pretty easy go of things. I am already finding myself missing when she was an even younger baby (she's 10mo now), but I think more because I see how quickly she's growing and changing and learning, and it's very 'in your face' with how fleeting this stage is. No doubt there's more excitement to come, but I do get the feeling of wanting to freeze time.
 
lbE08 said:
I would argue that our greatest failure has more to do with the unchanged expectations of women, nearly immediately postpartum. It is great that lots of men are more involved now and a big gold star to all the guys here who do their best to make the work an even split... but holy hell the fact that women have to go back to work within weeks of giving birth is STUPID. I was immeasurably fortunate to have the time built up to take 19 weeks of paid maternity leave. The reddit group I'm part of (all women who had October '19 babies) had women who had to go back after THREE WEEKS. I cried for them.

Feeding is a big deal, and it is exhausting however you handle it in your house. The fact families do not get more grace during that time makes me angry to think about.
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