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What Do You Do When Your SO is Away?

I myself have a guys' night planned tonight where we plan to watch baseball, smoke weed, and make fun of each other. Golf Sunday. BBQ Monday.

Though to be honest I get to do this most weekends because I'm not a whipped little bitch like you guys. Wassup.

Slammed.
 
BaseballBoomhauer said:
I myself have a guys' night planned tonight where we plan to watch baseball, smoke weed, and make fun of each other. Golf Sunday. BBQ Monday.

Though to be honest I get to do this most weekends because I'm not a whipped little bitch like you guys. Wassup.

Slammed.
Click to expand...

Handle your damn business like a grown-ass man. I know so many husbands who are little bitches when their wives are around. Stop that and you'll probably get more ass. And don't flush the toilet or clean up the damn kitchen because you your wife is coming home. Do it because you're grown. Or don't do it, and tell your wife you aren't going to do it, because again, you're grown.

If you're just a lazy slob and want to be that, you should probably find a wife who is the same and quit praying for a few days your wife is out of town to be yourself.
 
It gives a glimpse into what being a single parent would be like and it's not something I'd like to take on.
 
Middle-aged married couple that lives across the street from us: wife goes away with the teenage son to the mountains for literally the entire summer. I can only imagine what that dude gets himself into.
 
WhatUTalkinBout Willis said:
Handle your damn business like a grown-ass man. I know so many husbands who are little bitches when their wives are around. Stop that and you'll probably get more ass. And don't flush the toilet or clean up the damn kitchen because you your wife is coming home. Do it because you're grown. Or don't do it, and tell your wife you aren't going to do it, because again, you're grown.

If you're just a lazy slob and want to be that, you should probably find a wife who is the same and quit praying for a few days your wife is out of town to be yourself.
Click to expand...

lol
 
WhatUTalkinBout Willis said:
Handle your damn business like a grown-ass man. I know so many husbands who are little bitches when their wives are around. Stop that and you'll probably get more ass. And don't flush the toilet or clean up the damn kitchen because you your wife is coming home. Do it because you're grown. Or don't do it, and tell your wife you aren't going to do it, because again, you're grown.

If you're just a lazy slob and want to be that, you should probably find a wife who is the same and quit praying for a few days your wife is out of town to be yourself.
Click to expand...

a little sanctimonious for a Friday. Maybe ease off the horse and have a beer.
 
Order takeout, since who wants to clean up and waste that time with food prep, mental energy to make that decision, or clean, when wife is gone.

Lift weights in peace while waiting on food, which makes me feel uber-productive before eating crappy food. Use cash to pay for food, since real men use cash, not pansy credit cards for points etc. Tip like a man.

Turn volume way down on TV so as to eat in peace.

Watch MILF's walk by in the neighborhood, out window, while eating takeout. Stare shamelessly.

Make to do list only associated with dog as must not forget to feed dog or let dog out, which can happen in this blissful state.

Eat entire bag/box of fig newtons or cookies.

Drink entire jug of chocolate milk.

While on sugar and processed food high, belch unabashedly. Pass gas like a champ. Then clean 1 thing inside home really well that I can point out when she returns. Perhaps a carpet stain, or the hardwood floors, toaster oven, stove top, inside washing machine - something lagging for weeks, that is obvious. Use massive amount of cleaner so 0 scrubbing or real work involved. Use half a roll or paper towels or more, as needed. Be wasteful in excess to avoid actual labor. Max clean time: 20 minutes. Use a timer.

Sit down after productive cleaning. Watch COPS on a loop as it is hysterical and never fails. Watch sports, but documentaries 30 for 30 type shit, stuff she would never allow since live games are ok, but somehow anything cerebral associated with sports is a no go (!%#^).

Stuff all laundry into one load under "mixed colors." Perhaps do 2 loads, but that is actual work, so aim is 1 load. Forget to put in dryer. Drink favorite beer, slowly, savor it.

Stay up way too late. Tired day 2. Take massive dump first thing in morning. Re-wash clothes. Put in dryer this time. Read an actual book. Nap in peace.

Wake up from nap, hopefully not that awful still asleep waking up feeling, but refreshed - always a nap risk. Weed eat for 10 minutes. Leaf blow garage and drive way (max 10 minutes). Use 409, spray into interior of outside trash cans and perhaps interior trash can in kitchen. Wait 5 minutes, wash out with water hose - kills all that shit built up in there.

And when she returns, point out all the clean (unfolded or put away, but clean) laundry; tons of yardwork (leaf blowing helps); refreshed trash cans, and of course the EXTREME extra effort that went into the major interior cleaning project.

Max work time: 60 minutes. Huge benefit due to diversity of work.

Works for me.
 
Complacent Deac said:
Order takeout, since who wants to clean up and waste that time with food prep, mental energy to make that decision, or clean, when wife is gone.

Lift weights in peace while waiting on food, which makes me feel uber-productive before eating crappy food. Use cash to pay for food, since real men use cash, not pansy credit cards for points etc. Tip like a man.

Turn volume way down on TV so as to eat in peace.

Watch MILF's walk by in the neighborhood, out window, while eating takeout. Stare shamelessly.

Make to do list only associated with dog as must not forget to feed dog or let dog out, which can happen in this blissful state.

Eat entire bag/box of fig newtons or cookies.

Drink entire jug of chocolate milk.

While on sugar and processed food high, belch unabashedly. Pass gas like a champ. Then clean 1 thing inside home really well that I can point out when she returns. Perhaps a carpet stain, or the hardwood floors, toaster oven, stove top, inside washing machine - something lagging for weeks, that is obvious. Use massive amount of cleaner so 0 scrubbing or real work involved. Use half a roll or paper towels or more, as needed. Be wasteful in excess to avoid actual labor. Max clean time: 20 minutes. Use a timer.

Sit down after productive cleaning. Watch COPS on a loop as it is hysterical and never fails. Watch sports, but documentaries 30 for 30 type shit, stuff she would never allow since live games are ok, but somehow anything cerebral associated with sports is a no go (!%#^).

Stuff all laundry into one load under "mixed colors." Perhaps do 2 loads, but that is actual work, so aim is 1 load. Forget to put in dryer. Drink favorite beer, slowly, savor it.

Stay up way too late. Tired day 2. Take massive dump first thing in morning. Re-wash clothes. Put in dryer this time. Read an actual book. Nap in peace.

Wake up from nap, hopefully not that awful still asleep waking up feeling, but refreshed - always a nap risk. Weed eat for 10 minutes. Leaf blow garage and drive way (max 10 minutes). Use 409, spray into interior of outside trash cans and perhaps interior trash can in kitchen. Wait 5 minutes, wash out with water hose - kills all that shit built up in there.

And when she returns, point out all the clean (unfolded or put away, but clean) laundry; tons of yardwork (leaf blowing helps); refreshed trash cans, and of course the EXTREME extra effort that went into the major interior cleaning project.

Max work time: 60 minutes. Huge benefit due to diversity of work.

Works for me.
Click to expand...


This is impressive and sort of resembles my life. However, I have no wife so it's 24/7.
 
I can pretty much do what I want when my wife and kids are around. But when they are gone, the acoustic drums get a lot of action and the electric kit gets none. And lots of 70s hard rock gets full volume treatment throughout the the house in between drumming binges.
 
WhatUTalkinBout Willis said:
Handle your damn business like a grown-ass man. I know so many husbands who are little bitches when their wives are around. Stop that and you'll probably get more ass. And don't flush the toilet or clean up the damn kitchen because you your wife is coming home. Do it because you're grown. Or don't do it, and tell your wife you aren't going to do it, because again, you're grown.

If you're just a lazy slob and want to be that, you should probably find a wife who is the same and quit praying for a few days your wife is out of town to be yourself.
Click to expand...

Look at this grown ass man. And I don't even have a wife because it's 2016 and I'm not a slave to some arcane government tax laws that are gonna tell me how to express my love. Ya'll are as bad about being whipped by the guvm't as you are to your wives.
 
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