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Are you divorced?

PhilliesDeacs said:
I'd be interested in seeing some numbers on divorces with couples who had sex before marriage and couples who didn't. I can't imagine committing the rest of my life to someone when I'm in the dark on our sexual chemistry.
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Every long-time married couple I've ever heard discuss this, whether they had sex before marriage or not, has said the sexual chemistry/passion you have early on in a relationship is vastly different from the sexual chemistry later on. I'm not saying it's not a factor to consider, but I'm not sure it's high up the list of things that matter when committing the rest of your life to someone. The sexual chemistry 5-10 years down the road will be developed and built and is unlikely to be the same as the horny romps of your initial year or 3.

I'd even hazard a guess that the numbers may favor those that don't have sex before marriage. You could argue that it's religion, guilt, etc that keeps them together and be right in many cases I'm sure, but I think there's a valid argument that sexual passion of he early years of a relationship can cover for a lot of issues that start to cause problems when you are actually doing life together rather than just going on dates and getting naked.
 
doubledeac said:
us-map-divorce-rate-for-women-2009.png
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Gotta love that Bible-belt.
 
I'm divorced. 3 kids. When she left they were about 16, 13 and 8. Not sure what you want to know. The ex tried for years to get me to leave. She finally asked me if I was going to leave and I said no that I had kids to raise. She left. It was my oldest daughters 16th birthday. You can imagine how that went over. My 2 oldest have stayed with me and are now in college. The youngest has always gone back and forth every week. For about 12 years we had the life that she said she wanted. Suburban cul de sac house, church, dinner parties, soccer, girl scouts, beach trip in the summer and at least trip a year just the 2 of us, minivan. I think she woke up one day and decided she didn't want all of that anymore and started trying to get me to leave by withholding sex, being borderline violent (hitting me several times), spending like crazy, etc.

It's been a great thing for me and I think my kids are better off because of it. She's a mess and has been for a long time. She just can't stop and be satisfied with anything. She's been in a relationship that has also ended. I can not imagine getting married again. I have a terrific girl friend who has her own daughter and is not thinking marriage either. I'm think it may become an option after my youngest leaves the house but the only reason is I don't think she will live with me without being married because of family and religious beliefs. I think that's crazy because we stay together when her daughter and my son are at the other parents every other week.

What else would you like to know? It can be really expensive. My ex and I worked it out without paying a bunch of lawyer fees. I'm sure she wishes she fought for more $$ or support. I pretty much take care of everything for all 3 kids.
 
Wuffey said:
I'm divorced. 3 kids. When she left they were about 16, 13 and 8. Not sure what you want to know. The ex tried for years to get me to leave. She finally asked me if I was going to leave and I said no that I had kids to raise. She left. It was my oldest daughters 16th birthday. You can imagine how that went over. My 2 oldest have stayed with me and are now in college. The youngest has always gone back and forth every week. For about 12 years we had the life that she said she wanted. Suburban cul de sac house, church, dinner parties, soccer, girl scouts, beach trip in the summer and at least trip a year just the 2 of us, minivan. I think she woke up one day and decided she didn't want all of that anymore and started trying to get me to leave by withholding sex, being borderline violent (hitting me several times), spending like crazy, etc.

It's been a great thing for me and I think my kids are better off because of it. She's a mess and has been for a long time. She just can't stop and be satisfied with anything. She's been in a relationship that has also ended. I can not imagine getting married again. I have a terrific girl friend who has her own daughter and is not thinking marriage either. I'm think it may become an option after my youngest leaves the house but the only reason is I don't think she will live with me without being married because of family and religious beliefs. I think that's crazy because we stay together when her daughter and my son are at the other parents every other week.

What else would you like to know? It can be really expensive. My ex and I worked it out without paying a bunch of lawyer fees. I'm sure she wishes she fought for more $$ or support. I pretty much take care of everything for all 3 kids.
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http://psychcentral.com/lib/symptoms-of-borderline-personality-disorder/0001063
 
Does she pay child support?
 
RacerDeac said:
Every long-time married couple I've ever heard discuss this, whether they had sex before marriage or not, has said the sexual chemistry/passion you have early on in a relationship is vastly different from the sexual chemistry later on. I'm not saying it's not a factor to consider, but I'm not sure it's high up the list of things that matter when committing the rest of your life to someone. The sexual chemistry 5-10 years down the road will be developed and built and is unlikely to be the same as the horny romps of your initial year or 3.

I'd even hazard a guess that the numbers may favor those that don't have sex before marriage. You could argue that it's religion, guilt, etc that keeps them together and be right in many cases I'm sure, but I think there's a valid argument that sexual passion of he early years of a relationship can cover for a lot of issues that start to cause problems when you are actually doing life together rather than just going on dates and getting naked.
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who doesn't bang before marriage these days? probably like 1% of bible thumping weirdos and canadians.
 
RubbinsRacin said:
anyone ever caused a divorce? due to extremely hot D? or v? or b-h?
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i had this friend in middle school that i lost touch with in high school. we caught up one summer after college and he told me this long story about how he got really into that world of warcraft stuff and broke up a marriage through the internet.
 
RubbinsRacin said:
anyone ever caused a divorce? due to extremely hot D? or v? or b-h?
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Probably saved this girl I worked with at one of my internships from a future divorce by breaking up her engagement.
 
I have a friend chick from HS that broke up a rock star dude and made bank and we never believed he would marry her (he banged her while married and we were in hs) but now she is a multi millionaire and has a couple stink rats with the dude. straight cray. cool chick though
 
RubbinsRacin said:
Also, el chupe kills engagements like a boss on the regular. Rip el chupe
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A true American hero. The circumstances of my situation I'm not likely to repeat now that I'm older and wiser, especially the drunken make out at her birthday party at his house with many friends in attendance. There's just nothing like being 20 years old.
 
buckets said:
who doesn't bang before marriage these days? probably like 1% of bible thumping weirdos and canadians.
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Agreed. It's pretty unusual and not really the point. I was just replying to Phillies' post surmising that sexual chemistry in the early stages of a relationship might be an indicator of whether a marriage would last. All I'm saying is that whether or not the sexual chemistry is awesome before marriage is likely a very poor indicator of whether or not a marriage will be successful. IMO, it's far more likely to cloud judgement and lead to the wrong decision than be any indication of whether you'll still want to do life with that person 10 years down the road.
 
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RacerDeac said:
Agreed. It's pretty unusual and not really the point. I was just replying to Phillies' post surmising that sexual chemistry in the early stages of a relationship might be an indicator of whether a marriage would last. All I'm saying is that whether or not the sexual chemistry is awesome before marriage is likely a very poor indicator of whether or not a marriage will be successful. IMO, it's far more likely to cloud judgement and lead to the wrong decision than be any indication of whether you'll still want to do life with that person 10 years down the road.
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Good point, although I still wonder about the opposite of your scenario. What happens when two people cash in their v-cards on their honeymoon and then over the course of the next few weeks/months realize their physical chemistry is terrible? Or their sexual tastes are completely out of sync?
 
PhilliesDeacs said:
Good point, although I still wonder about the opposite of your scenario. What happens when two people cash in their v-cards on their honeymoon and then over the course of the next few weeks/months realize their physical chemistry is terrible? Or their sexual tastes are completely out of sync?
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Jesus will keep them together!
 
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