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Hookup Mishap Stories

EatLeadCommie said:
Wait, so your buddy said that as a joke or your buddy was with a girl who was imploring him to also PIITB?

I have a female who is a very good friend. Maybe even my best friend at this point. Anyway, after a long time of us being friendly but never having sex, the inevitable happened a few months back. We finally did it. However, I didn't have a rubber on me because I wasn't expecting to get laid. Telling her this, she merely shrugged and said, "Put it in the other hole." Score! It shocked me quite a bit because we had exchanged a lot of sex stories and never once did she mention an affinity for anal.
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His girlfriend said it, and it was low and quiet. That's what was so funny.
 
DreaminDeacon said:
First-Date-Anal.jpg
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Has this ever, ever, resulted in a second date?
 
WhatUTalkinBout Willis said:
At Wake, I had a few. The best was undoubtedly when I hooked up with a girl visiting a friend of hers from U of R. It went great, and I totally handled my business up on my loft in Taylor. She passed out upon completion.

When it was all done I came back to the frat house and hooked up with another chick, forgot about the first chick and brought her back to my room, too. That went well also, but this time I was on the couch, under the loft. We both passed out and then I got gas. I kept letting out thses slient farts. eventually the smell woke up the girl up on the top bunk.

She jumped down from the bumk, looked at the second girl and said "you smell horrible" and walked out.

Awesome night.
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LMAO
 
Willis is killing this thread. 94 with solid input. I'd share, but can't touch these posts.
 
Marquee Moon said:
Has this ever, ever, resulted in a second date?
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Funny you should mention that. Both before and since I gave my female friend anal, I have stayed over at her place several times, each without sex...except that one time.
 
I just noticed the tags for this thread. Strong to quite strong.
 
Junior year of high school. New Years Eve. Very drunk. The girl that is driving me and I are about to hook up and decide to stop in a parking lot to do so. We do not realize that we have stopped in the SC State Museum parking lot. About 15 minutes in, we look up to see two cop cars behind us. Luckily they kind of laughed it off after questioning us, but I'll never forget sitting on the curb with an older officer staring at me and then just saying nonchalantly, "You might want to zip up those pants son."
 
Got another one that isn't so remarkable, just fun.

Back in the summer of 92, I was on campus taking summer classes trying (yeah, right) to get enough credits to graduate early. My GF was also there working at a summer camp.

So very late one night, we head up to the Quad. At that time (maybe still) those dorms were all empty and unused during the summer. So the quad would generally be a ghost-town at night. There used to be a wooden bench next to the brick wall that ran along side what was then the SAE house and the post office. We sat down there one night, to watch the lights on Wait and enjoy the silence of the quad. Gradually that led to this and led to more of this and soon, I've got blue balls so bad, a nice breeze would've left a mess all the way over to the front door at Taylor. So she squirms out of her panties and I... I think I just ripped off my pants or something, I don't know. At that point, I probably would've banged a semi-warm corpse. But there were no DelPhis around so....:D

Anyway, she jumps up and on and we're going at it right there on the bench on an empty quad. I guess we lost track of time because as we're really getting noisy and rocking, I look over her shoulder and see a guy walking onto the quad from the parking lot between Poteat and Kitchen. I see he's carrying a large bundle and I'm trying to slow her down so we can make some kind of stupid effort to appear to be studying or something. Sex makes you an idiot.

To no avail. The guy walks right past us towards the post office carrying a huge stack of USA Today papers. It was like 4am. He just smiled and shook his head. I had no choice by then, busted it and tried to pull ourselves together. It was always weird walking past that bench in later years with the wife and kids. I think the bench is gone now, though.
 
I went to a good friends bachelors party in Las Vegas a few years ago. We had 8 guys who crammed into 2 hotel rooms so we doubled up in the beds. After a night of excessive drinking we decide to crash. An hour or so later, I wake to find my bedmate snuggled up on me with his hand on my bare chest. Its fairly well known that my chest is very similar to a bear, so still my best guess is that he enjoys the presence of hairy chested women. I'm trying to decide the best way to handle this situation...wake him up nicely and let him know his mistake or freak out and wake up the entire room.

Maybe 5 seconds later his hand starts heading south and I'm freaking out inside praying this is just some sort of fucked up dream. Each inch makes me even more uncomfortable and finally I grabbed his hand to stop him when he reached my belly button. He wakes up and freaks out, and then after a second or two apolgizes and I roll over as far away on the bed as I can. The whole interaction maybe to between 5-10 seconds but it felt like an eternity.
 
tsywake said:
I went to a good friends bachelors party in Las Vegas a few years ago. We had 8 guys who crammed into 2 hotel rooms so we doubled up in the beds. After a night of excessive drinking we decide to crash. An hour or so later, I wake to find my bedmate snuggled up on me with his hand on my bare chest. Its fairly well known that my chest is very similar to a bear, so still my best guess is that he enjoys the presence of hairy chested women. I'm trying to decide the best way to handle this situation...wake him up nicely and let him know his mistake or freak out and wake up the entire room.

Maybe 5 seconds later his hand starts heading south and I'm freaking out inside praying this is just some sort of fucked up dream. Each inch makes me even more uncomfortable and finally I grabbed his hand to stop him when he reached my belly button. He wakes up and freaks out, and then after a second or two apolgizes and I roll over as far away on the bed as I can. The whole interaction maybe to between 5-10 seconds but it felt like an eternity.
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So in this story you were getting felt up by a dude, and let it keep going until the last second. Awesome.
 
1998 KD formal. My date got hammered to the extreme. I was drunk, but not that drunk. We took the inevitable vomit comet bus ride back to campus. Girls were yakking left and right, including my date. Took her up to her room in a Quad dorm, much like a hunter carries a deer carcass to the truck. In her room she rouses as she gets in bed and starts getting all frisky. I would have been all about it, were it not for her puke stained clothing and face. I told her she needed to sleep and I'd see her the next day. As I walk out, she sits up in bed and screams, "YOU'RE JUST GOING TO LEAVE ME HERE UNSATISFIED?" I responded, "Absolutely." I turn to leave her room and there are girls in the door to every other room in the suite wondering who was screaming. I tipped my imaginary hat and said, "Ladies..." and exited the suite.

REALTALK: My gentlemanly move attracted one of the hoodratz I knew in the room next door. She emailed me the next day and that night, things went down in a Scales practice room.
 
Fall 1998: Went to the DMB concert in Greensboro (?) one Saturday night and got home late. I had an IM from this freshman who had been stalking me. She was not entirely busted, so I replied. She came over and we went for a drive, so as not to be seen by anyone I knew. Parked my sweet-ass 1991 Plymouth Acclaim at some cul-de-sac in a neighborhood near campus. Kick it in the front seat? Banging in the back seat? Which seat should I take? The back seat. Good times were had by both. Took her back to Bostwick and went home.

THE TWIST: Sunday morning, 7:00 am on the dot my phone rings.
Her: "Hey. Whatcha doing?"
Me: Sleeping, stupid.
Her: Oh. So what's up?
Me: Why the holy fuck are you calling me at 7am on a Sunday morning?
Her: I wake up early and thought we could hang out this morning.
Me: OHELLNO. *click*

It took months to rid me of the stalker I had created. Moral of the story, freshman girls at Wake are all pretty much psycho.
 
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