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What Do You Do When Your SO is Away?

a little strange to rag on a married guy who gets enough to make fapping overrated

but i agree, his fap routine is a little over the top
 
ImTheCaptain said:
a little strange to rag on a married guy who gets enough to make fapping overrated

but i agree, his fap routine is a little over the top
Click to expand...

He had a thread where he complained about getting it once a week, ppl forget that
 
That's exactly how I'd imagine a successful serial killer would fap.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
^^dunno if same story Moonz is referencing, but there is a ATLbro who travels a lot and wife travels a lot for work. He apparently forgot when wifey was coming back to town and hadn't fully cleaned up after some extra-curriculars while she was gone.

She found a full condom in the marital bed. His story?

"I masturbate into condoms while you are gone so I don't make a mess"
 
Also, my general advice on the subject:

1. Always take the trash offsite before the return, however, dont have a completely empty/fresh bag in the container when she comes home.

2. Use a lint brush on the couch, pillows to pick up any conspicuous hoodrat hairs (now, this step can be avoided if you only go after hoodratz with same hair color as SO, but as we all know, that completely counter to the objective).
 
TheTwinAndreBen said:
Also, my general advice on the subject:

1. Always take the trash offsite before the return, however, dont have a completely empty/fresh bag in the container when she comes home.

2. Use a lint brush on the couch, pillows to pick up any conspicuous hoodrat hairs (now, this step can be avoided if you only go after hoodratz with same hair color as SO, but as we all know, that completely counter to the objective).
Click to expand...

Along the lines of the highlighted one, a friend got an entertainment center from Ikea. His wife went out to get some things while he was putting it together. He finished and called me in a confused state. He wanted to know what to do with 50+ extra parts.

I suggested he shake the unit to see if was OK. It was. Then I told him to put the extra parts in a bag, wrap it in another bag and then immediately take it to the dumpster 2-3 buildings over in their complex. He did.

A few years later, we told his soon to be ex-wife about the construction of entertainment center and she lost it. She got even angrier when we laughed about her losing it over something that had worked fine for a few years.
 
RJKarl said:
Along the lines of the highlighted one, a friend got an entertainment center from Ikea. His wife went out to get some things while he was putting it together. He finished and called me in a confused state. He wanted to know what to do with 50+ extra parts.

I suggested he shake the unit to see if was OK. It was. Then I told him to put the extra parts in a bag, wrap it in another bag and then immediately take it to the dumpster 2-3 buildings over in their complex. He did.

A few years later, we told his soon to be ex-wife about the construction of entertainment center and she lost it. She got even angrier when we laughed about her losing it over something that had worked fine for a few years.
Click to expand...

...there are so many pieces of this story that I want to dissect and discuss in terms of their relevance to the referenced post. I can kind of see the parallel you're drawing (remove the evidence!), but also... comparing IKEA screws to used condoms is a bit of a reach, unless she's like some kind of OCD structural engineer.
 
I just remembered another good one. I was at Sullivans in Silver Lake not long ago, hanging out with Steve Rosenbottom and Daniel Slingmoth, who produce surfing movies with Bill Pomgrant. It was getting late, so I asked for the check but the wiatress told me that it had already been paid. I asked who paid it and she points to the corner booth next to the mens room. Sitting in the booth is Ron Jeremy. The hedgehog himself. Turns out that he and Stevie did a project together about 3 years ago, and he remembered him because his name is Rosenbogttom. So we go over to thank him and he invites us to sit down. About five minutes later, Rae Dawn Chong walks in and sits in Ronnie's lap. We had a few drinks and Ronnie snorted a couple of lines, then takes Mrs. Chong into the bathroom and literally made the walls shake behind us. Stevie and I lost it for a good ten minutes, while Danny feeds the jukebox dollar after dollar trying to cover up the noise with old Lynyrd Skynyrd songs. About this time, John Billingsley and Jimmy Hawn (goldie's brother) came in and we waved them over and sent Jimmy into the mens room for the show. Now Jimmy had been drinking since around 10am, and it's getting late. He opened the door and starts laughing so hard that he can't control himself. Then he runs into the mens room, vomits into the urinal then lays down on the tiles. About this time, Ronnie comes out of the stall to cum in the sink while Rae is cleaning up. We're all standing outside now watching, and Ronnie looks at me, winks, and drops his load all over the back of Jimmy's head while he's passing out on the floor. We cheered like the lakers had won a championship.
 
RJKarl said:
Along the lines of the highlighted one, a friend got an entertainment center from Ikea. His wife went out to get some things while he was putting it together. He finished and called me in a confused state. He wanted to know what to do with 50+ extra parts.

I suggested he shake the unit to see if was OK. It was. Then I told him to put the extra parts in a bag, wrap it in another bag and then immediately take it to the dumpster 2-3 buildings over in their complex. He did.

A few years later, we told his soon to be ex-wife about the construction of entertainment center and she lost it. She got even angrier when we laughed about her losing it over something that had worked fine for a few years.
Click to expand...

2ic1l3l.jpg
 
TheTwinAndreBen said:
Also, my general advice on the subject:

1. Always take the trash offsite before the return, however, dont have a completely empty/fresh bag in the container when she comes home.

2. Use a lint brush on the couch, pillows to pick up any conspicuous hoodrat hairs (now, this step can be avoided if you only go after hoodratz with same hair color as SO, but as we all know, that completely counter to the objective).
Click to expand...

RJKarl said:
Along the lines of the highlighted one, a friend got an entertainment center from Ikea. His wife went out to get some things while he was putting it together. He finished and called me in a confused state. He wanted to know what to do with 50+ extra parts.

I suggested he shake the unit to see if was OK. It was. Then I told him to put the extra parts in a bag, wrap it in another bag and then immediately take it to the dumpster 2-3 buildings over in their complex. He did.

A few years later, we told his soon to be ex-wife about the construction of entertainment center and she lost it. She got even angrier when we laughed about her losing it over something that had worked fine for a few years.
Click to expand...

actually along similar lines is a guy i knew that would bang anything he could when his wife was out of town. he hired a cleaning service that sent different people so anytime she found a hair he said "must be cleaning service."

he was a brilliant with his cheating game. a true scum bag savant.
 
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