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The Pit Parenting Thread

She is probably just setting you up to try to sell you or the wife some LulaRoe or Younique or some other pyramid scheme shit.
 
ImTheCaptain said:
day two of 16 days of solo parenting and I am starting to run ragged already
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I've found after a few days I get into a groove. Of course the last few days can be a show with the kid(s) really missing mom.
 
On the plane and getting ready to do five and a half hours (BWI-SEA) with the two month old. PRAY FOR US.


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We're doing Charlotte to Sacramento on Thursday night with an almost 3 year old and I'm #nervous. Really hope he sleeps.
 
MHBDemon said:
My dad powers do not include the memory that some of you have. fuck if I know the age when my kids moved rooms or ate solids or switched from bottles to sippy cups.
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i am convinced that the lack of memory is an important part of our biological evolutionary functioning. If you could remember what it's like to have a newborn, you might not do it again.
 
this is a different age issue, but I welcome suggestions - we were all teens once and I'm struggling. My twin 8th graders just wrapped up Q4 at school and both of their grades sucked. (#1: F in English, 3 D's, a C and a B in PE; #2: an F (41!!!!) in business ed; 3 Ds, 2 C's.) They don't turn in half of what's assigned to them and what they do turn in is late, so almost all of the grades are due to 0s (missing work) and 50s (late work). They are not bad or dumb kids - just unmotivated. They don't hang out with the wrong crowd and they don't use drugs. They are capable of doing their work and have been tested for ADHD, etc. Assuming no medical issues, how does one go about giving a 14 year old a metaphorical kick in the butt so that he starts trying harder in school? I have tried so many things....taking away electronics, privileges, etc.

Among the ideas I am seriously now considering for the summer are:
- not letting them go to summer camp for 2 weeks, which they love
- they would sleep in the backyard in a tent in their sleeping bags - they would be allowed to get back in the house for a night by serving others, whether it's mowing our elderly neighbor's lawn or working at the soup kitchen or doing serious chores at our house
- no "fun" books unless they have earned it as noted above...only the 9th grade reading list is allowed
- summer school, although summer school options seem limited
- work: I will help them write a letter, to be delivered to every house within 4 blocks, offering to mow their grass weekly this summer for free or for pay. I will follow up with my own letter to the same houses, explaining what we're trying to accomplish and offering to supervise the work so that the boys will learn the value of their effort and how to do a good job on something the first time.
- taking them on a tour of a military academy or boarding school
- hiring a tutor for the summer to work with them on organizational skills and math (where they do struggle) - they have been getting math tutoring for several years now already.

Hopefully you see the idea. I'm not trying to be cruel and I will be encouraging and loving throughout, but they need something drastic to see that this is a serious problem. Any ideas? Any chance any of you were once there? Thanks all.
 
FYI, when you say you're taking them to military school "for a tour," that's when you actually drop them off.

I had a friend who pulled their 11th grader out of CCDS and took him straight to Camden one weekend.
 
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apparently my ex-wife thinks they don't really need much change. this is going to be a challenge!
 
What type of academic performance would constitute needing a change in her opinion ? Blutarsky level GPA: 0.0 ?

My third grader is unmotivated but he had one B the whole year with the rest A's and is getting an academic reward tomorrow. He's well aware of what military school entails as we have pondered what his level of engagement with school will be in a few years.
 
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I think the work idea is the best. Manual labor in the hot summer at that age while seeing my dad in his air conditioned office made me fully aware of the benefits of education. But grass mowing is too easy, have it be fence painting or brush clearing or something similar. Hell send them to my house and I have a hill full of brush that needs to be cleared that I'll pay you/them for.
 
i mean, #1 has a 1.0. That seems like a serious problem to me, but she informed me this morning that as a "trained educator" my ideas aren't very good. ridiculous.
 
2&2 Slider To Leyritz said:
I think the work idea is the best. Manual labor in the hot summer at that age while seeing my dad in his air conditioned office made me fully aware of the benefits of education.
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YES. Me too. Thank you. (I anticipate catching a LOT of shit for thinking that 2&2's workplace advice is good.) :thumbsup:
 
i don't think seeing dad in an AC'd office would be super helpful

maybe seeing a manager/boss in the office. i think seeing dad might ramp up the resentment meter
 
my 4th grader is annoyed that he only got a 4 on his reading EOG and is all fired up for doing the Duke TIP program next year....so I am apparently capable of producing scholastically competent children.
 
Show them what it's like to actually be poor because you lack education. That means serious manual labor, make it for free since you are paying for everything else already, food options should be canned or wic approved, etc... hell turn off the water in their bathroom, too poor to pay the water bill. Your biggest problem will be the enabler of nothing is wrong ex wife.
 
ImTheCaptain said:
i don't think seeing dad in an AC'd office would be super helpful

maybe seeing a manager/boss in the office. i think seeing dad might ramp up the resentment meter
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Meh, I was a pre-teen/teen. It's not like the parent/child relationship was at an all-time high at that phase anyway.
 
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