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Men who have cheated

I cheated on my college GF a pretty good bit, but I was open about it (so I am not sure how that qualifies). She graduated and I was left in WS for one more summer and year of college. I mean, I told her there was no way I would not hook up w other girls and I wanted to, but I also liked her and still wanted to spend time with her. It really hurt when I found out she also started in with someone else. They are married now.
 
I cheated on my ex-girlfriend with the girl who became my wife. And I pretty much cheated on my ex-ex-girlfriend with my ex-girlfriend (we were in bed and she told me she wouldn't sleep with me until I broke up with my ex-ex - so I picked up the phone, while still in bed, and broke that off - and then broke something else off). I'm not proud of having cheated, but I'm not really all that ashamed either. Shit happens. And neither girl actually found out about the cheating... at least not that I know of. And I married one of the "other" women and couldn't be happier, so it worked out well for me.

Now I have also been the one cheated on before as well. Two exes that I know about for sure. One straight up told me in an attempt to make our relationship better. Then she told me that she slept with 6 other dudes. I was actually relieved, because that was the easiest breakup conversation EVAR. To her credit, this bitch was CRAY. She was committed for a bit while we were together. She had some major issues... probably still does. I wish her nothing but ill will... and mostly not because of the cheating. The other girl just cheated because she was kind of slutty, which is pretty much why I was with her in the first place. I knew what I was getting into.
 
DirtySouthDeacon said:
Well not really since I told her and she hid it from me, but I think I would have a double standard either way.
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so you told her you were going to get busy with other chicks while you were long distance. she was ok with it. you were surprised she was getting side booty? the only thing that should have surprised you is how many dudes she jammed. because it was not just the one she told you about.
 
Deadbolt said:
I've never cheated, but when I was single I had a guy I was friends with at the time who decided that his girlfriend and I were hooking up...we weren't. But he kept on and on, and finally started a fight one night when he was drunk. So I did what any logical person would...I slept with his girlfriend and stopped being his friend. Pretty sure they broke up. And she's a lesbian now.
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So which one of you turned her?
 
RaleighDeacon said:
So which one of you turned her?
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Well, once you've had the best men have to offer, might as well try the other team, amirite? :thumbsup:

Edit: Also, her girlfriend (judging by Facebook pics) is smoking hot. Considering some of the ogres I saw her date, she upgraded when she switched teams.
 
Deadbolt said:
Well, once you've had the best men have to offer, might as well try the other team, amirite? :thumbsup:

Edit: Also, her girlfriend (judging by Facebook pics) is smoking hot. Considering some of the ogres I saw her date, she upgraded when she switched teams.
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THE ELUSIVE HOT LESBIAN CHICK!
 
I never cheated. Now that I am married, I wish I had taken the opportunity to cheat that presented themselves while I was dating.

Unless you are cheating on the person you are going to marry, I'm not sure that cheating makes any real difference.
 
DeaconSig said:
I never cheated. Now that I am married, I wish I had taken the opportunity to cheat that presented themselves while I was dating.

Unless you are cheating on the person you are going to marry, I'm not sure that cheating makes any real difference.
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This is a fair point. However, why are you dating them if you think there is no chance of marriage?

I have to say I do think if you cheat on them you shouldn't marry them, no way that will work out and will greatly increase the odds you cheat on your spouse.
 
bojanglefunk said:
This is a fair point. However, why are you dating them if you think there is no chance of marriage?

I have to say I do think if you cheat on them you shouldn't marry them, no way that will work out and will greatly increase the odds you cheat on your spouse.
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If you're under 25 I definitely don't think you need to limit yourself to dating only people you think you might marry.
 
WRS said:
If you're under 25 I definitely don't think you need to limit yourself to dating only people you think you might marry.
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Also a fair point, to an extent. I was thinking like super serious dating.
 
I've never cheated. Of course I've really only been in one year long relationship, and I only had one opportunity to cheat. Couldn't do it.
 
bojanglefunk said:
This is a fair point. However, why are you dating them if you think there is no chance of marriage?

I have to say I do think if you cheat on them you shouldn't marry them, no way that will work out and will greatly increase the odds you cheat on your spouse.
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I wouldn't let a girl get real serious if I knew I wasn't interested (i.e if I knew she wasn't the kind of girl I want to marry) in marrying her, but at the same time, unless it's specifically discussed to the contrary, if you're spending the night together a few times a week after a so long it's expected that you aren't sleeping with anyone else....even if you haven't had the DTR talk....if you sleep with someone else then it's hard to say you weren't cheating because you didn't DTR. So in that sense, I can definitely see why you'd "date" someone who you weren't planning on marrying. No sense in being alone until you find the right girl. You can like a girl and she can be a good time but you can know you aren't going to marry her at the same time....it's up to your judgement to determine how serious you want to let it get.
 
WRS said:
If you're under 25 I definitely don't think you need to limit yourself to dating only people you think you might marry.
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If you're under 25, dating and "dating" are essentially the same thing. If you're around 35 and up, dating and "dating" represent the difference between potential marriage and a hooker.
 
ChrisPaul3 said:
There's a little something I like to call the Big 5 of reasons to cheat:

1. She got fat
2. She got old
3. She got a bad haircut
4. She got burned in a house fire
5. Secretly like wieners
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Yup, but especially #1 times 100 billlion.
 
"The difficulty of arriving at a workable sexual ethic arises from the conflict between the impulse to jealousy and the impulse to polygamy. There is no doubt that jealousy, while in part instinctive, is to a very large degree conventional. In societies in which a man is considered a fit object for ridicule if his wife is unfaithful, he will be jealous where she is concerned, even if he no longer has any affection for her. Thus jealousy is intimately connected with the sense of property, and is much less where this sense is absent. If faithfulness is no part of what is conventionally expected, jealousy is much diminished. But although there is more possibility of lessening jealousy than many people suppose, there are very definite limits so long as fathers have rights and duties. So long as this is the case, it is inevitable that men should desire some assurance that they are the fathers of their wives' children. If women are to have sexual freedom, fathers must fade out, and wives must no longer expect to be supported by their husbands. This may come about in time, but it will be a profound social change, and its effects, for good or ill, are incalculable.

In the meantime, if marriage and paternity are to survive as social institutions, some compromise is necessary between complete promiscuity and life-long monogamy. To decide on the best compromise at any given moment is not easy; and the decision should vary from time to time, according to the habits of the population and the reliability of birth-control methods. Some things, however, can be said with some definiteness."

-Bertrand Russell, Our Sexual Ethics

http://www.utilitarian.org/texts/oursexethics.html
 
I cheated in the past out of pure immaturity and arrogance on girls that I shouldn't have been in a relationship with in the first place...Once I got caught by a girl that I truly loved I felt so horrible about myself that I'd never do it again.

So either the relationship is wrong, the guy is unfeeling or hasn't been caught and realized the hurt he's caused to someone he truly cares about. IMHO.
 
I guess it depends on how you define wrong.


If you're unhappy in a relationship, sexually repressed, and the significant other has no way to find out, then it causes no harm to the partner, therefore the overall happiness is not diminished. This assumes that the enjoyment of the affair outweighs the ramifications to your conscience or the additional effort needed to continue it.

To provide a blanket, universalized moral statement such as "cheating is always wrong" is too polarized to encompass all possible situations and their unique complexities.
 
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